Insomnia Game Too Strong

This is not good for me. This sleep schedule is not good for my blood pressure.

This, however, makes me feel slightly better about me:

We all had a selfie party. This was the reaction the link to mine got (it was the tumblr page, so it started with the ones in the mask but still). We're a fab fandom; everyone in it (read: everyone playing a lunatic) is cute.

So far I've gotten a little math done, written a bit, talked to amazing people, and then my internet died (somewhere around 2:30 - and I was in a conversation at the time so yeah, annoying) but it usually does that around this time of night so I'm just waiting for it to come back up now. Listening to music, reading for accounting since I have a test on Friday.

I could probably go rest the modem but I know nothing about it so... yeah.

Back up at about 3:20, down again at 3:32, back up at somewhere around 4:30. It does that pretty much every night for some reason.

Also, this came up in conversation with another Trager blogger:

"I see how yours is written so canon and beautifully while mine's just…not that and possibly never will be. So I'd get knots in my stomach when I'd see your responses sometimes [...] [b]ecause I was painfully intimidated by you."

So that was amazing and yet another pop tab in the 'You're Not A Terrible Writer' jar. (Although I do have far too many things saved in draft that I need to reply to. Also, ghostwriting. Ghostwriting first.)

It is just now 5:00 in the morning and I... wow... why? Why do I do this to myself? I wondered earlier if it was a kind of self-punishment for something I felt like I'd done and the problem with that is that's kind of a too-plausible an explanation. I mean, it would make sense. A lot of things are changing (slowly, but still changing) and that's bound to cause some temporary issues.

Anyway. It's early and I need to sleep for at least a few hours. This up all night thing was fun for a while but it's getting annoying now so I'm really going to try to straighten my schedule around to more 'normal' hours.

Wish me luck on that, if you're so inclined, and I will see you all again soon.

This is easier than I'm making it.

Like so much of my life.

I have:
- Algebra to study (it's easier than I thought it was, I just wasn't using all my tools)
- RP replies to do (seriously, I've been sitting on a lot of them because of school and what appears to be depression. So that's really fun. And someone checked in with my Trager blog and said the following: [That's what I figured, just wanted to check in anywaaay. Even if I'm too shy to make any decent RP attempts, I'm a big fan of your character portrayal and I hope you can kick those lame life problems right in the butt! ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ])
- Writing to do (NaNoWriMo waits for no gender non-conforming individual.)
- 'Outlast' fics to do (some people like what I write. Who knew?)

And really, that's about it for what 'has' to be done, at least for the next little while. How hard is that? (Answer: It isn't.) So, yeah. I'm making this a lot harder than it ever needs to be. And you know what the worst part is? I'm aware of it.

In fact, I'm aware of a lot of things. Huh.

Also, the trip for DashCon is booked so *SCREAMS*

So yeah, that's about where all that is. I do sometimes wonder if it's legit depression. I wouldn't be surprised... That and my weight and the length of my nails. Those are problems for me too.

But anywho... I'm not where where I'm going with any of this other than 'I'm not dead, I'm just kind of sad.' and 'I really hope this gets better soon because it's really freaking annoying'. And I will see you all again sometime before the end of the month.

Assuming 5 a.m.

Assuming that I can actually get up (not just wake up) when my alarm goes off:

- WRITE (You've been terrible about this lately.)
- email that guy about that thing at school
- Catch up with people for a little while (because friends are <3)
- Listen to WTNV (You're behind. You should fix that.)
- Read
- SCHOOL -
- Sketch/plan/read on break
- Accept PTK membership (Yeah, Phi Theta Kappa. It's invite-only, so that's a little awesome.)
- Study things (seriously even like an hour total would help)
- Reply to RP posts and write Outlast/FAKE/IWTV stuff and junk like that.

That's really about it for right now. That is not that difficult. Could use some fine-tuning but... yeah.

For right now, though, I'm going to go to sleep because I am actually tired.

I'll try to make the next entry something actually interesting. No promises though.