I'm sorry for disappearing like that, guys... Things have been - well, a little hectic lately. My brain has been jumping around like a rabbit and it's fallen into some very deep holes already.
Anyway, I hope you all have a wonderful season, whatever you celebrate/if you celebrate. I should be back to a slightly more consistent schedule by February at the latest, when things have calmed down.
So, there's your update. Just so you know I'm not dead. *rolls away*
27.12.11
19.12.11
I managed to break a glass
at exactly midnight. I really liked that glass too. I'm sure there's something symbolic about all that but honestly I feel too awful to wonder about it right now.
I had one of my 'moments' too and didn't really register what happened until way after the fact. I don't know what this is... I know what my anxiety feels like and this isn't it. I'm suddenly starving, my hands are cold, I nearly fell and I just sat in the kitchen in the dark on the floor for almost ten minutes because really, how can I be that stupid?
But in the morning, I'll be fine. Because that's always how it works. I'm all right, really. I'm just a little... panicked.
(Short entry, I know but I just needed to vent a little bit.)
I had one of my 'moments' too and didn't really register what happened until way after the fact. I don't know what this is... I know what my anxiety feels like and this isn't it. I'm suddenly starving, my hands are cold, I nearly fell and I just sat in the kitchen in the dark on the floor for almost ten minutes because really, how can I be that stupid?
But in the morning, I'll be fine. Because that's always how it works. I'm all right, really. I'm just a little... panicked.
(Short entry, I know but I just needed to vent a little bit.)
17.12.11
A Case for Sociopathy
will likely be a title at some point.
Before then, however, I think I'll ramble and attempt to collect my thoughts.
Currently, the house is - as is so often the case - much too loud. This comes on the heels of a rather fitful night of confused dreams and hence makes itself much more obvious in the light of day.
Typically these nights will lend themselves to short stories and kick start my mind for the day but one in particular has left me confused.
The theme was simple in its construction: Love.
More accurately, love in an obsessive and dangerous way. It was Lovecraftian in its construction, first-person and yet narrated to me by something deep in my subconscious. I'm unsure as to the gender of the person I was seeing these events through but the sense of realism was very much there.
It was a small apartment, nice but not over-wrought, and there was a young man pacing near the windows. By the time my sleep-addled mind had caught up, we would have been several paragraphs in, with this man arriving during a rainstorm, soaked to the skin in his work clothes - which seemed to be something professional when contrasted with my own, which were much more informal.
He talked and I talked and we seemed to know each other well. Perhaps the product of long years of friendship. Whatever the reason, the trust seemed to be there.
It wasn't long before I fetched him a drink - simple coffee. There was something added then that I kept out of my own glass. The rest is a bit muddled and I'll have to sort through it from my own notes later but I am rather positive that something unfortunate happened to my dear friend.
The final scene is clear as it was just prior to my waking up. I (maybe 'he'?) was sitting on his bed, turning the thin wedding band his friend had worn around on his own finger. The room is dark but there is the sense of dawn around him - the red, sun-stained clouds hanging just outside the window. There are framed pieces on the wall in front of him where there were none before. They look familiar even though I can't quite place them ... but I remember the friend had several tattoos.
Needless to say, this has kept me confused for quite a while. I think I've managed to get a rough version of the events down now and I should be able to clean them up soon. 2012 becomes a year in which I'm looking more into magazines and the like for my work.
(For the record, I'm not sure why I'm typing like this. It just feels like the thing to do.)
Aside from that, not much has happened. Well, not much that's moved anything forward at least. My writing has hit a point where I just can't seem to care and most of my other projects are stalled on the sidelines for reasons unknown.
But, as always, I shall find a way to correct the situation. It shouldn't be too difficult. Simply a matter of actually taking that step off of the landing once in a while.
Before then, however, I think I'll ramble and attempt to collect my thoughts.
Currently, the house is - as is so often the case - much too loud. This comes on the heels of a rather fitful night of confused dreams and hence makes itself much more obvious in the light of day.
Typically these nights will lend themselves to short stories and kick start my mind for the day but one in particular has left me confused.
The theme was simple in its construction: Love.
More accurately, love in an obsessive and dangerous way. It was Lovecraftian in its construction, first-person and yet narrated to me by something deep in my subconscious. I'm unsure as to the gender of the person I was seeing these events through but the sense of realism was very much there.
It was a small apartment, nice but not over-wrought, and there was a young man pacing near the windows. By the time my sleep-addled mind had caught up, we would have been several paragraphs in, with this man arriving during a rainstorm, soaked to the skin in his work clothes - which seemed to be something professional when contrasted with my own, which were much more informal.
He talked and I talked and we seemed to know each other well. Perhaps the product of long years of friendship. Whatever the reason, the trust seemed to be there.
It wasn't long before I fetched him a drink - simple coffee. There was something added then that I kept out of my own glass. The rest is a bit muddled and I'll have to sort through it from my own notes later but I am rather positive that something unfortunate happened to my dear friend.
The final scene is clear as it was just prior to my waking up. I (maybe 'he'?) was sitting on his bed, turning the thin wedding band his friend had worn around on his own finger. The room is dark but there is the sense of dawn around him - the red, sun-stained clouds hanging just outside the window. There are framed pieces on the wall in front of him where there were none before. They look familiar even though I can't quite place them ... but I remember the friend had several tattoos.
Needless to say, this has kept me confused for quite a while. I think I've managed to get a rough version of the events down now and I should be able to clean them up soon. 2012 becomes a year in which I'm looking more into magazines and the like for my work.
(For the record, I'm not sure why I'm typing like this. It just feels like the thing to do.)
Aside from that, not much has happened. Well, not much that's moved anything forward at least. My writing has hit a point where I just can't seem to care and most of my other projects are stalled on the sidelines for reasons unknown.
But, as always, I shall find a way to correct the situation. It shouldn't be too difficult. Simply a matter of actually taking that step off of the landing once in a while.
5.12.11
New Theme
And just so you know, the small buttons at the bottom of the side panel there? They don't work right now. I'll probably figure them out later but for right now, they're fine as they are. I love Victorian stuff, guys, so this is really pretty to me.
Writing is slowly being fun again, so that's something good. Well, aside from the fact that I have no f-ing idea what I'm doing. But that's not something I should be focused on now, right? Right.
I think for the rest of the month I'll work on what I can when I can - meaning, I'll go through paragraph by paragraph and edit (and then get the other two chapters and the outline done) while I'm bouncing back and forth with other projects. I know that seems a little counter-productive but I've found I actually get more done when I'm multitasking.
Editing really means Rewriting this month. So I'm struggling a little with that. I've noticed that writing in first person is way easier for me but some stories that I want to do wouldn't work well with a single narrator. So that's going to be fun. All a writing exercise though, I guess.
YouTube changed and now it's weird. I don't have a search bar on anything but the first page and that first page is pretty much a cluttered mess. So I'm not exactly happy with it. But (much like losing the nose piece on one side of my glasses or not being sure if you want to shop around or go with your 'agent on retainer' as it were) it's a first world problem.
So yeah. There's your update. Hope you enjoyed it since it's pretty positive overall.
Writing is slowly being fun again, so that's something good. Well, aside from the fact that I have no f-ing idea what I'm doing. But that's not something I should be focused on now, right? Right.
I think for the rest of the month I'll work on what I can when I can - meaning, I'll go through paragraph by paragraph and edit (and then get the other two chapters and the outline done) while I'm bouncing back and forth with other projects. I know that seems a little counter-productive but I've found I actually get more done when I'm multitasking.
Editing really means Rewriting this month. So I'm struggling a little with that. I've noticed that writing in first person is way easier for me but some stories that I want to do wouldn't work well with a single narrator. So that's going to be fun. All a writing exercise though, I guess.
YouTube changed and now it's weird. I don't have a search bar on anything but the first page and that first page is pretty much a cluttered mess. So I'm not exactly happy with it. But (much like losing the nose piece on one side of my glasses or not being sure if you want to shop around or go with your 'agent on retainer' as it were) it's a first world problem.
So yeah. There's your update. Hope you enjoyed it since it's pretty positive overall.
30.11.11
Wow...
This was an ordeal. Not that it wasn't fun. It was insanely fun. But it was an ordeal.
And, for an awful few minutes this morning, I wondered if my keyboard was dead. No matter what keys I hit nothing worked. It's fine now (obviously) but it was scary.
In case you were wondering, I was spending time with my aunts these past two weeks and that's why I wasn't here. They're fun but they can be really tiring. They left for the airport a few hours ago and it's so quiet now. Weird. BUT. I don't have to sleep on a cot in the living room anymore!
So I'm working on getting some ideas fleshed out and I have a book to edit in December. That's the main project, since I can get the first three chapters and the outline done fairly quick if I'm on my game. I'd really like to make a run at this author thing come the new year. It sounds fun~
December also marks the kick off of GothNoWriYe and the Ink-Slinger's Ball. Party month! (Seriously, the people I meet are awesome.)
What else? Oh, yeah. I won NaNo! And I feel awesome (so much so that I know I'm over-using the word awesome and I don't actually care). It was late so I didn't have anyone awake to celebrate with me but that's okay. I managed to spell 'Arachnodactyly' right on the first try so I'm happy.
Now I can consult with my editorial fox Vulpes (and possibly Lord Emostabe) for editing. Yes, they have names. Deal with it. >.>
I think that's it so until something else Earth-shattering happens, bye for now guys~
And, for an awful few minutes this morning, I wondered if my keyboard was dead. No matter what keys I hit nothing worked. It's fine now (obviously) but it was scary.
In case you were wondering, I was spending time with my aunts these past two weeks and that's why I wasn't here. They're fun but they can be really tiring. They left for the airport a few hours ago and it's so quiet now. Weird. BUT. I don't have to sleep on a cot in the living room anymore!
So I'm working on getting some ideas fleshed out and I have a book to edit in December. That's the main project, since I can get the first three chapters and the outline done fairly quick if I'm on my game. I'd really like to make a run at this author thing come the new year. It sounds fun~
December also marks the kick off of GothNoWriYe and the Ink-Slinger's Ball. Party month! (Seriously, the people I meet are awesome.)
What else? Oh, yeah. I won NaNo! And I feel awesome (so much so that I know I'm over-using the word awesome and I don't actually care). It was late so I didn't have anyone awake to celebrate with me but that's okay. I managed to spell 'Arachnodactyly' right on the first try so I'm happy.
Now I can consult with my editorial fox Vulpes (and possibly Lord Emostabe) for editing. Yes, they have names. Deal with it. >.>
I think that's it so until something else Earth-shattering happens, bye for now guys~
18.11.11
I'm not dead!
But I'm very tired.
I have family over and that means it's six of us and four cats crammed into this house. I'm sleeping on a cot in the living room and Mum is sleeping on the couch. I wake up with cat hair all over me, I get distracted all the time by laughing and chatter, my appetite is way down... and I'm pretty happy about it all ^^
I have Grandma's two sisters in from Ohio and they've taken over mine and Mum's room so we're sleeping in the living room. They're loud and happy and I can tell they're all glad to see each other.
We managed to hide the fact that the other sister (Annie) was coming so Grandma was surprised... to say the least. She shuffled up behind the sister she knew was coming (Beth) and Grandma didn't even see her until she was standing right in front of her. Then it was something along the lines of 'asdfksdjHI!' and then her trying to be angry: 'You do this to me every time!' (since we tricked her last year too) and we all got to laugh and hug and be happy.
So they've been here for a couple days and we're all starting to adjust. They'll be here for about two weeks.
So that's where I'll be for a while.
NaNoWriMo, meanwhile, is... borked. I can catch up, of course. I'm not too worried about that. But I accidentally my word count >.>
And it's worse that I have so many ideas because I'm supposed to be working on one thing. Like, I don't need to be writing about Tiger and Bunny 'Behind the Scenes' like they're all actors. (Even though the thought of Yuri Petrov's actor being very ill and them not being sure he would be able to take the role as 'Lunatic' due to the physical demands of the role and then him showing up with Keith at the airport and getting a bear hug from the very happy Tiger is really awesome to me.)
So yeah... I'm going to go back to work for a while so I don't wind up scrambling so hard at the end. I'm still alive, though, I'm just very busy.
I have family over and that means it's six of us and four cats crammed into this house. I'm sleeping on a cot in the living room and Mum is sleeping on the couch. I wake up with cat hair all over me, I get distracted all the time by laughing and chatter, my appetite is way down... and I'm pretty happy about it all ^^
I have Grandma's two sisters in from Ohio and they've taken over mine and Mum's room so we're sleeping in the living room. They're loud and happy and I can tell they're all glad to see each other.
We managed to hide the fact that the other sister (Annie) was coming so Grandma was surprised... to say the least. She shuffled up behind the sister she knew was coming (Beth) and Grandma didn't even see her until she was standing right in front of her. Then it was something along the lines of 'asdfksdjHI!' and then her trying to be angry: 'You do this to me every time!' (since we tricked her last year too) and we all got to laugh and hug and be happy.
So they've been here for a couple days and we're all starting to adjust. They'll be here for about two weeks.
So that's where I'll be for a while.
NaNoWriMo, meanwhile, is... borked. I can catch up, of course. I'm not too worried about that. But I accidentally my word count >.>
And it's worse that I have so many ideas because I'm supposed to be working on one thing. Like, I don't need to be writing about Tiger and Bunny 'Behind the Scenes' like they're all actors. (Even though the thought of Yuri Petrov's actor being very ill and them not being sure he would be able to take the role as 'Lunatic' due to the physical demands of the role and then him showing up with Keith at the airport and getting a bear hug from the very happy Tiger is really awesome to me.)
So yeah... I'm going to go back to work for a while so I don't wind up scrambling so hard at the end. I'm still alive, though, I'm just very busy.
9.11.11
Okay... so...
I need to:
- get my ideas in order
- catch the hell up on NaNo
- stop being such a lonely puppy
So... what I'm going to do is push my word count a little higher and then curl up and read for a while.
Yeah.
I have a mattress-topper now (random) and I can actually, you know, sleep since it feels like a bed and not just a piece of fabric stretched over spring-coils. (It wasn't as bad as all that but still...)
NaNo is actually moving ahead. Isaac started the book by getting mauled by a wolf but he's better now so that's okay. It's been an experience on the forums too... people have been awesome, one person has ticked me off and overall it's been fun. I'd be getting a little more of the experience if I were actually going to the Write-Ins and all that but for this year, I'm fine with the forums I think.
I don't actually have a lot to say, I just wanted to assure you all that I am, in fact, not dead. I'm just very, very busy. Oh, and I get to take stuff down to the coffee shop for a craft festival tomorrow. That should be fun. I hope.
Oh and I got to spazz a little while ago because @WriterMichiBeck followed me on Twitter. *spazzing*
Seriously, that was about all I had for this one ^^;
Bye, guys. I will jump back on here when something else interesting happens.
*curls up* *means to work* *snore*
- get my ideas in order
- catch the hell up on NaNo
- stop being such a lonely puppy
So... what I'm going to do is push my word count a little higher and then curl up and read for a while.
Yeah.
I have a mattress-topper now (random) and I can actually, you know, sleep since it feels like a bed and not just a piece of fabric stretched over spring-coils. (It wasn't as bad as all that but still...)
NaNo is actually moving ahead. Isaac started the book by getting mauled by a wolf but he's better now so that's okay. It's been an experience on the forums too... people have been awesome, one person has ticked me off and overall it's been fun. I'd be getting a little more of the experience if I were actually going to the Write-Ins and all that but for this year, I'm fine with the forums I think.
I don't actually have a lot to say, I just wanted to assure you all that I am, in fact, not dead. I'm just very, very busy. Oh, and I get to take stuff down to the coffee shop for a craft festival tomorrow. That should be fun. I hope.
Oh and I got to spazz a little while ago because @WriterMichiBeck followed me on Twitter. *spazzing*
Seriously, that was about all I had for this one ^^;
Bye, guys. I will jump back on here when something else interesting happens.
*curls up* *means to work* *snore*
1.11.11
Part 2 - NANOWRIMO!
Good morning guys, it's Tuesday, November 1st which means it's the first day of NaNoWriMo!
As I type I'm sitting at my kitchen table with a veggie biscuit and thinking about my writing. As boring as that sounds, it's actually quite awesome as it's giving me a chance to come up with opening lines and think about projects I may be able to dump on my roommate.
Strangely enough, I'm not insanely amped like I was worried I'd be. Granted it's really early yet so that might change. Anyway...
There seems to a lot of tension around. There's just a lot of low-grade anger in the room. I can't really explain it. Also, my computer's doing that thing where I have to keep moving the mouse for the page to load. Annoying.
I'm clicking through the Aboptables forum on NaNo and looking for a kick-start. After writing around 13k yesterday, I'm a little... um... yeah that. Where your words aren't, um... good anymore?
Actually, I'm doing fairly well, all things considered. I actually like what I have on the page right now so that's reassuring. It has taken me all day of bouncing back and forth to write this post and for some reason, I've very tired right now. I think what I'll wind up doing is maybe eating something and then just going to bed. Everything's on my nerves right now.
You know what I actually want? Pasta. I don't know why, but pasta.
I wound up using the lid of my clothes hamper for storing my flower pens. It was an interesting solution, to say the least. I also have a lot of cupcakes to make still. And possibly cookies, if I'm not too drug out by then.
So that's were my life's at. And I'm going to go back to it now. Yeah.
...
See ya~
As I type I'm sitting at my kitchen table with a veggie biscuit and thinking about my writing. As boring as that sounds, it's actually quite awesome as it's giving me a chance to come up with opening lines and think about projects I may be able to dump on my roommate.
Strangely enough, I'm not insanely amped like I was worried I'd be. Granted it's really early yet so that might change. Anyway...
There seems to a lot of tension around. There's just a lot of low-grade anger in the room. I can't really explain it. Also, my computer's doing that thing where I have to keep moving the mouse for the page to load. Annoying.
I'm clicking through the Aboptables forum on NaNo and looking for a kick-start. After writing around 13k yesterday, I'm a little... um... yeah that. Where your words aren't, um... good anymore?
Actually, I'm doing fairly well, all things considered. I actually like what I have on the page right now so that's reassuring. It has taken me all day of bouncing back and forth to write this post and for some reason, I've very tired right now. I think what I'll wind up doing is maybe eating something and then just going to bed. Everything's on my nerves right now.
You know what I actually want? Pasta. I don't know why, but pasta.
I wound up using the lid of my clothes hamper for storing my flower pens. It was an interesting solution, to say the least. I also have a lot of cupcakes to make still. And possibly cookies, if I'm not too drug out by then.
So that's were my life's at. And I'm going to go back to it now. Yeah.
...
See ya~
30.10.11
Let's Play 'Writer's Life' - Part 1 - HIP-HOP ZOMBIES!
Yes, Hip-Hop Zombies - just one of the many things that have appeared in my notebook over the course of the past few days. They are apparently good at graffiti.
I think having this set up in parts, at least for a little while, will keep me a little more organised. It also gives you guys some idea about a part of the rambling the post will likely contain.
This time, I actually don't have much to say about Hip-Hop Zombies but the title is going to stay because it got your attention. Those titles will change based on what's going on, too, so you'll have a better idea.
It's Barnaby Brooks Jr.'s birthday tomorrow so in honor of that I'm making the pink cupcakes first. (Yeah. I'm totally celebrating a fictional character's birthday. Why not?)
I'm actually playing around mentally with the whole 'write like you talk' thing. I mean, I read through 'The Name of the Star' and it just seems... natural. I need to get there, I think. Stop worrying about sounding like a writer and just write. Of course that's way easier said than done.
This was really just a quick introduction post-thing before my life completely explodes. There's NaNoWriMo, the craft festival, people coming for the holidays... It's gonna be fun. And I'll be here to spazz and complain all the way through.
So I have about 5k left to do today and then I can go do what ever I want to for a while. This will probably involve watching Tiger and Bunny.
Now, I'm going to go back to work where I can hopefully stop hearing zombie hip-hop music in my head. It's... catchy. 0.o Makes me want to dance.
28.10.11
Lousy minor annoyances - My life sucks!
Good morning guys, it's Saturday October 29th which means I'm freaking out!
My notebook is a plot bunny trap. I mean I have so many notes on things now - and on like everything under the sun from vampires to mutants to robots. I love my notebook. But my brain is a scary place. 0.o
*sigh*
I'm not sure what the point of that was. I do know that it's really distracting me from writing on anything that counts toward a word count this month. That's a problem.
I think writing is probably my safest thing right now. Crochet gives me first degree burns on my fingers and the pens make me take skin off my hands.
So right now I'm recovering and skimming through tumblr for craft ideas (like I need any more). I've also been thinking about why we create things in the first place. I mean, sure it's fun and maybe we can even make some money at it but is there something more to it? Maybe we create things to get away from something that we know isn't quite right. Not to say that this is a bad thing at all.
I just want to feel better, I guess is what it all comes down to. And really depression can kill you of it's real depression and it's bad enough. There's not much worse than biting it from something preventable.
Before this gets too serious, I think my nickname should be 'Bunny'. Think about it - I project-hop like whoa, I keep wanting to put my hair in twin-tails (i.e. looking like long ears, like a rabbit's) and I'm even a vegetarian.
But, again, off-topic. I'm going to go and see if I can't get to at least 20k today. (OMGrell, why did I think I could handle all of this in the last few days? ;_; ) Even that is better than where I'm at right now.
So now, at almost two in the morning, I'm going to go write for a while.
See ya~!
My notebook is a plot bunny trap. I mean I have so many notes on things now - and on like everything under the sun from vampires to mutants to robots. I love my notebook. But my brain is a scary place. 0.o
*sigh*
I'm not sure what the point of that was. I do know that it's really distracting me from writing on anything that counts toward a word count this month. That's a problem.
I think writing is probably my safest thing right now. Crochet gives me first degree burns on my fingers and the pens make me take skin off my hands.
So right now I'm recovering and skimming through tumblr for craft ideas (like I need any more). I've also been thinking about why we create things in the first place. I mean, sure it's fun and maybe we can even make some money at it but is there something more to it? Maybe we create things to get away from something that we know isn't quite right. Not to say that this is a bad thing at all.
I just want to feel better, I guess is what it all comes down to. And really depression can kill you of it's real depression and it's bad enough. There's not much worse than biting it from something preventable.
Before this gets too serious, I think my nickname should be 'Bunny'. Think about it - I project-hop like whoa, I keep wanting to put my hair in twin-tails (i.e. looking like long ears, like a rabbit's) and I'm even a vegetarian.
But, again, off-topic. I'm going to go and see if I can't get to at least 20k today. (OMGrell, why did I think I could handle all of this in the last few days? ;_; ) Even that is better than where I'm at right now.
So now, at almost two in the morning, I'm going to go write for a while.
See ya~!
25.10.11
I just realised I write really long blog posts.
And I'm unapologetic about that fact.
Also, I'm really getting sentimental. Like insanely, sitting-here-crying sentimental over Harry Potter. More than that, I'm remembering when I used to read. Well, that's not quite right... I'm remembering when I used to not be afraid to jump into a new world. I want to get that magic back again...
I want the series I've just been playing with until now to recapture it. I want it to be something that, from the very beginning, dug its claws into your heart and mind and did not let go. And that is what I will strive for in every work I put my name on, from here on out. It will be nothing but my best... because anything less is not me.
So that's where my mind is at this un-Godly (for me) hour. It's like 8 in the morning and I'm considering just staying up today and working on my GothNo project considering I'm... rather behind.
And because of all of that, I fear I may have to spend the inaugural month of GothNoWriYe lurking on the boards as I edit in my writer's cage - which I'm thinking of making an actual thing once I get moved across the country...again.
Have I been working these past few days? Yes. Have I been working as hard as I should have been? No. And that is the problem. I have not been writing, I've been watching 'Tiger and Bunny', a show which I completely adore. (Barnaby Brooks Jr. is just... Wow. *fangirl*)
I have no discipline.
But I'm hoping to fix that. I really am. I'm sort of in a mood to do something awesome and I'm really hoping it lasts.
The lighter cupcakes are done at least. I can't see my desk because there's about 60 of them sitting there now. They're cute though - they're all fat and happy and yellow, white, blue and pink. But I'm actually really glad I can take a break from it for a day or so. I need to get back into the Gothic/Sci-Fi world I had for GothNo this year. It's a pretty awesome place.
I have a 6-page Word document filled with notes and titles and snatches of scenes. Why? Because I made the mistake of reading the 'Adopt A Title' thread on the NaNoWriMo forums. That place is a plot bunny breeding ground and I now have enough ideas to last for... a while, let's just put it that way.
I get the feeling I could be really dangerous if I'd just stop getting distracted by everything. I mean, I want to do something grand. I really do. I just have to jump in.
I'm thinking I might read back through this blog and see if I made any sense in any of these posts. That's probably a bad idea, isn't it? *goes to do it anyway*
Yeah... I lol'd and noticed a few typos. And lol'd at the typos, so we're all good. But I actually made myself laugh... that's so weird. 0.o
I'm gonna get back to what I should have been working on all month now. See ya~!
Also, I'm really getting sentimental. Like insanely, sitting-here-crying sentimental over Harry Potter. More than that, I'm remembering when I used to read. Well, that's not quite right... I'm remembering when I used to not be afraid to jump into a new world. I want to get that magic back again...
I want the series I've just been playing with until now to recapture it. I want it to be something that, from the very beginning, dug its claws into your heart and mind and did not let go. And that is what I will strive for in every work I put my name on, from here on out. It will be nothing but my best... because anything less is not me.
So that's where my mind is at this un-Godly (for me) hour. It's like 8 in the morning and I'm considering just staying up today and working on my GothNo project considering I'm... rather behind.
And because of all of that, I fear I may have to spend the inaugural month of GothNoWriYe lurking on the boards as I edit in my writer's cage - which I'm thinking of making an actual thing once I get moved across the country...again.
Have I been working these past few days? Yes. Have I been working as hard as I should have been? No. And that is the problem. I have not been writing, I've been watching 'Tiger and Bunny', a show which I completely adore. (Barnaby Brooks Jr. is just... Wow. *fangirl*)
I have no discipline.
But I'm hoping to fix that. I really am. I'm sort of in a mood to do something awesome and I'm really hoping it lasts.
The lighter cupcakes are done at least. I can't see my desk because there's about 60 of them sitting there now. They're cute though - they're all fat and happy and yellow, white, blue and pink. But I'm actually really glad I can take a break from it for a day or so. I need to get back into the Gothic/Sci-Fi world I had for GothNo this year. It's a pretty awesome place.
I have a 6-page Word document filled with notes and titles and snatches of scenes. Why? Because I made the mistake of reading the 'Adopt A Title' thread on the NaNoWriMo forums. That place is a plot bunny breeding ground and I now have enough ideas to last for... a while, let's just put it that way.
I get the feeling I could be really dangerous if I'd just stop getting distracted by everything. I mean, I want to do something grand. I really do. I just have to jump in.
I'm thinking I might read back through this blog and see if I made any sense in any of these posts. That's probably a bad idea, isn't it? *goes to do it anyway*
Yeah... I lol'd and noticed a few typos. And lol'd at the typos, so we're all good. But I actually made myself laugh... that's so weird. 0.o
I'm gonna get back to what I should have been working on all month now. See ya~!
19.10.11
I...
am officially 19 years old.
Awesome.
And right now I'm listening to this which is so nice, I can't even... I miss rain. I <3 this site.
So what happened? Well, mum and I went to the Gulfarium in town so I got to see the dolphins. I love dolphins - they're so rubbery. Oh, and a bird walked on my arm. It was a cockatoo - one of those big white birds with the yellow feathers on its head. His name was Chester. He walked up and down my arm, turned his head WAY sideways and said hello a couple of times. Cute~
We just killed some time at the mall after that (I got a cherry Icee and a big ol' pretzel). And I got Maureen Johnson's 'The Name of The Star' and I spazzed a little. Oh, and this:
With this inside:
If you can't tell, I'm totally the first story in there. (I know it's alphabetical - I don't care.) It has some minor formatting problems and I'm not sure it's really my best work but I still love it beyond reason, so I think we're good ^^
My crafts are stressing me out. I've been wearing a bandage so much when I crochet that even five cupcakes (just the frosting) and I'm taking skin off my fingers. Ick. But I will press on. Because I have to get these freaking things done before the festival.
I've also been killing time with a sledgehammer on tumblr. Which is not good considering I have plot bunnies to take care of. And my editorial fox is pacing his cage, waiting for December. (It's okay, Vulpes. I'll take you out of there soon, honey.)
Yes, I totally did just type-talk to a figment of my deranged imagination. Moving on...
I hate to say this here, where everything's kind of random and informal but I think I'm slowly figuring myself out. And that, my friends, is a wonderful feeling. What I haven't figured out yet is what to do with my site. I mean, I kind of like it as-is but I'm wondering if breaking things up by genre might be easier. Of course then what about cross-genre or things I can't catagorise? I don't know. I'll figure it out eventually. There's also this blog right here. I'm wondering about the theme. (I'll probably keep it - I'm just wondering about it.)
This is going to be a long post, I think.
I made a new friend. (Well, kind of. She's an internet writer friend.) But we met at GothNo and we've been talking over at deviantArt. So that's awesome. I like friends like that.
Speaking of GothNo... I love it. And I'm having trouble deciding what my proof copy for NaNo should be - my GothNo project or my actual NaNo project. Both are just so awesome (and I'm really using that word a lot, aren't I?) that I can't really pick. GothNo is so dark though... Oh well. It's a ways away still anyway.
My tattoo is healing and it itches like crazy. So yeah. I'm typing mainly so I don't scratch.
Before this rambles into a wall, I think I'm going to go and try to work a little more. I need to catch up my word count, catch up my crafts and try to plan a little for NaNo.
Bye for now, guys and girls~
Awesome.
And right now I'm listening to this which is so nice, I can't even... I miss rain. I <3 this site.
So what happened? Well, mum and I went to the Gulfarium in town so I got to see the dolphins. I love dolphins - they're so rubbery. Oh, and a bird walked on my arm. It was a cockatoo - one of those big white birds with the yellow feathers on its head. His name was Chester. He walked up and down my arm, turned his head WAY sideways and said hello a couple of times. Cute~
We just killed some time at the mall after that (I got a cherry Icee and a big ol' pretzel). And I got Maureen Johnson's 'The Name of The Star' and I spazzed a little. Oh, and this:
With this inside:
If you can't tell, I'm totally the first story in there. (I know it's alphabetical - I don't care.) It has some minor formatting problems and I'm not sure it's really my best work but I still love it beyond reason, so I think we're good ^^
My crafts are stressing me out. I've been wearing a bandage so much when I crochet that even five cupcakes (just the frosting) and I'm taking skin off my fingers. Ick. But I will press on. Because I have to get these freaking things done before the festival.
I've also been killing time with a sledgehammer on tumblr. Which is not good considering I have plot bunnies to take care of. And my editorial fox is pacing his cage, waiting for December. (It's okay, Vulpes. I'll take you out of there soon, honey.)
Yes, I totally did just type-talk to a figment of my deranged imagination. Moving on...
I hate to say this here, where everything's kind of random and informal but I think I'm slowly figuring myself out. And that, my friends, is a wonderful feeling. What I haven't figured out yet is what to do with my site. I mean, I kind of like it as-is but I'm wondering if breaking things up by genre might be easier. Of course then what about cross-genre or things I can't catagorise? I don't know. I'll figure it out eventually. There's also this blog right here. I'm wondering about the theme. (I'll probably keep it - I'm just wondering about it.)
This is going to be a long post, I think.
I made a new friend. (Well, kind of. She's an internet writer friend.) But we met at GothNo and we've been talking over at deviantArt. So that's awesome. I like friends like that.
Speaking of GothNo... I love it. And I'm having trouble deciding what my proof copy for NaNo should be - my GothNo project or my actual NaNo project. Both are just so awesome (and I'm really using that word a lot, aren't I?) that I can't really pick. GothNo is so dark though... Oh well. It's a ways away still anyway.
My tattoo is healing and it itches like crazy. So yeah. I'm typing mainly so I don't scratch.
Before this rambles into a wall, I think I'm going to go and try to work a little more. I need to catch up my word count, catch up my crafts and try to plan a little for NaNo.
Bye for now, guys and girls~
13.10.11
I write like...
Apparently.
Score.
No, that's pretty cool actually. I hadn't heard of him before but he seems cool. Of course that depends on what you're analysing too. I mean my GothNo Novel got me James Joyce, both SciFiWriMo and a completed short story (the one in Milestone) got me him, the NaNo outline got me Chuck Palahniuk, the first chapter of my first book got me William Gibson and a romance novella got me Gertrude Stein.
Still cool.
Also, I have a new tattoo and that's making it a little hard to type seeing as it's on the back of my hand. But it's still awesome. A lot of things are awesome if you know how to look at them.
The artist offered up a free werewolf tattoo. Now that I'm home and thinking about it... I really want a werewolf. I know it would hurt but it was so cool-looking and it fit my style and free (when its something you actually want) is always good.
But if I obsess then the next time I go down there, the offer will be off the table and then I'll be sad. And that's not a good place to be either. Annoying but I'm actually kind of kicking myself over it. I'm not even sure why, I just really want the werewolf.
Huh.
Okay, I need to read and then go to sleep so my hand can heal and hopefully not stick to the sheets. I'm gonna try to jump back on GothNo a little more tomorrow (if I can type). Bye~
9.10.11
Apparently,
My camera doesn't record audio. That sucks. Because I can't vlog. Well, I can, you just won't be able to see/hear me, depending on what I do. Which is fine for a while but what if I want to show off? It also records in a file type that I can't edit in WMM so no edits, no intro... it's just really disappointing.
Oh, well. I'll figure out something. I always do. Maybe I can record the audio track with Audacity? *thinking out loud*
BUT. Upside. I did manage to get a few pictures for you guys. Like this one of the whole GothNo cake (minus the bottom tier because it's not done yet)...
And this one of the topper...
And this one of the Skull Groom, Ichabod, and his orange-banded top hat ^^
Isn't it cool? I think it's cool.
But then again, I'm prone to thinking odd things are cool. Like to me bug-eyed zombie dogs are cool (and really cute).
What else? That was really all I coherently had for this one. Just wanted to show off the cake, really. Oh and I keep getting compliments on my little excerpts on the GothNo site and I'm like *looks around* Really? I don't suck? Have you ever heard the old robot saying 'Does not compute'?
But apparently people like me. And that's pretty awesome. I like things that are awesome.
If you haven't noticed the top bar on this blog (the one that says 'on my site', 'on LiveJournal', 'on the forums' and 'on tumblr') please to be noticing it now. Those are links. They go awesome places. There will eventually be an 'on YouTube' thing if I can get the camera situation worked out.
obeyalice has been updated with the NaNo project title under 'Works in Progress'. Notice that it's a series. Yes, I really do plan this far ahead. I don't mean to; it just happens.
I've gotten a lot more social since I started writing more, you know? It's weird. I'm... chatty about things. I've never been chatty before. I've never wanted to vlog or make things before. Now there are all these ideas in my head. I kind of love it ^.^
So, yeah. I'm going to go and think over a few things for NaNo and that party we're planning over at Arrow of Eloquence (which I'll spazz about here later, don't you worry).
I still have stuff to make for the festival (which I wanted to record for at least a few minutes. ACK). But that needs to get done. The GothNo community is really good at keeping me afloat, though and I'm really grateful for them. *mental hugs*
And I need to wrap this up so,
Bai-bai, DEATH~
(^^^^ If you get this reference, I <3 you. Just sayin')
Oh, well. I'll figure out something. I always do. Maybe I can record the audio track with Audacity? *thinking out loud*
BUT. Upside. I did manage to get a few pictures for you guys. Like this one of the whole GothNo cake (minus the bottom tier because it's not done yet)...
And this one of the topper...
And this one of the Skull Groom, Ichabod, and his orange-banded top hat ^^
Isn't it cool? I think it's cool.
But then again, I'm prone to thinking odd things are cool. Like to me bug-eyed zombie dogs are cool (and really cute).
What else? That was really all I coherently had for this one. Just wanted to show off the cake, really. Oh and I keep getting compliments on my little excerpts on the GothNo site and I'm like *looks around* Really? I don't suck? Have you ever heard the old robot saying 'Does not compute'?
But apparently people like me. And that's pretty awesome. I like things that are awesome.
If you haven't noticed the top bar on this blog (the one that says 'on my site', 'on LiveJournal', 'on the forums' and 'on tumblr') please to be noticing it now. Those are links. They go awesome places. There will eventually be an 'on YouTube' thing if I can get the camera situation worked out.
obeyalice has been updated with the NaNo project title under 'Works in Progress'. Notice that it's a series. Yes, I really do plan this far ahead. I don't mean to; it just happens.
I've gotten a lot more social since I started writing more, you know? It's weird. I'm... chatty about things. I've never been chatty before. I've never wanted to vlog or make things before. Now there are all these ideas in my head. I kind of love it ^.^
So, yeah. I'm going to go and think over a few things for NaNo and that party we're planning over at Arrow of Eloquence (which I'll spazz about here later, don't you worry).
I still have stuff to make for the festival (which I wanted to record for at least a few minutes. ACK). But that needs to get done. The GothNo community is really good at keeping me afloat, though and I'm really grateful for them. *mental hugs*
And I need to wrap this up so,
Bai-bai, DEATH~
(^^^^ If you get this reference, I <3 you. Just sayin')
7.10.11
I've failed you...
Not with SeptNo. I totally 'ownificated' SetpNo (by typing out around 14 thousand words in a single day, but let's not get into that).
I said I'd be back before the end of the month. And I totally failed at that. BUT. I have something funny for you all this time. (And actually funny not just 'Jezzy's stressed and sleep-deprived' funny.)
"Mom? CAPTCHA's being gross."
I had to screencap it because seriously? XD
So that made me feel better. That and the fact that I was called 'prolific' to-day. That also made me realise that I could split my work up into the following genres: LGBT, Romance, Gothic, Horror, Sci-Fi, Parody and Children, Nonfiction and Historical. I would have a mini-library. That's a pretty good range, I'd think.
Oh, and I get to do the GothNo pep talk emails as a guest this year. Is it weird that I feel like I've 'made it', in some small sense of the phrase?
I'm killing time on YouTube, yes, but I'm crocheting while I'm watching pointless things and listening while I'm watching pointful things. And no 'pointful' is totally not a word, in case you were wondering.
I figured out I can get up, write for a while, read for a while, take a break to eat, read for a while, work on an outline (this time for NaNoWriMo), then crochet for a while before bed. Probably would have worked better if I'd actually stuck to it but the basics were there to-day, so that's something.
I've also taken to hyphenating 'today'. Not sure why. Might have something to do with GothNo.
So, I need to get back to work on... something. Anything, really. Now... I must eat all these explosives. Wait, what? No. I must organise things and go back to work. See? This is what happens when I just ramble on, yammering about pointless things in a way-too-long blog post. Yamble? I 'yamble' about things a lot.
But I'm going to stop for now and let you get back to your life, which I'm sure is much more interesting than mine. Bye~ *flails back to Word document*
I said I'd be back before the end of the month. And I totally failed at that. BUT. I have something funny for you all this time. (And actually funny not just 'Jezzy's stressed and sleep-deprived' funny.)
"Mom? CAPTCHA's being gross."
I had to screencap it because seriously? XD
So that made me feel better. That and the fact that I was called 'prolific' to-day. That also made me realise that I could split my work up into the following genres: LGBT, Romance, Gothic, Horror, Sci-Fi, Parody and Children, Nonfiction and Historical. I would have a mini-library. That's a pretty good range, I'd think.
Oh, and I get to do the GothNo pep talk emails as a guest this year. Is it weird that I feel like I've 'made it', in some small sense of the phrase?
I'm killing time on YouTube, yes, but I'm crocheting while I'm watching pointless things and listening while I'm watching pointful things. And no 'pointful' is totally not a word, in case you were wondering.
I figured out I can get up, write for a while, read for a while, take a break to eat, read for a while, work on an outline (this time for NaNoWriMo), then crochet for a while before bed. Probably would have worked better if I'd actually stuck to it but the basics were there to-day, so that's something.
I've also taken to hyphenating 'today'. Not sure why. Might have something to do with GothNo.
So, I need to get back to work on... something. Anything, really. Now... I must eat all these explosives. Wait, what? No. I must organise things and go back to work. See? This is what happens when I just ramble on, yammering about pointless things in a way-too-long blog post. Yamble? I 'yamble' about things a lot.
But I'm going to stop for now and let you get back to your life, which I'm sure is much more interesting than mine. Bye~ *flails back to Word document*
23.9.11
Gentlemen...Behold! (or UPDATE OF POINTLESSNESS)
An Aqua Teen Hunger Force reference!
Seriously, behold: Milestone on Amazon.
*for simplicity's sake, the wall of unintelligible spazzing has been removed. The keyboard is recovering in a local repair shop after an attack of projectile vomiting.*
In other news... I am a horrible person. Now let me explain that. I say that jokingly because I just realised that pretty much every story has had some horrible crime committed in it. Here's the current list (not all from the same story, obviously) :
Theft, Motor vehicle theft, Assault, Assaulting an officer, Felony battery, Criminal mischief, Disorderly conduct, Stalking, Contributing to the delinquency of a minor, Prostitution, Drug trafficking, Rape, Unlawful hacking, Hacking into a government database, Conspiracy, Sedition, Murder in the first and second degree, Serial murder, Torture, Treason, Carrying illegal weapons, Crossing territories without authorisation, Preforming illegal experiments, Practicing medicine without a license (or with an expired/invalid license) and Cannibalism.
I am a horrible person. But in a sense that's a good thing for a writer to be. It makes for an interesting story, if nothing else. Of course, this list is nowhere near complete, I'm sure, but it's good enough for now.
Also, I'm sorry about disappearing like that. I'm just flat-out bad about updating things ^^; I kind of need someone to staple an update schedule to my forehead or something. But don't actually do that. Because that would be very painful.
Thank you,
Jezzy
Did I lose track of where I was going with all that? I most certainly did.
Back on topic, I'm panicking over SeptNo. I'm not even at 20k as of this writing. And that needs to be fixed, like now. Problem is that my brain won't stop spewing out other ideas. I'm glad for them, sure but it means I'm not getting anything done on SeptNo and that stresses me out. On the upside, the crochet cupcakes are coming along a lot faster than I thought they would. This is making me happy. I can't even see like half of my desk thanks to all the baking cups.
I, right now, am going to type until I'm some degree of caught up. Cole is frustrating me and Morgan is keeping secrets so this could get interesting. I shall return... some day. Before the end of the month. With cupcakes. *rolls away*
15.9.11
W00T~!
is the word I use to describe this.
That, my friends, is the AugNoWriMo 2011 Anthology up for sale on CreateSpace. And I'm in it.
So, as I said before, W00T~! (And it should also be up on Amazon in 1-2 weeks.)
I am insanely nervous. I know it's not really that big of a deal but it's still awesome so I'm still going to spazz about it. A lot. In my head so I don't annoy you all.
*spazz dance*
That, my friends, is the AugNoWriMo 2011 Anthology up for sale on CreateSpace. And I'm in it.
So, as I said before, W00T~! (And it should also be up on Amazon in 1-2 weeks.)
I am insanely nervous. I know it's not really that big of a deal but it's still awesome so I'm still going to spazz about it. A lot. In my head so I don't annoy you all.
*spazz dance*
7.9.11
Neuro~Neko
MOAR PROCRASTINATION!
I really need to get back on my writing (and craft making) but between playing around on icanhazcheezburger, changing the Firefox theme, playing with add-ons, playing on forums and listening to music, I just don't know when I'll find the time.
Yeah. You're not buying that either, huh?
Okay. Here's manly what distracted me. There is a company called 'neurowear'. They make awesome things. Like, sci-fi awesome things. One awesome thing is these motorised cat ears on a headband. What makes these so awesome is that the little plastic(?) bit that rests against your forehead reads the neural activity in your brain and that tells the ears what to do (like, lie down when you're relaxed, stand up when you're concentrating, etc.).
It's just this awesome blend of fashion, technology and communication ^^ Here's a video.
Isn't she cute? Plus the ears look so adorable~ I think this is the kind of thing I'd wear all the time just for the awesome factor! /nerdgasm
Neuro~Nyan~!
*****
In other still-awesome-but-not-quite-so-awesome news, my doughnuts are almost done! *dances* And I've started listening to psychology lectures on UC Berkeley's YouTube channel. Time for psychologically damaged characters! (Wow, there's a lot of protein and awesome stuff in a soy burger - WOO!) *skips away, bouncy and plotting how to make enough money to get cat ears*
I really need to get back on my writing (and craft making) but between playing around on icanhazcheezburger, changing the Firefox theme, playing with add-ons, playing on forums and listening to music, I just don't know when I'll find the time.
Yeah. You're not buying that either, huh?
Okay. Here's manly what distracted me. There is a company called 'neurowear'. They make awesome things. Like, sci-fi awesome things. One awesome thing is these motorised cat ears on a headband. What makes these so awesome is that the little plastic(?) bit that rests against your forehead reads the neural activity in your brain and that tells the ears what to do (like, lie down when you're relaxed, stand up when you're concentrating, etc.).
It's just this awesome blend of fashion, technology and communication ^^ Here's a video.
Isn't she cute? Plus the ears look so adorable~ I think this is the kind of thing I'd wear all the time just for the awesome factor! /nerdgasm
Neuro~Nyan~!
*****
In other still-awesome-but-not-quite-so-awesome news, my doughnuts are almost done! *dances* And I've started listening to psychology lectures on UC Berkeley's YouTube channel. Time for psychologically damaged characters! (Wow, there's a lot of protein and awesome stuff in a soy burger - WOO!) *skips away, bouncy and plotting how to make enough money to get cat ears*
2.9.11
Just posted...have to post again...
I want to go the Night of Writing Dangerously so much this year that it's causing me physical pain and several tears. I'm almost crying right now... That's probably not healthy. But it looks so fun...such an adventure.
I really just had to post to get that out. We'll be in a lot of chaos with the move coming up and unless I drag my mother along (which I couldn't/wouldn't do because she doesn't fly) I'd have to go by myself. All the way to San Fransisco. When I've never travelled before. Granted, there are people around here and I could probably find someone to go with but I know they'd all worry.
It's probably stupid to want to go so badly...but I can't really explain why it seems to mean so much. I think it might be that the news came down today, when I've already been kind of sensitive. My birthday's next month. I'm not sure why that's such a big deal but something about that fact has been on my mind for the last few hours. We have a good day planned, I have gifts to beg for and all in all I think it'll be fun. So why do I feel almost afraid?
I really just had to post to get that out. We'll be in a lot of chaos with the move coming up and unless I drag my mother along (which I couldn't/wouldn't do because she doesn't fly) I'd have to go by myself. All the way to San Fransisco. When I've never travelled before. Granted, there are people around here and I could probably find someone to go with but I know they'd all worry.
It's probably stupid to want to go so badly...but I can't really explain why it seems to mean so much. I think it might be that the news came down today, when I've already been kind of sensitive. My birthday's next month. I'm not sure why that's such a big deal but something about that fact has been on my mind for the last few hours. We have a good day planned, I have gifts to beg for and all in all I think it'll be fun. So why do I feel almost afraid?
I did it... I did it! *insane laughter*
And here is the reason I've been MIA for a few days: I just wrote 100,000 words in thirty-one days. And I get to be in Milestone this year. *squee!*
As such I'm a little insane at the moment. That should clear up to tolerable levels within the next few days, though. I'm also really ADD right now so this post is probably going to take me a few hours to get through.
I think I broke my ear buds...again. I need to just stop using them since I can never keep them intact for some reason. I need to write (or at least edit) but I keep getting sidetracked by anime and Slenderman stuff. It's sparking all kinds of ideas in my little caffeine-addled brain.
Also, Maureen Johnson is on my list of authors to read now.
And I'm totally rambling when I need to be working. Oh, well. To my renamed version of Word! *runs away*
As such I'm a little insane at the moment. That should clear up to tolerable levels within the next few days, though. I'm also really ADD right now so this post is probably going to take me a few hours to get through.
I think I broke my ear buds...again. I need to just stop using them since I can never keep them intact for some reason. I need to write (or at least edit) but I keep getting sidetracked by anime and Slenderman stuff. It's sparking all kinds of ideas in my little caffeine-addled brain.
Also, Maureen Johnson is on my list of authors to read now.
And I'm totally rambling when I need to be working. Oh, well. To my renamed version of Word! *runs away*
30.8.11
I think Blogger glitched.
If the last post just showed up, it was a glitch. It was posted on the 26th. I really don't know what happened there. It showed up fine for me. Weird.
Anyway, things have been going okay here. No major issues or anything. My sleep schedule is still weird but it's getting back around to how I want it to be. I've been finding bands off of Jamendo that I adore, so that's awesome, too.
Just not much has been happening lately, I guess. I know I'll spazz all over the place once September starts since 50k will feel like nothing after this.
Things feel a little weird today. A little closed off and bunched up, I guess. I wonder if taking a shower tonight would help? #pointlessmusing
Anyway, things have been going okay here. No major issues or anything. My sleep schedule is still weird but it's getting back around to how I want it to be. I've been finding bands off of Jamendo that I adore, so that's awesome, too.
Just not much has been happening lately, I guess. I know I'll spazz all over the place once September starts since 50k will feel like nothing after this.
Things feel a little weird today. A little closed off and bunched up, I guess. I wonder if taking a shower tonight would help? #pointlessmusing
26.8.11
Well, I feel awful.
And I'm not sure why. I was sitting out at the kitchen table for a while but I can back into my room after about an hour or so. I feel a little better in here, at least.
AugNo story is sent to 'beta reader roommate' and I'm just hoping it's fixable right now and that I don't suck as bad as I think I do. (I'm not good with the whole self-esteem thing right now.) Aside from that not much has happened. I want to start with short stories a little more aggressively and I have a list of horror and sci-fi mags that I can send to.
Things just feel weird for me today. I think I just need to curl up in the dark and write for a while. I have too many ideas in my head most of the time... At least Camp NaNo is at about 40k. That helps a little ^^
I'll try and update this again when I'm a little less 'I hate you go die' about things. Thankfully, these moods don't seem to last too long, overall.
AugNo story is sent to 'beta reader roommate' and I'm just hoping it's fixable right now and that I don't suck as bad as I think I do. (I'm not good with the whole self-esteem thing right now.) Aside from that not much has happened. I want to start with short stories a little more aggressively and I have a list of horror and sci-fi mags that I can send to.
Things just feel weird for me today. I think I just need to curl up in the dark and write for a while. I have too many ideas in my head most of the time... At least Camp NaNo is at about 40k. That helps a little ^^
I'll try and update this again when I'm a little less 'I hate you go die' about things. Thankfully, these moods don't seem to last too long, overall.
21.8.11
To Whom it May Concern,
if I drop off the internet for a while, there's a good reason this time.
Grandparents just took Sick Kitty to the vet. I don't expect her back. I snapped at my roommate for crying (well, for apologising for 'bothering me' with her crying) and now I feel sick. It's not like it doesn't hurt. It hurts like Hell. I just get sick of crying like a little girl. But that's probably not healthy. I guess I'm just trying to block everything out again. I don't know. My mind is an odd place for a lot of reasons.
I'll come back once things have settled down a little.
Grandparents just took Sick Kitty to the vet. I don't expect her back. I snapped at my roommate for crying (well, for apologising for 'bothering me' with her crying) and now I feel sick. It's not like it doesn't hurt. It hurts like Hell. I just get sick of crying like a little girl. But that's probably not healthy. I guess I'm just trying to block everything out again. I don't know. My mind is an odd place for a lot of reasons.
I'll come back once things have settled down a little.
19.8.11
Hello again...
and I do apologise for disappearing like that.
Things seem to be going well and I'm just constantly on edge right now because of that. I don't want it to go away, you know? My sleep schedule should probably be dragging me out and making me really tired but it's not. I actually feel a little better.
Karen (friend of mine) has kind of disappeared off the face of the internet map but that happens to her when something good happens too, so I'm not that worried. She just can't seem to keep things up to date... Poor thing.
Otherwise, things are going decently. I'm a little tired but a part of me wants to go get lunch at the little coffee shop we go to sometimes. Not sure what I'll do just yet. I keep thinking about the coleslaw wraps they have but I'm just so lazy. :/ AugNo anthology story has the first draft down, so that's awesome. Only now I have to edit. Blegh.
What else? Oh yeah, I only have three more doughnuts to make (in the first colour). I'm disproportionately happy about that. ^^ Aside from simple things (like changing my window glass colour to red, making my room look like a post-apocalyptic wasteland just by closing the (red) curtains and having a really awesome (destroyed city) desktop background) nothing much is going on.
So, yeah. I will now return to writing down whatever pops into my head in an effort to boost my word count. Bai-bai~
Things seem to be going well and I'm just constantly on edge right now because of that. I don't want it to go away, you know? My sleep schedule should probably be dragging me out and making me really tired but it's not. I actually feel a little better.
Karen (friend of mine) has kind of disappeared off the face of the internet map but that happens to her when something good happens too, so I'm not that worried. She just can't seem to keep things up to date... Poor thing.
Otherwise, things are going decently. I'm a little tired but a part of me wants to go get lunch at the little coffee shop we go to sometimes. Not sure what I'll do just yet. I keep thinking about the coleslaw wraps they have but I'm just so lazy. :/ AugNo anthology story has the first draft down, so that's awesome. Only now I have to edit. Blegh.
What else? Oh yeah, I only have three more doughnuts to make (in the first colour). I'm disproportionately happy about that. ^^ Aside from simple things (like changing my window glass colour to red, making my room look like a post-apocalyptic wasteland just by closing the (red) curtains and having a really awesome (destroyed city) desktop background) nothing much is going on.
So, yeah. I will now return to writing down whatever pops into my head in an effort to boost my word count. Bai-bai~
15.8.11
In the interest of undoing damage...
sounds like a chapter title. But it isn't. At least not yet. It could be.
But really this is to just kind of clear things up. That last post was written from a very dark place in my mind. That's the part I try to shut out as much as I can. I'm not usually so depressed as all that. In fact things feel a little better today. (Well, not physically since my shoulders are in knots and I have a headache but emotionally...)
I don't want anyone to worry about me over this, all right? I'm okay, I promise ^^ I have peanut butter and jelly crackers - how can I be sad? ^^
Anyway, back to your regularly scheduled blog.
I'm on a site called 750words. It is awesome. This is fact. :| No, but it's pretty cool. The goal is to write 750 words every day. It can be on anything. It can be a section of a story, it can be a journal, whatever you want as long as you write. Once you write for long enough, you can get to all kinds of stats on how you did and what your average moods are (I think it goes by key words or something like that). Thanks to it, I know I type around 35 words a minute 8D
My craft stuff is coming along. I can make quite a few doughnuts at once if I'm really focused on it. I'll have to check how much yarn I have though since I've gone through a skein already.
The writing's actually going a lot better now. I'm staying on pace and hence not panicking nearly as much as I used to. Since I've been playing around with Minecraft classic (which is a total time-suck, I promise you), I actually feel a little better about the worlds I'm writing for. I feel like I can see them much more clearly if I have some kind of mock-up to look over and wander through.
I'm at almost 50k total this month. *half-way point party*
And what else? Nothing? Oh... well, then. I will see you all a little later then and I hope you have a wonderful day.
But really this is to just kind of clear things up. That last post was written from a very dark place in my mind. That's the part I try to shut out as much as I can. I'm not usually so depressed as all that. In fact things feel a little better today. (Well, not physically since my shoulders are in knots and I have a headache but emotionally...)
I don't want anyone to worry about me over this, all right? I'm okay, I promise ^^ I have peanut butter and jelly crackers - how can I be sad? ^^
Anyway, back to your regularly scheduled blog.
I'm on a site called 750words. It is awesome. This is fact. :| No, but it's pretty cool. The goal is to write 750 words every day. It can be on anything. It can be a section of a story, it can be a journal, whatever you want as long as you write. Once you write for long enough, you can get to all kinds of stats on how you did and what your average moods are (I think it goes by key words or something like that). Thanks to it, I know I type around 35 words a minute 8D
My craft stuff is coming along. I can make quite a few doughnuts at once if I'm really focused on it. I'll have to check how much yarn I have though since I've gone through a skein already.
The writing's actually going a lot better now. I'm staying on pace and hence not panicking nearly as much as I used to. Since I've been playing around with Minecraft classic (which is a total time-suck, I promise you), I actually feel a little better about the worlds I'm writing for. I feel like I can see them much more clearly if I have some kind of mock-up to look over and wander through.
I'm at almost 50k total this month. *half-way point party*
And what else? Nothing? Oh... well, then. I will see you all a little later then and I hope you have a wonderful day.
14.8.11
WHARGARBL!!
Yes. That's about what it's been like the past few days.
I've mainly been in a state of 'Everyone! I just... I hate everyone!' for the past few days. I'm not sure where it came from but I really wish it would leave. My sleep schedule is completely effed up and I'm actually thinking of going back to bed. (The problem with that? It's not even freaking noon!) On the upside (I guess) it is making me work on my craft stuff a little more. I have 26 crochet doughnuts sitting on my desk waiting for icing right now. My writing's staying basically on track too.
It's annoying that these moods of total abject piss-off tend to spark my brain in a lot of ways. They make me feel awful otherwise so it's actually not much of a trade off, I don't think. It's not that I don't want to be creative. I love being creative. It's just that I wish I didn't have to be so angry to really tap into it.
Internally, I've basically been like this for the last few days: Seems this is how it feels to be creative. But I hate how this feels. I hate not being able to sleep. I hate panicking. I hate crying. I hate getting close to people... and I hate feeling alone. So a part of me doesn't want this anymore. But I hate that at the same time. It's all such a mess! I don't want to be 'normal'. I don't want the part of me that's 'me' in that sense to just disappear like that. So I don't want to acknowledge it. If I don't then it never has the chance to leave. It will never have the chance to grow and change and learn to fly. If it doesn't learn, then it can never leave me. I'm terrified of that. I'm terrified of not remembering what I used to be able to do. But that just makes me miserable. And when I'm miserable, I don't connect because I know that connection gets severed the second I'm not 'normal'. So I want to stay away from everyone. But I hate that at the same time. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be alone! I don't want to be alone!
And that was basically my thought process last night when I couldn't sleep. So it's been a long couple of days. I know deep down that things will get better. It's just kind of hard to see how right now.
*hug?* <3
I've mainly been in a state of 'Everyone! I just... I hate everyone!' for the past few days. I'm not sure where it came from but I really wish it would leave. My sleep schedule is completely effed up and I'm actually thinking of going back to bed. (The problem with that? It's not even freaking noon!) On the upside (I guess) it is making me work on my craft stuff a little more. I have 26 crochet doughnuts sitting on my desk waiting for icing right now. My writing's staying basically on track too.
It's annoying that these moods of total abject piss-off tend to spark my brain in a lot of ways. They make me feel awful otherwise so it's actually not much of a trade off, I don't think. It's not that I don't want to be creative. I love being creative. It's just that I wish I didn't have to be so angry to really tap into it.
Internally, I've basically been like this for the last few days: Seems this is how it feels to be creative. But I hate how this feels. I hate not being able to sleep. I hate panicking. I hate crying. I hate getting close to people... and I hate feeling alone. So a part of me doesn't want this anymore. But I hate that at the same time. It's all such a mess! I don't want to be 'normal'. I don't want the part of me that's 'me' in that sense to just disappear like that. So I don't want to acknowledge it. If I don't then it never has the chance to leave. It will never have the chance to grow and change and learn to fly. If it doesn't learn, then it can never leave me. I'm terrified of that. I'm terrified of not remembering what I used to be able to do. But that just makes me miserable. And when I'm miserable, I don't connect because I know that connection gets severed the second I'm not 'normal'. So I want to stay away from everyone. But I hate that at the same time. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be alone! I don't want to be alone!
And that was basically my thought process last night when I couldn't sleep. So it's been a long couple of days. I know deep down that things will get better. It's just kind of hard to see how right now.
*hug?* <3
10.8.11
Hey, look, I'm not dead!
I'm sorry guys, I totally forgot I was even on-line for a little while. ^^;
It's just one of those days where you just want to punch someone repeatedly in the face and then set their car on fire. It's no one in particular and everyone in general, you know?
Watching roommate eat a Lemon Head. She'd never eaten one before. I feel kind of bad but lol, still XD I ate one and it sparked an idea for a later scene in one of the books so that's awesome. (Oh, the power of candy. It is both great and fearsome in the world of writers. I mean, what?)
I try to have something to say in these things but I've been so busy lately that I don't really have anything. Just that I'm still alive, getting distracted by Minecraft and still a little behind on... well, everything at the moment. So, I'm going to go back to typing and hopefully get a little closer to where I need to be.
My mind just will not stay put so I'm project-hopping a lot this month. (3 short stories, 2 main novels, worldbuilding for another series and all the stuff for the festival in town.) Hopefully that won't come back to bite me...
It's just one of those days where you just want to punch someone repeatedly in the face and then set their car on fire. It's no one in particular and everyone in general, you know?
Watching roommate eat a Lemon Head. She'd never eaten one before. I feel kind of bad but lol, still XD I ate one and it sparked an idea for a later scene in one of the books so that's awesome. (Oh, the power of candy. It is both great and fearsome in the world of writers. I mean, what?)
I try to have something to say in these things but I've been so busy lately that I don't really have anything. Just that I'm still alive, getting distracted by Minecraft and still a little behind on... well, everything at the moment. So, I'm going to go back to typing and hopefully get a little closer to where I need to be.
My mind just will not stay put so I'm project-hopping a lot this month. (3 short stories, 2 main novels, worldbuilding for another series and all the stuff for the festival in town.) Hopefully that won't come back to bite me...
2.8.11
The update hub
It's day two of AugNoWriMo. I managed to snag the sixth spot on the main list for Milestone this year. Now I just have to stay on the list. ^^ I'm going back and forth between two stories I want to write for it though.
I am...way behind. But I can fix it. And I will. Because I keep writing in short sentences. (Really, I'm about 5k behind where I want to be. Ack.)
Other than that, not much has been going on. Karen's creeping me out but that's not really anything new. I know for a fact that her camera is fine. Those pictures were clear as they always were. I'm pretty sure she'll get tired of messing with me and move on to something else within the next few days though so I'm not too worried. She gets distracted pretty easily.
Anyway, I went and had lunch a little while ago and now I'm all full and happy ^^ so I need to get back to work (also I mistyped 'little' as 'lirrtle' the first time and am still laughing.) So, anyway....onward to mediocrity! (And I want a Memo Panda - a small sticky-note dispenser in the shape of a panda bear. Too bad they don't exist.)
I am...way behind. But I can fix it. And I will. Because I keep writing in short sentences. (Really, I'm about 5k behind where I want to be. Ack.)
Other than that, not much has been going on. Karen's creeping me out but that's not really anything new. I know for a fact that her camera is fine. Those pictures were clear as they always were. I'm pretty sure she'll get tired of messing with me and move on to something else within the next few days though so I'm not too worried. She gets distracted pretty easily.
Anyway, I went and had lunch a little while ago and now I'm all full and happy ^^ so I need to get back to work (also I mistyped 'little' as 'lirrtle' the first time and am still laughing.) So, anyway....onward to mediocrity! (And I want a Memo Panda - a small sticky-note dispenser in the shape of a panda bear. Too bad they don't exist.)
30.7.11
Thoughts on Trans Matters, Duct tape pens and Lazy girl's Grilled Cheese
I wrote 100,000 words in 29 days. Why? Because I am a psycho. And I'm going to take the rest of the month to not stress about these kinds of things...which really doesn't work because I'll be planning and making things and sketching and working on a short story for the next two days until the next cycle of insanity kicks in. Next month is AugNoWriMo, which means another 100k goal for me. Yay?
I usually try not to talk to much about gender and sexuality matters since I know some people don't agree (and that's fine). But I got to thinking about this today. I'm not transsexual but being bigender does technically put me under the Trans umbrella. Some people have a little trouble reconciling Christian beliefs with a desire to change. I do understand why although I look at the world very differently. In my mind, God doesn't make mistakes. So, why are there transsexual people? To me, it's just a test. And to me, you can pass that test by changing. Because it shows that you care about yourself on the inside where it really matters. But that's just me.
Sorry, I just kind of had an epiphany and wanted to share for some reason.
Now, to avoid this getting too serious, I just spent most of the day making duct tape flower pens. And now it feels like my hands are about to fall off. But that's okay because it was actually kind of fun ^^ I have a dozen now and might make a few more in a little while. They make me smile.
And what else was I going to ramble about? Oh, yeah. I was too lazy to actually make a grilled cheese sandwich today so I actually got it in my head to throw a piece of cheese on a bun into the microwave for about ten seconds and eat that. Yes, I really am that lazy.
I didn't actually have much to say this time. People are on my nerves left and right today about all kinds of things so I think I just wanted to type for a little while about something other than a WriMo. Of course, now that AugNo is about to start, I'll be back to rambling about them by the next post but that's not really the point right now.
I've just been feeling bad lately. No real reason for it, I just have. I'll get things straightened around here pretty soon but until then I'm gonna try not to whine at you guys. It bothers me when other people do that so I'll try not to.
I'm just having one of those weird 'You get the choice between being a good person and being successful. It's fine to alter your choice but you cannot be both' moments. I'm also having one of those weird, 'When it's hot like this, you know what I do? I keep my nightclothes in the icebox' moments. I'm pretty sure these two are not related.
I usually try not to talk to much about gender and sexuality matters since I know some people don't agree (and that's fine). But I got to thinking about this today. I'm not transsexual but being bigender does technically put me under the Trans umbrella. Some people have a little trouble reconciling Christian beliefs with a desire to change. I do understand why although I look at the world very differently. In my mind, God doesn't make mistakes. So, why are there transsexual people? To me, it's just a test. And to me, you can pass that test by changing. Because it shows that you care about yourself on the inside where it really matters. But that's just me.
Sorry, I just kind of had an epiphany and wanted to share for some reason.
Now, to avoid this getting too serious, I just spent most of the day making duct tape flower pens. And now it feels like my hands are about to fall off. But that's okay because it was actually kind of fun ^^ I have a dozen now and might make a few more in a little while. They make me smile.
And what else was I going to ramble about? Oh, yeah. I was too lazy to actually make a grilled cheese sandwich today so I actually got it in my head to throw a piece of cheese on a bun into the microwave for about ten seconds and eat that. Yes, I really am that lazy.
I didn't actually have much to say this time. People are on my nerves left and right today about all kinds of things so I think I just wanted to type for a little while about something other than a WriMo. Of course, now that AugNo is about to start, I'll be back to rambling about them by the next post but that's not really the point right now.
I've just been feeling bad lately. No real reason for it, I just have. I'll get things straightened around here pretty soon but until then I'm gonna try not to whine at you guys. It bothers me when other people do that so I'll try not to.
I'm just having one of those weird 'You get the choice between being a good person and being successful. It's fine to alter your choice but you cannot be both' moments. I'm also having one of those weird, 'When it's hot like this, you know what I do? I keep my nightclothes in the icebox' moments. I'm pretty sure these two are not related.
26.7.11
I still can't believe I won.
Yes, you read that correctly, I won JulNoWriMo!
Of course, JulNo is by no means done but I don't have to work on it anymore. Which of course means I want to work on it. Camp NaNo is still going pretty well, though. The infection is starting to spread now and Kat's trying to get his information together and figure things out before it gets too bad. So that's kind of interesting. The two Security Agents are outside the system, trying to track down the faulty (possibly planted) piece of code that's causing it so everything's just kind of starting to move along a little better now.
I was having a little trouble focusing yesterday so I'm hoping that's cleared up today. Everything was off yesterday and it was just...ick.
AugNoWriMo has this thing called Milestone (it's a short story anthology) than I'll probably try to get into this year. I know it's nothing too big but it would still be cool to see my name in print. ^^
In other (more personal) news, I was having some pretty bad gender dysphoria yesterday. It's usually not this bad since it's just internal most of the time but it was kind of on my mind the other day. I mean, I suddenly have, like, no clothes I can wear because almost everything makes me feel too feminine. It's just...really annoying.
I don't want to be a guy permanently. I just feel like a guy sometimes. I don't want hormones or surgery or anything like that. I'd just like to be able to dress as and be referred to as a guy during those times. I don't think my family really gets that (well, the ones that know, anyway). I doubt my grandparents would understand at all, though so it's probably best if I just let it alone for a while when I'm around them. I get the feeling that that leads to a few awkward conversations.
But other than that I'm doing pretty well. I think this blog will get updates on Tuesdays and Saturdays mainly (unless something Earth-shattering happens, of course). I have a little schedule for all the sites I'm on so I don't just let them sit there. It's overall pointless but it gets my name out there and makes me seem accessible, so I guess it works in my favour.
I need to wrap this up before I start to ramble. So, bye for now~
Of course, JulNo is by no means done but I don't have to work on it anymore. Which of course means I want to work on it. Camp NaNo is still going pretty well, though. The infection is starting to spread now and Kat's trying to get his information together and figure things out before it gets too bad. So that's kind of interesting. The two Security Agents are outside the system, trying to track down the faulty (possibly planted) piece of code that's causing it so everything's just kind of starting to move along a little better now.
I was having a little trouble focusing yesterday so I'm hoping that's cleared up today. Everything was off yesterday and it was just...ick.
AugNoWriMo has this thing called Milestone (it's a short story anthology) than I'll probably try to get into this year. I know it's nothing too big but it would still be cool to see my name in print. ^^
In other (more personal) news, I was having some pretty bad gender dysphoria yesterday. It's usually not this bad since it's just internal most of the time but it was kind of on my mind the other day. I mean, I suddenly have, like, no clothes I can wear because almost everything makes me feel too feminine. It's just...really annoying.
I don't want to be a guy permanently. I just feel like a guy sometimes. I don't want hormones or surgery or anything like that. I'd just like to be able to dress as and be referred to as a guy during those times. I don't think my family really gets that (well, the ones that know, anyway). I doubt my grandparents would understand at all, though so it's probably best if I just let it alone for a while when I'm around them. I get the feeling that that leads to a few awkward conversations.
But other than that I'm doing pretty well. I think this blog will get updates on Tuesdays and Saturdays mainly (unless something Earth-shattering happens, of course). I have a little schedule for all the sites I'm on so I don't just let them sit there. It's overall pointless but it gets my name out there and makes me seem accessible, so I guess it works in my favour.
I need to wrap this up before I start to ramble. So, bye for now~
24.7.11
My note-taking pen
is awesome ^^
I made it out of duct tape and a normal pen. In other news, Arrow of Eloquence is doing well, though we could always use more members. ^^ I think once word gets around a little more, we'll start seeing more people wondering by.
I have almost hit my goal of 100k. If I work, I can get there by the 25th. And that's insane. Why is it always when you're trying to work on one project that you get ideas for another? It's nice to have the ideas but really brain? You can't pick a better time?
I'm also clicking around the interwebs for a wig. That's not been going well but I haven't been searching for that long. So that's something else on the to-do list.
But it's a new day and I'm gonna try to work with it. 3k will put me at 90k for the month so that's helping out a lot. ^^ It's also really early in the morning so I'm rambling. I'm also starving so that's getting on my nerves.
As for the series I got back from my roommate, I think the first chapter can stay pretty much as-is but I'm seeing an almost total rewrite in my future. Dang. But at least I can go in and fix the things that are bugging me. I think I have a better way to introduce the MMC this time but I think I'm gonna stay in guy-mode and just take some good notes until I get the time to work on it uninterrupted for a while. It's not an easy world to step in and out of so I'll probably wind up working on the train. Problem with that is that writing puts me in girl-mode and I kind of just wanted to be 'that bookish guy' on the ride up. Oh, well. I can work around it.
I hope you all have a very productive day and I will come and spazz at you once I've won something ^^
I made it out of duct tape and a normal pen. In other news, Arrow of Eloquence is doing well, though we could always use more members. ^^ I think once word gets around a little more, we'll start seeing more people wondering by.
I have almost hit my goal of 100k. If I work, I can get there by the 25th. And that's insane. Why is it always when you're trying to work on one project that you get ideas for another? It's nice to have the ideas but really brain? You can't pick a better time?
I'm also clicking around the interwebs for a wig. That's not been going well but I haven't been searching for that long. So that's something else on the to-do list.
But it's a new day and I'm gonna try to work with it. 3k will put me at 90k for the month so that's helping out a lot. ^^ It's also really early in the morning so I'm rambling. I'm also starving so that's getting on my nerves.
As for the series I got back from my roommate, I think the first chapter can stay pretty much as-is but I'm seeing an almost total rewrite in my future. Dang. But at least I can go in and fix the things that are bugging me. I think I have a better way to introduce the MMC this time but I think I'm gonna stay in guy-mode and just take some good notes until I get the time to work on it uninterrupted for a while. It's not an easy world to step in and out of so I'll probably wind up working on the train. Problem with that is that writing puts me in girl-mode and I kind of just wanted to be 'that bookish guy' on the ride up. Oh, well. I can work around it.
I hope you all have a very productive day and I will come and spazz at you once I've won something ^^
20.7.11
Life Update
Just heard from a friend of mine, Karen, last night. She's okay, she just got really sick so she hasn't been keeping up with her accounts. She was starting to have some problems with her ankles so I think that might be part of it. I'll be trying to keep her cheered up so if I seem tired or anything in the next few posts, that's probably why. I hope she'll be back to feeling better soon.
In happier news, I decided I can waste time with music and fashion too. By that I mean that I'm in the habit of using CC licensed music (giving credit of course) to put together a novel soundtrack. Yeah. It's really fun though. ^^ I have tracks one through five figured out.
Also, clothes. I have all kinds of sketches from all kinds of stories and I'm getting to the point where I really want to start making things. I'm not sure how far any of this will get but I hope it'll work out.
That was really all I had to say so...back to work I go. *skips away*
In happier news, I decided I can waste time with music and fashion too. By that I mean that I'm in the habit of using CC licensed music (giving credit of course) to put together a novel soundtrack. Yeah. It's really fun though. ^^ I have tracks one through five figured out.
Also, clothes. I have all kinds of sketches from all kinds of stories and I'm getting to the point where I really want to start making things. I'm not sure how far any of this will get but I hope it'll work out.
That was really all I had to say so...back to work I go. *skips away*
18.7.11
*poke*
I don't have a lot to say here.
I've been playing around with sites like jamendo to see if I can't make up a soundtrack for my projects. I spent a little while working on one for Faust and I found some really awesome stuff. It's fun but it's kind of a time-waster. I do have several tracks that sort of help me focus on it though, (Nick's Theme in particular) so I guess it's not all bad.
I'm mainly just typing because I'm really not feeling well (like the, 'nobody likes you anyway so why are you even bothering? All you ever do is screw up. I mean, I'm brilliant. It's just an objective fact but I hate you. It can't be for no reason. You must deserve it.' kind of not feeling well) and my roommate made me cry. I don't think she realised it though. For some reason what she said really hurt. I'm not even sure why.
Oh, well. It happens sometimes. I'm not mad about it or anything.
JulNo's going well, at least. If it stays like this, the finished product might wind up somewhere between 100 and 120k. So that's kind of awesome. There's more to the story than I thought there was and Mercedes is becoming a pretty cool character all around.
I have a sticky note on my desktop that just says 'Don't sleep. If you sleep, you lose.' It's kind of creepy, actually.
So, at 2:30 in the morning, I'm going to sit here, keep typing and try to make myself sick on potato chips. Hope you guys are having a better day.
I've been playing around with sites like jamendo to see if I can't make up a soundtrack for my projects. I spent a little while working on one for Faust and I found some really awesome stuff. It's fun but it's kind of a time-waster. I do have several tracks that sort of help me focus on it though, (Nick's Theme in particular) so I guess it's not all bad.
I'm mainly just typing because I'm really not feeling well (like the, 'nobody likes you anyway so why are you even bothering? All you ever do is screw up. I mean, I'm brilliant. It's just an objective fact but I hate you. It can't be for no reason. You must deserve it.' kind of not feeling well) and my roommate made me cry. I don't think she realised it though. For some reason what she said really hurt. I'm not even sure why.
Oh, well. It happens sometimes. I'm not mad about it or anything.
JulNo's going well, at least. If it stays like this, the finished product might wind up somewhere between 100 and 120k. So that's kind of awesome. There's more to the story than I thought there was and Mercedes is becoming a pretty cool character all around.
I have a sticky note on my desktop that just says 'Don't sleep. If you sleep, you lose.' It's kind of creepy, actually.
So, at 2:30 in the morning, I'm going to sit here, keep typing and try to make myself sick on potato chips. Hope you guys are having a better day.
13.7.11
JulNoWriMo Part 5 - How Am I Still Not Screwed?
I'm actually doing really well and it's freaking me out. I'm at 53,038 right now, which is about 106% done. And that's awesome.
Camp NaNoWriMo Trope of the Month: Wholesome Crossdresser
JulNoWriMo Trope of the Month: Everyone is Bi
Only the first one was planned so it's becoming an interesting month.
I'm actually going to a Barcode Wolves concert on the 16th (OMG, Damien is <3) so I'm trying to get a little ahead so I don't have to scramble so hard to catch up. I wasn't going to go but I found the tickets at an awesome price since they were trying to fill seats so I said 'What the hell' and got them ^^ I'll probably be singing 'Dance With Light' for the rest of the day but that's okay because it promises to be an awesome show.
(If you don't know who they are, don't bother Google-ing them - they don't actually exist. I'm just insane.)
Anypoodle, I need to be getting back to work on...something. Anything, really. Nick's kind of throwing me for a loop with how fast he calmed down after that vision and finding out that [REDACTED] so I'm trying to figure out what to do with him now. I think Faust in Chains is going to be the project I clean up for the proof copy this year. That or Until the Day I Die (which is slated for NaNoWriMo this year). We'll just have to wait and see.
Also, I have way too many categories. I mean, look at that list. Really? 0_o
Camp NaNoWriMo Trope of the Month: Wholesome Crossdresser
JulNoWriMo Trope of the Month: Everyone is Bi
Only the first one was planned so it's becoming an interesting month.
I'm actually going to a Barcode Wolves concert on the 16th (OMG, Damien is <3) so I'm trying to get a little ahead so I don't have to scramble so hard to catch up. I wasn't going to go but I found the tickets at an awesome price since they were trying to fill seats so I said 'What the hell' and got them ^^ I'll probably be singing 'Dance With Light' for the rest of the day but that's okay because it promises to be an awesome show.
(If you don't know who they are, don't bother Google-ing them - they don't actually exist. I'm just insane.)
Anypoodle, I need to be getting back to work on...something. Anything, really. Nick's kind of throwing me for a loop with how fast he calmed down after that vision and finding out that [REDACTED] so I'm trying to figure out what to do with him now. I think Faust in Chains is going to be the project I clean up for the proof copy this year. That or Until the Day I Die (which is slated for NaNoWriMo this year). We'll just have to wait and see.
Also, I have way too many categories. I mean, look at that list. Really? 0_o
11.7.11
JulNoWriMo Part 4 - Jezzy Sucks at Focusing
I do! I double do! *bounces* ^.^
Excuse the randomness of the following post. I just wrote about seven thousand words in about five hours.
I... have almost won one whole WriMo this month. Largely by way of typing away like a good little WriRat from midnight until about five freaking AM! My wrists hurt, my back aches and I can't feel my butt. >.>
However. That did push my total word count to just a little over 41,000, which is awesome. ^^ I also have a craving for cake for some weird reason or another. And cupcakes. I want cupcakes.
I think the whole write 1k and switch thing on the projects is gonna work out well. I've already gotten more done in the past few days than I did in the entire beginning of the month. I'm just hoping I can keep it up for a while.
To everyone out there (who bothers to read this) and thinks the whole 100k in one month thing is insane: You're right. But it's fun~ ^.^
Excuse the randomness of the following post. I just wrote about seven thousand words in about five hours.
I... have almost won one whole WriMo this month. Largely by way of typing away like a good little WriRat from midnight until about five freaking AM! My wrists hurt, my back aches and I can't feel my butt. >.>
However. That did push my total word count to just a little over 41,000, which is awesome. ^^ I also have a craving for cake for some weird reason or another. And cupcakes. I want cupcakes.
I think the whole write 1k and switch thing on the projects is gonna work out well. I've already gotten more done in the past few days than I did in the entire beginning of the month. I'm just hoping I can keep it up for a while.
To everyone out there (who bothers to read this) and thinks the whole 100k in one month thing is insane: You're right. But it's fun~ ^.^
8.7.11
JulNoWriMo Part 3 - I Have Confidence
I have confidence in sunshine,
I have confidence in rain,
I have confidence that spring will come again,
Besides which, you see, I have confidence in me!
So, yeah. I'm a little peppy today. ^^
I've been writing, I'm about on pace with where I should be, I'm not freezing...it's a good day. (Well, not for Kevin. Because Kevin just got mauled by a Wall-Dog but that's another story.) JulNo is actually going well. I think the head of the company is probably either the Devil or an alien, I'm not sure which but she's an awful, awful woman. Nick might be going insane and Aiden is becoming a doormat but I think it'll all work out.
Camp NaNoWriMo is finally not giving me nearly as many fits. Things are starting to fall into place in both stories and I couldn't be happier about that. Nara is apparently more skilled at his job than I thought and Delany doesn't seem to pick on him as much as I thought she might. It doesn't seem to go much past the 'occasionally underestimating him because he's a male Security Agent which, in that world, is essentially a guy doing a 'girl's job'' thing. (Or maybe 'girl doing a 'guy's job'' would be more accurate for the kind of treatment he gets. With the females being the stronger socially of the main two genders, when the guys step into dangerous jobs like that, they tend to get picked on.) Kat is developing into a strong, curious and very independent spirit and (much like his father, Marion) I couldn't be happier for him ^^
I'm also kicking around a short story idea but I'm not sure how effective it'll be. I had a really messed up, depressing dream a few mights ago (after watching someone play Polybius - won't be doing that again 0_o) and I feel the need to write it down. I know I won't forget it but I'm not sure if it would read well as a story. Guess I could always try.
What else? I'm back on Last.FM, which is awesome. I'll probably be taking some time off (so far as that's possible during a WriMo) to work on my site which is coming along nicely.
Also, keep your eyes on your Twitter feeds for a special announcement sometime in the next little while. Pretty sure no one actually cares but it makes me feel important to announce it like it's a big deal. So yeah.
If you read this, you've just been Wri-Rolled. Go write a thousand words. Later, Ink-Slingers!
I have confidence in rain,
I have confidence that spring will come again,
Besides which, you see, I have confidence in me!
So, yeah. I'm a little peppy today. ^^
I've been writing, I'm about on pace with where I should be, I'm not freezing...it's a good day. (Well, not for Kevin. Because Kevin just got mauled by a Wall-Dog but that's another story.) JulNo is actually going well. I think the head of the company is probably either the Devil or an alien, I'm not sure which but she's an awful, awful woman. Nick might be going insane and Aiden is becoming a doormat but I think it'll all work out.
Camp NaNoWriMo is finally not giving me nearly as many fits. Things are starting to fall into place in both stories and I couldn't be happier about that. Nara is apparently more skilled at his job than I thought and Delany doesn't seem to pick on him as much as I thought she might. It doesn't seem to go much past the 'occasionally underestimating him because he's a male Security Agent which, in that world, is essentially a guy doing a 'girl's job'' thing. (Or maybe 'girl doing a 'guy's job'' would be more accurate for the kind of treatment he gets. With the females being the stronger socially of the main two genders, when the guys step into dangerous jobs like that, they tend to get picked on.) Kat is developing into a strong, curious and very independent spirit and (much like his father, Marion) I couldn't be happier for him ^^
I'm also kicking around a short story idea but I'm not sure how effective it'll be. I had a really messed up, depressing dream a few mights ago (after watching someone play Polybius - won't be doing that again 0_o) and I feel the need to write it down. I know I won't forget it but I'm not sure if it would read well as a story. Guess I could always try.
What else? I'm back on Last.FM, which is awesome. I'll probably be taking some time off (so far as that's possible during a WriMo) to work on my site which is coming along nicely.
Also, keep your eyes on your Twitter feeds for a special announcement sometime in the next little while. Pretty sure no one actually cares but it makes me feel important to announce it like it's a big deal. So yeah.
If you read this, you've just been Wri-Rolled. Go write a thousand words. Later, Ink-Slingers!
4.7.11
JulNoWriMo Part 2 - Jezzy Sucks at Camp NaNoWriMo
The official three coolest words in the English language right now for me are: Hip Hop Violin. If anyone reads this after 'Faust in Chains' is already out (that would be so awesome) and wondered what Nick's audition for Mellie might have sounded like here you go. As long as the video stays up, that is. If it's not there it's Josh Vietti 'cause he rocks.
That video is proof that YouTube can be a very valuable resource for writers in need. (The More You Know)
Also, I suck at Camp NaNoWriMo. My JulNo is a little ahead of schedule. My Camp WriMo is way behind. But it's not a problem. I'll catch up. After all... I am the pretty WriMo soldier Jezaret Addison, the soldier of love and creativity! And in the name of Sirius, the dog star, I'll win! (Author's note: She's been watching Sailor Moon again. Just go ahead and ignore this.)
There are fireworks going off every five second right outside my window meaning I have to keep stopping because it breaks my concentration. Thanks guys. Really. >.>
On top of all that, my roommates have the TV on in the living room loud enough that I can hear it in my room. I normally don't mind but right now it's really on my nerves. I'm on YouTube blasting 'Hell Frozen Rain' from Silent Hill to drown them out.
Also, as I'm writing this, the JulNo site is down and that makes me sad. Also my hands are freezing and that also makes me sad. A lot of things are making me sad right now, like my apparent inability to spell correctly. (Thank you, spell-check. ILU) So. I'm off to try and catch up on my other project and hopefully the friction from typing will keep the frostbite from destroying my fingers. Bai-bai.
That video is proof that YouTube can be a very valuable resource for writers in need. (The More You Know)
Also, I suck at Camp NaNoWriMo. My JulNo is a little ahead of schedule. My Camp WriMo is way behind. But it's not a problem. I'll catch up. After all... I am the pretty WriMo soldier Jezaret Addison, the soldier of love and creativity! And in the name of Sirius, the dog star, I'll win! (Author's note: She's been watching Sailor Moon again. Just go ahead and ignore this.)
There are fireworks going off every five second right outside my window meaning I have to keep stopping because it breaks my concentration. Thanks guys. Really. >.>
On top of all that, my roommates have the TV on in the living room loud enough that I can hear it in my room. I normally don't mind but right now it's really on my nerves. I'm on YouTube blasting 'Hell Frozen Rain' from Silent Hill to drown them out.
Also, as I'm writing this, the JulNo site is down and that makes me sad. Also my hands are freezing and that also makes me sad. A lot of things are making me sad right now, like my apparent inability to spell correctly. (Thank you, spell-check. ILU) So. I'm off to try and catch up on my other project and hopefully the friction from typing will keep the frostbite from destroying my fingers. Bai-bai.
1.7.11
JulNoWriMo Part 1 - Jezzy Sucks at Writing
She does. Or rather 'Jezzy Sucks at Writing on Schedule'.
Jezzy's also writing from a cabin by a lake and really wanting to go swimming even though it's night time. (Read: Jezzy's imagining she's in a cabin by a lake with the rest of writers in Camp because she's actually felling pretty bad and for some reason that triggers her speaking in third-person.)
She has close to 2,000 words done on both her projects and that's good at least. She's also hungry even though she just ate. And also there's the issue of her wanting to make props. Like, sci-fi props for no real reason other than coolness factor. But that would involve getting things (probably from Wal-Mart) and spending money she doesn't have on interlocking floor mats, heat guns and spray paint. So she probably won't be doing that.
Anywho... I think I need to pick a project for right now. When I feel myself slowing down or getting stuck, I'll switch because otherwise I'm just going to wind up bouncing back and forth for no real reason and not getting anything done. Plus I think I might need a new computer soon, which sucks because I really like my little Toshiba.
I want to study. I don't know why but I just really want to study... like I have a class or something. Maybe I have a writing class? *gasp* Maybe I have a writing class I have to keep up with while I'm at Camp. Maybe-Maybe there's a language class in there too. And it's a really progressive school, like a performing arts college that gives you your class list but you're pretty much responsible for everything not taught by an instructor at a set time, you know, since they can gauge your work ethic that way. (This is the way most of my ideas come to me, by the way. Enjoy your little peek into this process 'cause...it's a mess.) And-and there are only a few classes that have a set time since everyone works at their own pace.
Now is so not the time for new ideas but the New Idea Program is still running in the background so I might have to go and copy down the code real quick so I don't lose it.
...
Jezzy Sucks at Staying on Topic. *headdesk*
Jezzy's also writing from a cabin by a lake and really wanting to go swimming even though it's night time. (Read: Jezzy's imagining she's in a cabin by a lake with the rest of writers in Camp because she's actually felling pretty bad and for some reason that triggers her speaking in third-person.)
She has close to 2,000 words done on both her projects and that's good at least. She's also hungry even though she just ate. And also there's the issue of her wanting to make props. Like, sci-fi props for no real reason other than coolness factor. But that would involve getting things (probably from Wal-Mart) and spending money she doesn't have on interlocking floor mats, heat guns and spray paint. So she probably won't be doing that.
Anywho... I think I need to pick a project for right now. When I feel myself slowing down or getting stuck, I'll switch because otherwise I'm just going to wind up bouncing back and forth for no real reason and not getting anything done. Plus I think I might need a new computer soon, which sucks because I really like my little Toshiba.
I want to study. I don't know why but I just really want to study... like I have a class or something. Maybe I have a writing class? *gasp* Maybe I have a writing class I have to keep up with while I'm at Camp. Maybe-Maybe there's a language class in there too. And it's a really progressive school, like a performing arts college that gives you your class list but you're pretty much responsible for everything not taught by an instructor at a set time, you know, since they can gauge your work ethic that way. (This is the way most of my ideas come to me, by the way. Enjoy your little peek into this process 'cause...it's a mess.) And-and there are only a few classes that have a set time since everyone works at their own pace.
Now is so not the time for new ideas but the New Idea Program is still running in the background so I might have to go and copy down the code real quick so I don't lose it.
...
Jezzy Sucks at Staying on Topic. *headdesk*
30.6.11
This is my 30th post and I know you don't care but read it anyway.
I kind of just said everything in the title.
You know, this is how you can tell I finished a project early. I can't seem to stop typing. I somehow decided that it was a good idea to use a different project for Camp NaNoWriMo than I did for JulNoWriMo. So, clearly...I'm an idiot. This leaves me with 100,000 words total to write next month. Whut.
BUT on the up side, it gives me more material I can spend the next few months not revising.
I have so many ideas from sci-fi horror pseudo-boy's love to something from the 'Magical Boy' genre to things that really shouldn't see the light of day because they are likely to burn their eyes out since they've been locked in the basement for so long. Though most of these ideas are more of a 'sleep on it before you kill yourself' kind of thing. They're either going to drag on and on for me or they're gonna fly by and be awesome.
Either way, I have about 7 more hours until the bus to Camp (NaNoWriMo) gets here 8D. I'll really have to watch that I don't slack off on JulNo, though. My withdrawal symptoms are not pretty.
Well, I really need to start planning a little more so I'm gonna panic in the general direction of the Camp and then calm back down and try to work once midnight hits. (Just because I'm really weird, Camp feels like... well, going away to camp but still having classes (JulNo) to keep up with. It's kind of cool and makes me question my sanity at time. Oh, well. At least I'm enjoying my insanity ^^)
You know, this is how you can tell I finished a project early. I can't seem to stop typing. I somehow decided that it was a good idea to use a different project for Camp NaNoWriMo than I did for JulNoWriMo. So, clearly...I'm an idiot. This leaves me with 100,000 words total to write next month. Whut.
BUT on the up side, it gives me more material I can spend the next few months not revising.
I have so many ideas from sci-fi horror pseudo-boy's love to something from the 'Magical Boy' genre to things that really shouldn't see the light of day because they are likely to burn their eyes out since they've been locked in the basement for so long. Though most of these ideas are more of a 'sleep on it before you kill yourself' kind of thing. They're either going to drag on and on for me or they're gonna fly by and be awesome.
Either way, I have about 7 more hours until the bus to Camp (NaNoWriMo) gets here 8D. I'll really have to watch that I don't slack off on JulNo, though. My withdrawal symptoms are not pretty.
Well, I really need to start planning a little more so I'm gonna panic in the general direction of the Camp and then calm back down and try to work once midnight hits. (Just because I'm really weird, Camp feels like... well, going away to camp but still having classes (JulNo) to keep up with. It's kind of cool and makes me question my sanity at time. Oh, well. At least I'm enjoying my insanity ^^)
28.6.11
Anatomy of a June WriMo
Step One: Start on project like you didn’t do last month. Get paranoid about it going so well and stop.
Step Two: Play around with project for the next three days. Don’t get very far.
Step Three: Start talking with people on forums. Have idea.
Step Four: Make up websites for this idea. Realise you’re a total geek.
Step Five: Start wearing a Creative Unity Bracelet and acting like you’re living in a world where being creative is a crime and/or punishable by being locked up in an asylum.
Step Six: Realise this is probably really stupid (but fun). Create forum for other crazy people like you.
Step Seven: Get depressed for no reason. Flop back on your bed and stare out the window.
Step Eight: Notice you have eye floaters. Make a game out of looking at them and knocking them around until you get a headache. Realise just how dumb that was.
Step Nine: Try to write and get a little closer to back on track. Get distracted and decide to rearrange your desk.
Step Ten: Start using your desk for its intended purpose. Realise your keys clicking sounds really weird and hollow on it.
Step Eleven: Snag three cookies from the tin in the kitchen. Realise you probably shouldn’t be eating cookies at 1:58 in the morning. Decide you don’t care.
Step Twelve: Notice you’ve been getting more done while you’ve been sitting at your desk. Make your desk your new ‘writing zone’.
Step Thirteen: Lounge back in your chair like a diva while munching on a cookie.
Step Fourteen: Get quite a bit done and decide you can go play Amnesia without getting freaked out now.
Step Fifteen: Realise you were very, very wrong. Go back to writing where you feel safe.
Step Sixteen: Spend the next few hours on YouTube and debate with yourself about doing Let’s Plays.
Step Seventeen: Work here and there. Fall behind but not enough to panic over. Work on other things.
Step Eighteen: Get pulled into forum chatter and the daily chat threads. Spend a few days making a proboards forum and other pointless internet things.
Step Nineteen: Get into a Word War. Decide you really like them. Notice your word war companion really likes them too. Decide with them to do a word war every day.
Step Twenty: Use the word wars to get closer to caught up. Get almost caught up and get freaked out by a scene you’re writing. Be paranoid of mirrors for the rest of the day.
Step Twenty-One: Realise your computer had a glitch-fit and you missed your writing buddy’s messages. Apologise all over the place.
Step Twenty-Two: Change your blog theme. If you have project blogs, change their themes too. Spend the rest of the day looking through blog themes for suitable ones.
Step Twenty-Three: Lose the last day’s worth of work when your computer glitches out. Panic and catch up. Party when you reach the 30,000 mark.
Step Twenty-Four: Search around for fitting desktop backgrounds. Find one of Death on his horse and use the hell out of it. Decide monthly themed wallpapers are a good way to keep on track.
Step Twenty-Five: Get caught up reading Starfighter again. Realise you really love the story and want SciFiWriMo to get here already.
Step Twenty-Six: Get slowed down around 35k and get depressed. Keep working until you get closer to 40k. Have to change stories around the 37k mark.
Step Twenty-Seven: Start playing with Windows 7’s Sticky Note feature. Love it.
Step Twenty-Eight: Listen to Silent Hill songs, watch Let’s Plays and write like crazy all day.
Step Twenty-Nine: Get three chapters done and finally hit 50k at about 1 AM and party like a psycho (but quietly because, you know, it’s 1 AM).
Step Thirty: Start planning JulNo and being glad you can be crazy in good company.
Step Thirty-One (optional): Start working on Clarion project and enjoy the mental image of a formal party with girls in suits and guys in Victorian-style dresses.
WriMos start with a single blank page
A single blank page?
A single blank page!
And the single blank page goes onto the file as a title page
And the WriMo team then carefully moves to the planning stage
‘Cause when the clock ticks down, our team should be ready for scribbling, scribbling.
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