*SCREAMS*

This thing. THIS THING HERE IS OUT and I'm in it.

Also:

• I just read your fic and it was fantastic! That’s exactly how I imagined things going on.
• I love the way you write.
• I love fanfics when the picture is in your head and you feel like watching a movie, that’s [the] kind of fanfics I appreciate, because not everyone has this thing. You can read and you don’t see the picture clearly, and when you’re done reading, you can’t remember what was all that about. But in your case when I try to remember what it was all about - it flashes like a movie.
• You described Miles so in character
• Thank you so much for writing, it’s the best thing I’ve read in a long time.
• It’s so hard to find this kind of fanfics, so everytime time I find something - it’s like treasure.
• So thank you so much for writing, your fic really made my day.
• Please, never stop writing Outlast fics! They’re just too great.

All of that ^^^ was in a longer post that someone made about a simple, rambly little thing I wrote about Miles Upshur (from the game Outlast). It was 1,105 words and it took me... maybe two-to-three hours total, edits and all (it's hard to say since I was distracted a lot of the day, working in fits and starts).

But this is how my mind works: I see all of this, read and reread it several times, clip out pieces to put in this post, and I will bet you two of my fingers (lol Outlast reference) that I forget about it in a few days and go back to doubting myself. Why? It's like I can't accept the fact that I have some measure of talent and that that's been improved by all the writing I've been doing and that maybe - just maybe - I'd have a chance on my own, under my own banner, so to speak.

Maybe I need to work on that.

My grandparents were both impressed by that little traffic report I wrote (Grandpa even said my writing was 'brilliant') and Mum has always been supportive - she's even told me that I was better than her at fiction (which I just asdfghjkl;) and then there's all the sweethearts I seem to meet online who like the little things I write and I just... *sigh* yeah. It's... it's been a day today.

I have ideas

Like, I have ideas for NaNoWriMo already. This is so dumb.

I want to do this biopunk/spy thing for it. I'm not sure exactly what I want to do but there's so many story ideas in that combination that I just... yeah.

Shorter post because I have been up all night eating pizza and cookies, writing, and watching Markiplier and co. play Drunk Minecraft and as such I am a little loopy and having a lot of feelings about Harry Potter. #RavenclawPride

So. I hope everyone has a very, very good September. I think I'm getting my writing bug back and I just hope that it sticks around for a while now. Maybe that company idea isn't quite so far out of reach.

The story for the AugNo Anthology is done and sent (I would have loved some confirmation but I don't think I had any the year before last and everything was fine so, yeah). I'll be loading some of that (like a preview) onto the site here fairly soon and that should help me feel like things are a little more completed - like I'm actually getting somewhere. I'm looking for that site - and the company - to go live in 2014 so... wish me luck on that.

I've noticed that Writer's New Year (kind of like Chinese New Year?) doesn't seem to happen on the first of the calendar year. Instead, it happens on the first of November. Save the date and make your resolutions.

So, yeah, I'll be updating the projects in the sidebar here pretty soon (probably not too long after this post goes up) to reflect SeptNoWriMo, which you can find [here], and my goals for that. I'm excited and tired and a little hungry... and almost lonely. And I'm just not sure what I'm feeling right now so...

Bye for now, everyone. Get back to work, fellow WriMos~ And I will see you all in the next update.

Pointless Updates

My current Twitter:

My current tumblr (activity stream because it's easier to see how dark it is/what it changed):

And my current YouTube:

I am very productive. /blatantlies

No, but really, they have Stylish for Chrome and I was so happy when I found that out - like, you don't even know.

In other news, I have one day left to finish a story for the AugNo anthology this year. Joy. Really, like it has to be in by the time she gets up on the first. And she's on Eastern time. So, yeah.

I'm going to go and maybe write a little. Or I might go upstairs and snag some pizza out of the fridge. Yeah. That sounds like a good idea right now. I don't know anymore. I have to figure out what's going on with this freaking story...

And than I have to go back and edit.

Yay.

This has been a pointless update to let you all know that I'm still alive.

*scurries off to find food*

That's Unsettling 8D

Guess what, kids? Look what I found:

This is slightly unsettling, especially because it feeds right in with the story I was writing for the AugNo anthology this year. I was clicking around researching for an actual location to set the thing in but I wanted a paper town - a town that existed as a copyright trap for mapmakers - and I stumbled across this question.

So the story is now set in Steve's Landing.

Joy.

Things.

And things.

Okay.

Section One: AugNoWriMo

AugNoWriMo. Is a thing. Which I am doing. This thing. It's a fun thing. It's a thing that you should do, too. Next year. Or this year. Soon. And then forever. Never stop writing.

Section Two: DashCon/Cosplay

Okay, I don't know what happened with Section One but it's typed out now and I'm not changing it.

So...

I'm thinking about my cosplay list for DashCon. I mean, I'm getting Ryo into different fandoms so I wonder if we'll wind up messing with the line up a little. Right now I'm going as Dee Laytner (the first day), fem!Dee (the second day), and Drake (the last day). I want to keep Dee in my line up, whatever else I might do but I kind of want to throw Touko Fukawa from 'Dangan Ronpa' and/or Cecil from 'Welcome to Night Vale' in there somewhere. 'Course, I'll be at Dash Prom in Cecil cosplay anyway... I don't know, I'm just rambling.

Section Three: There is no Section Three. There never was a Section Three. Move along.

That's about the extent of it. Oh, and I watched 'Don't Hug Me I'm Scared' a while ago. Weird video. Really interesting if you think about the deeper meaning but still really weird.

So, yeah. I'm alive, I'm just trying to get back into writing and I kind of suck at updating things.

Apparently

manually strangling someone will not bruise your hands. The neck is very soft and the most effective way is to just use your thumbs and the side of your hand to cut off the jugular vein and the windpipe. It doesn't take much.

...

It was another writer on Twitter. That's how I know that, I swear!

Anyway.

The place we were looking at fell apart on inspection (Really, who thinks it's a good idea to put layer after layer of shingles on a roof? When you do that, you get bends and dips in the sheeting/decking and then you have to tear the whole thing out and redo it. Unacceptable!) so we're going to go out looking again tomorrow. This is getting annoying but, hey, what can you do?

I think at least two people are going to die in this first chapter. I really do. One on each side, probably. On the upside, I did get to call Nicolai a 'Russian murder machine' (which he kind of is. Boy is seriously messed up).

I'm not sure exactly how screwed up this book is going to wind up being but I'm leaning toward 'very'.

Aside from that drama, I don't really have much of an update... I'll probably try to sleep on this little half-hatched idea of mine here pretty soon. I think I can run with it.

Night, guys! Hopefully, I'll have some house-related good news tomorrow.

Wow

Really, life? Really, self? Really?

'I want to write.'
'I want to read.'
'I want to go to school.'
'I want to drive.'

How?

It is after 1 in the morning and I'm up listening to pop-ish Romanian music. That should tell you everything you need to know about me.

Well, I'm also reading a webcomic and wanting to finish 'The Catcher in the Rye' so I can start reading the books that woman sent me for an editing job. (I kind of hate the formatting in the hard-copy but the writing itself isn't too bad, from what I've read.) That and all of the other books I have downstairs.

I'm jumping into AugNoWriMo again this year. I hope I can get a short story that I don't hate in the anthology this time. (I don't really despise the one from last year but... it wasn't my best.) I'm using the same main novel for both Camp NaNo and AugNo this year, so that should take some of the pressure off. I hope.

I have driving school this month. I'm not freaking out just yet but believe me, that's coming like a freight train.

And normal school starts on the 17th of September. (Normal school! Normal school! I get to go to normal school!) So, I'm a little freaked out. Just a little. Not too much. I have to go in on Monday(?) to talk to people and get things set up and all that happy crap. The placement test wasn't too awful, at least. I got a perfect score on the sentence structure part.

Now... I should probably be sleeping. We have to go to the home inspection tomorrow and I should probably be awake for that.

I'm starting to get slightly obsessed with JTHM again. That and Deus Ex: Human Revolution. So that's fun.

Bye for now, guys. I'm rambling and I should really get back to writing sometime soon. Just wanted to let you all know that I'm not dead ^^

Gentlemen...Behold! (or UPDATE OF POINTLESSNESS)

An Aqua Teen Hunger Force reference!

Seriously, behold: Milestone on Amazon.

*for simplicity's sake, the wall of unintelligible spazzing has been removed. The keyboard is recovering in a local repair shop after an attack of projectile vomiting.*

In other news... I am a horrible person. Now let me explain that. I say that jokingly because I just realised that pretty much every story has had some horrible crime committed in it. Here's the current list (not all from the same story, obviously) :

Theft, Motor vehicle theft, Assault, Assaulting an officer, Felony battery, Criminal mischief, Disorderly conduct, Stalking, Contributing to the delinquency of a minor, Prostitution, Drug trafficking, Rape, Unlawful hacking, Hacking into a government database, Conspiracy, Sedition, Murder in the first and second degree, Serial murder, Torture, Treason, Carrying illegal weapons, Crossing territories without authorisation, Preforming illegal experiments, Practicing medicine without a license (or with an expired/invalid license) and Cannibalism.

I am a horrible person. But in a sense that's a good thing for a writer to be. It makes for an interesting story, if nothing else. Of course, this list is nowhere near complete, I'm sure, but it's good enough for now.

Also, I'm sorry about disappearing like that. I'm just flat-out bad about updating things ^^; I kind of need someone to staple an update schedule to my forehead or something. But don't actually do that. Because that would be very painful.

Thank you,

Jezzy

Did I lose track of where I was going with all that? I most certainly did.

Back on topic, I'm panicking over SeptNo. I'm not even at 20k as of this writing. And that needs to be fixed, like now. Problem is that my brain won't stop spewing out other ideas. I'm glad for them, sure but it means I'm not getting anything done on SeptNo and that stresses me out. On the upside, the crochet cupcakes are coming along a lot faster than I thought they would. This is making me happy. I can't even see like half of my desk thanks to all the baking cups.

I, right now, am going to type until I'm some degree of caught up. Cole is frustrating me and Morgan is keeping secrets so this could get interesting. I shall return... some day. Before the end of the month. With cupcakes. *rolls away*

W00T~!

is the word I use to describe this.

That, my friends, is the AugNoWriMo 2011 Anthology up for sale on CreateSpace. And I'm in it.

So, as I said before, W00T~! (And it should also be up on Amazon in 1-2 weeks.)

I am insanely nervous. I know it's not really that big of a deal but it's still awesome so I'm still going to spazz about it. A lot. In my head so I don't annoy you all.

*spazz dance*

I did it... I did it! *insane laughter*

And here is the reason I've been MIA for a few days: I just wrote 100,000 words in thirty-one days. And I get to be in Milestone this year. *squee!*

As such I'm a little insane at the moment. That should clear up to tolerable levels within the next few days, though. I'm also really ADD right now so this post is probably going to take me a few hours to get through.

I think I broke my ear buds...again. I need to just stop using them since I can never keep them intact for some reason. I need to write (or at least edit) but I keep getting sidetracked by anime and Slenderman stuff. It's sparking all kinds of ideas in my little caffeine-addled brain.

Also, Maureen Johnson is on my list of authors to read now.

And I'm totally rambling when I need to be working. Oh, well. To my renamed version of Word! *runs away*

Well, I feel awful.

And I'm not sure why. I was sitting out at the kitchen table for a while but I can back into my room after about an hour or so. I feel a little better in here, at least.

AugNo story is sent to 'beta reader roommate' and I'm just hoping it's fixable right now and that I don't suck as bad as I think I do. (I'm not good with the whole self-esteem thing right now.) Aside from that not much has happened. I want to start with short stories a little more aggressively and I have a list of horror and sci-fi mags that I can send to.

Things just feel weird for me today. I think I just need to curl up in the dark and write for a while. I have too many ideas in my head most of the time... At least Camp NaNo is at about 40k. That helps a little ^^

I'll try and update this again when I'm a little less 'I hate you go die' about things. Thankfully, these moods don't seem to last too long, overall.

Hello again...

and I do apologise for disappearing like that.

Things seem to be going well and I'm just constantly on edge right now because of that. I don't want it to go away, you know? My sleep schedule should probably be dragging me out and making me really tired but it's not. I actually feel a little better.

Karen (friend of mine) has kind of disappeared off the face of the internet map but that happens to her when something good happens too, so I'm not that worried. She just can't seem to keep things up to date... Poor thing.

Otherwise, things are going decently. I'm a little tired but a part of me wants to go get lunch at the little coffee shop we go to sometimes. Not sure what I'll do just yet. I keep thinking about the coleslaw wraps they have but I'm just so lazy. :/ AugNo anthology story has the first draft down, so that's awesome. Only now I have to edit. Blegh.

What else? Oh yeah, I only have three more doughnuts to make (in the first colour). I'm disproportionately happy about that. ^^ Aside from simple things (like changing my window glass colour to red, making my room look like a post-apocalyptic wasteland just by closing the (red) curtains and having a really awesome (destroyed city) desktop background) nothing much is going on.

So, yeah. I will now return to writing down whatever pops into my head in an effort to boost my word count. Bai-bai~

In the interest of undoing damage...

sounds like a chapter title. But it isn't. At least not yet. It could be.

But really this is to just kind of clear things up. That last post was written from a very dark place in my mind. That's the part I try to shut out as much as I can. I'm not usually so depressed as all that. In fact things feel a little better today. (Well, not physically since my shoulders are in knots and I have a headache but emotionally...)

I don't want anyone to worry about me over this, all right? I'm okay, I promise ^^ I have peanut butter and jelly crackers - how can I be sad? ^^

Anyway, back to your regularly scheduled blog.

I'm on a site called 750words. It is awesome. This is fact. :| No, but it's pretty cool. The goal is to write 750 words every day. It can be on anything. It can be a section of a story, it can be a journal, whatever you want as long as you write. Once you write for long enough, you can get to all kinds of stats on how you did and what your average moods are (I think it goes by key words or something like that). Thanks to it, I know I type around 35 words a minute 8D

My craft stuff is coming along. I can make quite a few doughnuts at once if I'm really focused on it. I'll have to check how much yarn I have though since I've gone through a skein already.

The writing's actually going a lot better now. I'm staying on pace and hence not panicking nearly as much as I used to. Since I've been playing around with Minecraft classic (which is a total time-suck, I promise you), I actually feel a little better about the worlds I'm writing for. I feel like I can see them much more clearly if I have some kind of mock-up to look over and wander through.

I'm at almost 50k total this month. *half-way point party*

And what else? Nothing? Oh... well, then. I will see you all a little later then and I hope you have a wonderful day.

Hey, look, I'm not dead!

I'm sorry guys, I totally forgot I was even on-line for a little while. ^^;

It's just one of those days where you just want to punch someone repeatedly in the face and then set their car on fire. It's no one in particular and everyone in general, you know?

Watching roommate eat a Lemon Head. She'd never eaten one before. I feel kind of bad but lol, still XD I ate one and it sparked an idea for a later scene in one of the books so that's awesome. (Oh, the power of candy. It is both great and fearsome in the world of writers. I mean, what?)

I try to have something to say in these things but I've been so busy lately that I don't really have anything. Just that I'm still alive, getting distracted by Minecraft and still a little behind on... well, everything at the moment. So, I'm going to go back to typing and hopefully get a little closer to where I need to be.

My mind just will not stay put so I'm project-hopping a lot this month. (3 short stories, 2 main novels, worldbuilding for another series and all the stuff for the festival in town.) Hopefully that won't come back to bite me...

The update hub

It's day two of AugNoWriMo. I managed to snag the sixth spot on the main list for Milestone this year. Now I just have to stay on the list. ^^ I'm going back and forth between two stories I want to write for it though.

I am...way behind. But I can fix it. And I will. Because I keep writing in short sentences. (Really, I'm about 5k behind where I want to be. Ack.)

Other than that, not much has been going on. Karen's creeping me out but that's not really anything new. I know for a fact that her camera is fine. Those pictures were clear as they always were. I'm pretty sure she'll get tired of messing with me and move on to something else within the next few days though so I'm not too worried. She gets distracted pretty easily.

Anyway, I went and had lunch a little while ago and now I'm all full and happy ^^ so I need to get back to work (also I mistyped 'little' as 'lirrtle' the first time and am still laughing.) So, anyway....onward to mediocrity! (And I want a Memo Panda - a small sticky-note dispenser in the shape of a panda bear. Too bad they don't exist.)

Thoughts on Trans Matters, Duct tape pens and Lazy girl's Grilled Cheese

I wrote 100,000 words in 29 days. Why? Because I am a psycho. And I'm going to take the rest of the month to not stress about these kinds of things...which really doesn't work because I'll be planning and making things and sketching and working on a short story for the next two days until the next cycle of insanity kicks in. Next month is AugNoWriMo, which means another 100k goal for me. Yay?

I usually try not to talk to much about gender and sexuality matters since I know some people don't agree (and that's fine). But I got to thinking about this today. I'm not transsexual but being bigender does technically put me under the Trans umbrella. Some people have a little trouble reconciling Christian beliefs with a desire to change. I do understand why although I look at the world very differently. In my mind, God doesn't make mistakes. So, why are there transsexual people? To me, it's just a test. And to me, you can pass that test by changing. Because it shows that you care about yourself on the inside where it really matters. But that's just me.

Sorry, I just kind of had an epiphany and wanted to share for some reason.

Now, to avoid this getting too serious, I just spent most of the day making duct tape flower pens. And now it feels like my hands are about to fall off. But that's okay because it was actually kind of fun ^^ I have a dozen now and might make a few more in a little while. They make me smile.

And what else was I going to ramble about? Oh, yeah. I was too lazy to actually make a grilled cheese sandwich today so I actually got it in my head to throw a piece of cheese on a bun into the microwave for about ten seconds and eat that. Yes, I really am that lazy.

I didn't actually have much to say this time. People are on my nerves left and right today about all kinds of things so I think I just wanted to type for a little while about something other than a WriMo. Of course, now that AugNo is about to start, I'll be back to rambling about them by the next post but that's not really the point right now.

I've just been feeling bad lately. No real reason for it, I just have. I'll get things straightened around here pretty soon but until then I'm gonna try not to whine at you guys. It bothers me when other people do that so I'll try not to.

I'm just having one of those weird 'You get the choice between being a good person and being successful. It's fine to alter your choice but you cannot be both' moments. I'm also having one of those weird, 'When it's hot like this, you know what I do? I keep my nightclothes in the icebox' moments. I'm pretty sure these two are not related.