My mind has far too many tabs open.
The result of this is that I have no idea what I'm doing.
I thought about yet another plan of mine (like using Figment to serialize stories before publishing them) but then I realized that I'd probably never get that one done either. So, of course, then I had to try and puzzle out what was holding me back so much.
The answer, as it turns out, is two-fold - at least from my current perspective:
Part One: Depression
As in, 'This is all I'll do, day in and day out, because the world isn't that interesting anyway. Maybe if I got up somewhere very high and then fell, things would look interesting but everything's boring from down here.'
I think this is why I don't care to do much and why my sleep schedule is so abysmal. If I'm asleep, I physically can't worry about things. But if I sleep at night, then I've got all day around people which tends to stress me and make me irritable. However. Sleeping all day like this leaves me unable to actually rest (well, that and a host of other things which I severely doubt I'm dealing with properly) when I do sleep, which means I'm tense and annoyed when I wake up, making it very difficult to get anything useful done.
So, that sort of mindset makes it very difficult to do... well, anything, if we're being brutally honest.
You basically have to start wanting to do things before you can start wanting to do things and that's just... awkward all over.
Part Two: Lack of Self-Confidence
This one's kind of self-explanatory, really. I feel like a lot of it comes from the depression, though. Most days I feel so wretched and uncreative that it amazes me that anything thinking human being would feel otherwise.
As a result, I feel like my ideas are too good for me or that I'm not qualified for the plans I come up with. I second-guess everything which means I'm wrong more often which makes me less likely to want to do anything because 'what's the point if I'm just going to scramble and fail?'
So that's what I've come up with so far.
There's probably a lot of issues that I've just stepped on over the years and those probably aren't helping in the slightest but I'm not sure I even still have the keys to those doors. Might have to wait until I can break the latch or something.
Honestly the only real upside to all of this is that NaNoWriMo has been giving me no trouble at all this year. That's a bit of a confidence boost, I guess.
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
23.11.14
15.11.14
On Broken Sleep Schedules
A sleep schedule is a little like a clock. Rather, it's kind of like a pocket watch. And a little like a sheep.
It's like a pocket watch because you can only pay attention to the gradual passing of the day if you remember to wind it. Otherwise, you're just guessing at the time and constantly late for everything. If you have no sleep schedule, guess what? You're guessing at the time and being constantly late for everything unless you set enough alarms to wake up all of North America, living or dead.
It's like a sheep because... I like sheep.
But that wasn't my point.
My point was the fact that I have no sleep schedule and the lack of a sleep schedule is apparently a pretty big contributor to my general lack of focus and sluggish approach to... well, everything to be perfectly honest.
I feel... clouded. Like nothing's completely real. It's obnoxious, to say the least. But I've taken to writing down notes for things as I think of them rather than just leaving them alone in my head (because I feel like I lack time/talent/etc./whatever) and that seems to be helping slightly. The entire paracosm feels a bit more concrete that way, like I could walk the streets with my eyes open and not be distracted by my hands on the keyboard.
Speaking of, I've been seeing these little flickers out of the corner of my eye recently. Mom's been getting them too, which is slightly comforting, but it's still odd.
All that aside, it is now very late. I have this hibiscus drink from Jamaica (it's actually really good - tastes like honey) and my head is full of vampires.
Things could definitely be worse.
Oh, and I got a really nice message on the NaNo site today:
Sorry to bother! Your story just seems so interesting, I wanted to know how it was going. Do you intend on publishing it? Because I would definitely read it!
Also, I wanted to know if we could be writing buddies? You sound really nice!
Good day to you!
It's like a pocket watch because you can only pay attention to the gradual passing of the day if you remember to wind it. Otherwise, you're just guessing at the time and constantly late for everything. If you have no sleep schedule, guess what? You're guessing at the time and being constantly late for everything unless you set enough alarms to wake up all of North America, living or dead.
It's like a sheep because... I like sheep.
But that wasn't my point.
My point was the fact that I have no sleep schedule and the lack of a sleep schedule is apparently a pretty big contributor to my general lack of focus and sluggish approach to... well, everything to be perfectly honest.
I feel... clouded. Like nothing's completely real. It's obnoxious, to say the least. But I've taken to writing down notes for things as I think of them rather than just leaving them alone in my head (because I feel like I lack time/talent/etc./whatever) and that seems to be helping slightly. The entire paracosm feels a bit more concrete that way, like I could walk the streets with my eyes open and not be distracted by my hands on the keyboard.
Speaking of, I've been seeing these little flickers out of the corner of my eye recently. Mom's been getting them too, which is slightly comforting, but it's still odd.
All that aside, it is now very late. I have this hibiscus drink from Jamaica (it's actually really good - tastes like honey) and my head is full of vampires.
Things could definitely be worse.
Oh, and I got a really nice message on the NaNo site today:
Sorry to bother! Your story just seems so interesting, I wanted to know how it was going. Do you intend on publishing it? Because I would definitely read it!
Also, I wanted to know if we could be writing buddies? You sound really nice!
Good day to you!
This right here? This is amazing to me. First off because I'm working on a really weird story this year. And, not that you asked, here's the cover for it:
There's a reason the title is spaced like that but that's for me to know and you to (hopefully) find out once this thing is done. Right now, it's a little like trying to push a waterbed out of my brain. That is to say, not exactly fun. In fact, it can be pretty painful. BUT. I said on the forums (in an official 'Finish That Novel Club' thread, no less) that I would get this thing done. And I intend to stick by that. I have a terrible habit of using so many things 'for practice' because I get it in my head that nothing I do is 'good enough' to be published, either by myself or by anyone else.
Thing is, I see some of the absolute shit that gets thrown into the marketplace and I think 'Wow... I might not be so bad after all'. The issue with that is that then I have to actually convince myself that when a story is done, it's done. And when it's done, if you set out to write something that others would be allowed to read, it's time to allow them to read it.
That's where my issue actually is, I think. Letting go of a project. I know I'm 'good enough', objectively. I doubt I'm marketable enough for mainstream but some days even I'm not sure about that. I feel a little like that unnamed musician from Interview With The Vampire who wrote beautiful music which would 'never sell' because it was too dreary.
Lestat liked him. Of course, Lestat also loved Nicolas de Lenfent and we all know how that ended.
Anywho-diddly-doodle, the second reason that message is so amazing to me is just because it's never happened before. They took time out of their day and their own life and their writing to send me that message. Someone I've never even met, never even heard of. Not even sure I've seen them around the forums before.
So that's really cool.
But, yeah, that's where that is. I should be sleeping, I've got vampires on the brain, and... it's a weird night.
There's a reason the title is spaced like that but that's for me to know and you to (hopefully) find out once this thing is done. Right now, it's a little like trying to push a waterbed out of my brain. That is to say, not exactly fun. In fact, it can be pretty painful. BUT. I said on the forums (in an official 'Finish That Novel Club' thread, no less) that I would get this thing done. And I intend to stick by that. I have a terrible habit of using so many things 'for practice' because I get it in my head that nothing I do is 'good enough' to be published, either by myself or by anyone else.
Thing is, I see some of the absolute shit that gets thrown into the marketplace and I think 'Wow... I might not be so bad after all'. The issue with that is that then I have to actually convince myself that when a story is done, it's done. And when it's done, if you set out to write something that others would be allowed to read, it's time to allow them to read it.
That's where my issue actually is, I think. Letting go of a project. I know I'm 'good enough', objectively. I doubt I'm marketable enough for mainstream but some days even I'm not sure about that. I feel a little like that unnamed musician from Interview With The Vampire who wrote beautiful music which would 'never sell' because it was too dreary.
Lestat liked him. Of course, Lestat also loved Nicolas de Lenfent and we all know how that ended.
Anywho-diddly-doodle, the second reason that message is so amazing to me is just because it's never happened before. They took time out of their day and their own life and their writing to send me that message. Someone I've never even met, never even heard of. Not even sure I've seen them around the forums before.
So that's really cool.
But, yeah, that's where that is. I should be sleeping, I've got vampires on the brain, and... it's a weird night.
14.11.14
30k Celebration~ And Stuff
I hit 30k (out of 50k) for NaNoWriMo. This is a joyous occasion~ Or something.
Fact of the matter is that it's 12:34 right now (though, obviously it won't be by the time I publish this), and I... am slightly wired. No idea why, but it's there and I figure I might as well run with it.
I have a chapter to finish, a book to work on (and so many to read... like seriously I ought to post my 'to-read' list here just so you can all get a sense of scale. Might do that later. Anyway...).
The other night when I couldn't sleep I finally got around to reading 'PUSH' by Sapphire. Very good but very difficult novel. It's all told from the perspective of Precious Jones, who is about sixteen at the start and is illiterate to barely literate around that time. She already has two kids - one when she was twelve, a girl with Down Syndrome, and one at sixteen, a healthy boy. Her father is also their father, and her mother outright blames her for 'stealing her husband/stealing her man', usually driving the point home with a beating before telling to her get up and fix her something to eat.
Obviously, not meant as a light-hearted read. I read it straight through. It's rough. It's deeply uncomfortable. It's not pretty in the slightest. But it's honest.
And honest is always beautiful.
If absolutely nothing else, I need to learn to take that to heart.
Things are changing. Things have been changing for a while now but every now and then, I'm very aware of them. But I think it's a good change, at least.
And now, a small fact about your humble blogger:
Whenever anyone says 'Writer's block is just laziness/just an excuse', I tune out.
Honestly, I'm fairly distrustful of people who say that they never get writer's block (or anything similar depending on the type of artist they are). I probably shouldn't be but my initial response is distrust for the quality of and care put into their work.
Uppity? Probably. Like, 97% sure on that one.
But right now, that's kinda just how it is.
I think it's because I can never work like that. I need days spent letting my subconscious work on problems that I can't see a solution to at the moment. I need days to unwind and unplug and think and refocus. It's odd to me to think that some people just don't. Of course, to the average person, I'm very odd for a multitude of reasons, so I don't really have a decent platform here, now do I?
That's all kind of beside the point. Although in a way it isn't seeing as there was no point to begin with, which would theoretically make everything in this post both the point and not the point.
Or something.
I don't know.
It's late and I have stuff to do, that's about all I'm really clear on at the moment.
But hey, at least I can see the road to the end of my headlights.
Fact of the matter is that it's 12:34 right now (though, obviously it won't be by the time I publish this), and I... am slightly wired. No idea why, but it's there and I figure I might as well run with it.
I have a chapter to finish, a book to work on (and so many to read... like seriously I ought to post my 'to-read' list here just so you can all get a sense of scale. Might do that later. Anyway...).
The other night when I couldn't sleep I finally got around to reading 'PUSH' by Sapphire. Very good but very difficult novel. It's all told from the perspective of Precious Jones, who is about sixteen at the start and is illiterate to barely literate around that time. She already has two kids - one when she was twelve, a girl with Down Syndrome, and one at sixteen, a healthy boy. Her father is also their father, and her mother outright blames her for 'stealing her husband/stealing her man', usually driving the point home with a beating before telling to her get up and fix her something to eat.
Obviously, not meant as a light-hearted read. I read it straight through. It's rough. It's deeply uncomfortable. It's not pretty in the slightest. But it's honest.
And honest is always beautiful.
If absolutely nothing else, I need to learn to take that to heart.
Things are changing. Things have been changing for a while now but every now and then, I'm very aware of them. But I think it's a good change, at least.
And now, a small fact about your humble blogger:
Whenever anyone says 'Writer's block is just laziness/just an excuse', I tune out.
Honestly, I'm fairly distrustful of people who say that they never get writer's block (or anything similar depending on the type of artist they are). I probably shouldn't be but my initial response is distrust for the quality of and care put into their work.
Uppity? Probably. Like, 97% sure on that one.
But right now, that's kinda just how it is.
I think it's because I can never work like that. I need days spent letting my subconscious work on problems that I can't see a solution to at the moment. I need days to unwind and unplug and think and refocus. It's odd to me to think that some people just don't. Of course, to the average person, I'm very odd for a multitude of reasons, so I don't really have a decent platform here, now do I?
That's all kind of beside the point. Although in a way it isn't seeing as there was no point to begin with, which would theoretically make everything in this post both the point and not the point.
Or something.
I don't know.
It's late and I have stuff to do, that's about all I'm really clear on at the moment.
But hey, at least I can see the road to the end of my headlights.
4.5.14
I REALLY need to quit with the cosplay stuff
But I also REALLY want to do something for which I only require a decent lab coat (which, let's face it, I would probably also just wear anyway because lab coats are awesome - they're like toned-down straitjackets) and a small bottle of rigid collodion (because scar makeup). I can find a bottle for like five bucks total on Amazon and the coat is usually anywhere between 15 and 20 bucks so this is like, the cheapest one on the list. Like, 'I can pay for it on my own' cheap - also known as 'the really good kind of cheap'.
Ya know, there's an upside to insomnia - I tend to get a lot of work done. Like quizzes and required journals and crap like that.
Also, 'Adventures in Insomnia'.
Ya know, there's an upside to insomnia - I tend to get a lot of work done. Like quizzes and required journals and crap like that.
All in all, astronomy is by far the most 'involved' class I'm in this quarter. They ask a lot of questions. Not sure if I like it. Not very charismatic. Makes the whole thing kind of an intrusive, underfoot figure. Oh, well.
So, yeah...
Upside: I'm getting a lot done.
Downside: No sleep is happening. None. I have been up all night about every other night now.
BUT. That at least means I can work ahead. Besides I'm just young enough to handle it still.
So... I'm actually going to try to sleep because it's after four in the morning right now and I've been trying to get a slightly more normal sleep schedule out of all this and... that's just not been happening.
I need to get back on writing too, since I only have two more chapters to get done before it all goes back to the client. It's getting to the point where I really want to work on it just because I really want to see it done, you know?
So that's probably gonna be tomorrow. Accounting and writing. Yeah. Sure.
Good night, everyone~ Wish me luck with sleeping when normal humans do.
Upside: I'm getting a lot done.
Downside: No sleep is happening. None. I have been up all night about every other night now.
BUT. That at least means I can work ahead. Besides I'm just young enough to handle it still.
So... I'm actually going to try to sleep because it's after four in the morning right now and I've been trying to get a slightly more normal sleep schedule out of all this and... that's just not been happening.
I need to get back on writing too, since I only have two more chapters to get done before it all goes back to the client. It's getting to the point where I really want to work on it just because I really want to see it done, you know?
So that's probably gonna be tomorrow. Accounting and writing. Yeah. Sure.
Good night, everyone~ Wish me luck with sleeping when normal humans do.
3.2.14
I've been writing again.
Nothing too fancy - just messing around with ideas. I have two right now that I'd kind of like to see at least mostly done before too long. I actually started screwing around with GIMP and a site with a metric buttload of public domain photos (most of which are not that great for my purposes but, oh well). I found one image I liked, though, and I've been gently arguing with that for the last little while.
But it's basically done now though, so that's cool.
Also, my computer has been randomly locking up for a few seconds before unfreezing again, which is irritating because it's not just one page/the program I'm working in - it's everything. Like, even my music will lock up and make this weird screeching sound like 'eeeeeeeeeeee'. So yeah, annoying. Plus, you know, I like this computer so I'd kind of rather it didn't die or explode or commit any other form of ritual suicide.
It's February. And that means that one month is gone. Already. So I'm both scared and happy. Scared because... well, just because I'm very aware of time and how scattered I've been lately and happy because things are (slowly) getting done.
Oh, and before I forget: Congratulations to the Seattle Seahawks!
Currently, I'm sitting on my bed and bouncing back and forth between maths and mild anxiety/life plans so... yeah. That's basically what my life has been since school went back. It's just an odd quarter this time. I was the only one in my Latin class on Thursday because there are only about four of us in there total.
*sigh* I just... I'm having a lot of issues bubbling up to the surface now for some reason. It's all... amazingly annoying. Me, I catch myself just kind of sitting around like the Frankenstein of potato bags, bored out of my mind but having no desire to do anything because why? But it gets even worse when I realise that I want to do things but none of those things are school-related. So now I have to sit around and clutter up my head-space with a bunch of meaningless things that I'm never going to touch again. Fun.
It all just proves to me that I like learning but I'm not at all in love with school.
... You know, it's really weird when you realise that you're not happy and probably haven't been for a long time. You go along and you don't engage and you don't think about much and then one day, you're doing your laundry at eleven at night because you couldn't be bothered to do it earlier, and you're gearing up for one of your insomniac nights where you don't go to sleep until about three in the morning when your alarm is set for five but it doesn't matter because you ignore it anyway, and then it hits you. So you stand there and stare at one of your black towels which is slowly falling apart and it finally clicks that you're doing the same thing. You keep going to school because 'well, I'm in it now and I'm getting close to graduating' even though you have no idea what you actually want out of life in terms of anything that a degree or college classes would help, and you keep telling yourself you're okay with things and with your life and with the fact that you can't focus enough to study even if you cared to and so you're torn between just quitting - everything - or packing a bag and getting on a train with what little money you have because maybe, just maybe, it'll jar something loose and make you feel something that lasts.
And even like this, on my own blog which very few people read, I still have to say 'you' because that gives me a little bit of distance from everything.
And I'm not going to make some big, impassioned speech about how it gets better and that this is the day that all that changes because speeches like that never feel sincere. Honestly, I don't know what to do with this. It should be an easy choice, at least on the surface: Do you want to be happy the rest of your life or miserable? And I think that's what scares me the most. I don't have an answer because I don't know what being happy would feel like. I've locked everything down so much I'm not sure I can get to it anymore. That's the best way I can say it right now.
And, because timing is everything, this post just showed up on my tumblr dashboard:
"Mental illness is like fighting a war where the enemy’s strategy is to convince you that the war isn’t actually happening."
But it's basically done now though, so that's cool.
Also, my computer has been randomly locking up for a few seconds before unfreezing again, which is irritating because it's not just one page/the program I'm working in - it's everything. Like, even my music will lock up and make this weird screeching sound like 'eeeeeeeeeeee'. So yeah, annoying. Plus, you know, I like this computer so I'd kind of rather it didn't die or explode or commit any other form of ritual suicide.
It's February. And that means that one month is gone. Already. So I'm both scared and happy. Scared because... well, just because I'm very aware of time and how scattered I've been lately and happy because things are (slowly) getting done.
Oh, and before I forget: Congratulations to the Seattle Seahawks!
Currently, I'm sitting on my bed and bouncing back and forth between maths and mild anxiety/life plans so... yeah. That's basically what my life has been since school went back. It's just an odd quarter this time. I was the only one in my Latin class on Thursday because there are only about four of us in there total.
*sigh* I just... I'm having a lot of issues bubbling up to the surface now for some reason. It's all... amazingly annoying. Me, I catch myself just kind of sitting around like the Frankenstein of potato bags, bored out of my mind but having no desire to do anything because why? But it gets even worse when I realise that I want to do things but none of those things are school-related. So now I have to sit around and clutter up my head-space with a bunch of meaningless things that I'm never going to touch again. Fun.
It all just proves to me that I like learning but I'm not at all in love with school.
... You know, it's really weird when you realise that you're not happy and probably haven't been for a long time. You go along and you don't engage and you don't think about much and then one day, you're doing your laundry at eleven at night because you couldn't be bothered to do it earlier, and you're gearing up for one of your insomniac nights where you don't go to sleep until about three in the morning when your alarm is set for five but it doesn't matter because you ignore it anyway, and then it hits you. So you stand there and stare at one of your black towels which is slowly falling apart and it finally clicks that you're doing the same thing. You keep going to school because 'well, I'm in it now and I'm getting close to graduating' even though you have no idea what you actually want out of life in terms of anything that a degree or college classes would help, and you keep telling yourself you're okay with things and with your life and with the fact that you can't focus enough to study even if you cared to and so you're torn between just quitting - everything - or packing a bag and getting on a train with what little money you have because maybe, just maybe, it'll jar something loose and make you feel something that lasts.
And even like this, on my own blog which very few people read, I still have to say 'you' because that gives me a little bit of distance from everything.
And I'm not going to make some big, impassioned speech about how it gets better and that this is the day that all that changes because speeches like that never feel sincere. Honestly, I don't know what to do with this. It should be an easy choice, at least on the surface: Do you want to be happy the rest of your life or miserable? And I think that's what scares me the most. I don't have an answer because I don't know what being happy would feel like. I've locked everything down so much I'm not sure I can get to it anymore. That's the best way I can say it right now.
And, because timing is everything, this post just showed up on my tumblr dashboard:
"Mental illness is like fighting a war where the enemy’s strategy is to convince you that the war isn’t actually happening."
8.12.13
So, DashCon
These two right here, Dee Laytner and Diana Spacey
are on my cosplay list for DashCon. Dee's going to be fun and his outfit is decently easy. It's just the hair I'm probably going to have to fight with a little.
She's so fab, though~ <3
are on my cosplay list for DashCon. Dee's going to be fun and his outfit is decently easy. It's just the hair I'm probably going to have to fight with a little.
Diana is a little more complicated:
Cecil from Welcome to Night Vale is also on my list but no one knows what the man looks like so I kind of have free reign there. I also need an outfit for a formal dance (DashProm) and for a rave. I also have a friendship basket to do, the list for which is back in this blog somewhere (I know I posted it).
And now for something completely different.
Section Two: Writing
As in, I can get back to writing because this quarter is essentially over. Also, this happened:
And now for something completely different.
Section Two: Writing
As in, I can get back to writing because this quarter is essentially over. Also, this happened:
Friend One: I think we all agree you're like.. one of our favorite writers ever. YOU WERE LIKE. MY WRITING SENPAI WHEN I FIRST MET YOU... I was so intimidated to talk to you xD cause you were so good
Me: ASDFGHJKL; What, really? People tell me this... but then I'm a geek and they stop being so intimidated (which is very good because I'm about as intimidating as a pink butterfly stuck to a marshmallow).
Friend One: yeah LOLL I felt so .. inferior compared to your writing. xD But I was so hoping to rp with you like oh god
Friend Two: same
So, yeah. that was kind of a pick-me-up.
And that's about all that's been happening right now.
Oh, wait, there was something else:
Section Four: NaNoWriMo
As in, 'I'm working as a free agent now, Scott. Can't abide by the larger wolf's laws so it only makes sense to leave the pack.'
...
I'm not doing NaNo officially anymore, is what that means. The OLL has just gotten... I don't really know if I can explain it - I just feel like they've gotten too far from the roots of the project and I don't really want to be a part of it anymore. I'll be over at WriYe, keeping track of things that way.
But ignoring all that, it's been pretty quiet. I think I'll spend some time before the first of the year going through the manga and picking an outfit for Dee and Diana and then I can jump into searching for things after the first.
I'm rambling. Stuff if going on. I have books to write and a company to build and a friend to meet in 2014 and wow, life. This was an awful post but I got my basic points across and I'm not going to go back and try to fix it now because my laptop battery is almost dead SO... yeah. I'll be back with a little more cohesion pretty soon to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and all that but for now, enjoy my rambling.
*waves* *crawls under a fuzzy blanket*
Oh, wait, there was something else:
Section Four: NaNoWriMo
As in, 'I'm working as a free agent now, Scott. Can't abide by the larger wolf's laws so it only makes sense to leave the pack.'
...
I'm not doing NaNo officially anymore, is what that means. The OLL has just gotten... I don't really know if I can explain it - I just feel like they've gotten too far from the roots of the project and I don't really want to be a part of it anymore. I'll be over at WriYe, keeping track of things that way.
But ignoring all that, it's been pretty quiet. I think I'll spend some time before the first of the year going through the manga and picking an outfit for Dee and Diana and then I can jump into searching for things after the first.
I'm rambling. Stuff if going on. I have books to write and a company to build and a friend to meet in 2014 and wow, life. This was an awful post but I got my basic points across and I'm not going to go back and try to fix it now because my laptop battery is almost dead SO... yeah. I'll be back with a little more cohesion pretty soon to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and all that but for now, enjoy my rambling.
*waves* *crawls under a fuzzy blanket*
13.11.13
This is easier than I'm making it.
Like so much of my life.
I have:
- Algebra to study (it's easier than I thought it was, I just wasn't using all my tools)
- RP replies to do (seriously, I've been sitting on a lot of them because of school and what appears to be depression. So that's really fun. And someone checked in with my Trager blog and said the following: [That's what I figured, just wanted to check in anywaaay. Even if I'm too shy to make any decent RP attempts, I'm a big fan of your character portrayal and I hope you can kick those lame life problems right in the butt! ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ])
- Writing to do (NaNoWriMo waits for no gender non-conforming individual.)
- 'Outlast' fics to do (some people like what I write. Who knew?)
And really, that's about it for what 'has' to be done, at least for the next little while. How hard is that? (Answer: It isn't.) So, yeah. I'm making this a lot harder than it ever needs to be. And you know what the worst part is? I'm aware of it.
In fact, I'm aware of a lot of things. Huh.
Also, the trip for DashCon is booked so *SCREAMS*
So yeah, that's about where all that is. I do sometimes wonder if it's legit depression. I wouldn't be surprised... That and my weight and the length of my nails. Those are problems for me too.
But anywho... I'm not where where I'm going with any of this other than 'I'm not dead, I'm just kind of sad.' and 'I really hope this gets better soon because it's really freaking annoying'. And I will see you all again sometime before the end of the month.
I have:
- Algebra to study (it's easier than I thought it was, I just wasn't using all my tools)
- RP replies to do (seriously, I've been sitting on a lot of them because of school and what appears to be depression. So that's really fun. And someone checked in with my Trager blog and said the following: [That's what I figured, just wanted to check in anywaaay. Even if I'm too shy to make any decent RP attempts, I'm a big fan of your character portrayal and I hope you can kick those lame life problems right in the butt! ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ])
- Writing to do (NaNoWriMo waits for no gender non-conforming individual.)
- 'Outlast' fics to do (some people like what I write. Who knew?)
And really, that's about it for what 'has' to be done, at least for the next little while. How hard is that? (Answer: It isn't.) So, yeah. I'm making this a lot harder than it ever needs to be. And you know what the worst part is? I'm aware of it.
In fact, I'm aware of a lot of things. Huh.
Also, the trip for DashCon is booked so *SCREAMS*
So yeah, that's about where all that is. I do sometimes wonder if it's legit depression. I wouldn't be surprised... That and my weight and the length of my nails. Those are problems for me too.
But anywho... I'm not where where I'm going with any of this other than 'I'm not dead, I'm just kind of sad.' and 'I really hope this gets better soon because it's really freaking annoying'. And I will see you all again sometime before the end of the month.
6.11.13
Assuming 5 a.m.
Assuming that I can actually get up (not just wake up) when my alarm goes off:
- WRITE (You've been terrible about this lately.)
- email that guy about that thing at school
- Catch up with people for a little while (because friends are <3)
- Listen to WTNV (You're behind. You should fix that.)
- Read
- SCHOOL -
- Sketch/plan/read on break
- Accept PTK membership (Yeah, Phi Theta Kappa. It's invite-only, so that's a little awesome.)
- Study things (seriously even like an hour total would help)
- Reply to RP posts and write Outlast/FAKE/IWTV stuff and junk like that.
That's really about it for right now. That is not that difficult. Could use some fine-tuning but... yeah.
For right now, though, I'm going to go to sleep because I am actually tired.
I'll try to make the next entry something actually interesting. No promises though.
- WRITE (You've been terrible about this lately.)
- email that guy about that thing at school
- Catch up with people for a little while (because friends are <3)
- Listen to WTNV (You're behind. You should fix that.)
- Read
- SCHOOL -
- Sketch/plan/read on break
- Accept PTK membership (Yeah, Phi Theta Kappa. It's invite-only, so that's a little awesome.)
- Study things (seriously even like an hour total would help)
- Reply to RP posts and write Outlast/FAKE/IWTV stuff and junk like that.
That's really about it for right now. That is not that difficult. Could use some fine-tuning but... yeah.
For right now, though, I'm going to go to sleep because I am actually tired.
I'll try to make the next entry something actually interesting. No promises though.
26.10.13
Welcome to the Banned Books List
Want to avoid getting banned/challenged?
- You can't have any mention of cannibalism.
- Your book can't mention any body parts.
- You can't talk about religion.
- You can't have any mention of sex.
- You can't talk about sexuality.
- You can't talk about gender unless it is cis and not crime investigation kind either.
- You can't talk about sexual orientation.
- You can't talk about class or classism.
- You can't swear, including the word "damn."
- You can't talk about child abuse.
- You can't mention any drugs, including alcohol, especially with teenagers drinking it.
- You can't take the Lord's name in vain.
- You can't have it be morally corrupt.
- No characters may ever die once.
-- No dead parents.
-- You may not mention anyone dead or dying.
-- No young infants dying.
- Children can't do violence, especially to adults or to each other. Especially school violence.
- And by all means it can't be "icky." "gross" or "scary"
- No talk or showing of nudity.
- No talking about over eating/bad eating habits.
- It can't be a "Downer"
- No children defying authority figures.
- You, the author, can't be (which is a new "feature" of book banning):
-- LGBT
- You can't have any mention of cannibalism.
- Your book can't mention any body parts.
- You can't talk about religion.
- You can't have any mention of sex.
- You can't talk about sexuality.
- You can't talk about gender unless it is cis and not crime investigation kind either.
- You can't talk about sexual orientation.
- You can't talk about class or classism.
- You can't swear, including the word "damn."
- You can't talk about child abuse.
- You can't mention any drugs, including alcohol, especially with teenagers drinking it.
- You can't take the Lord's name in vain.
- You can't have it be morally corrupt.
- No characters may ever die once.
-- No dead parents.
-- You may not mention anyone dead or dying.
-- No young infants dying.
- Children can't do violence, especially to adults or to each other. Especially school violence.
- And by all means it can't be "icky." "gross" or "scary"
- No talk or showing of nudity.
- No talking about over eating/bad eating habits.
- It can't be a "Downer"
- No children defying authority figures.
- You, the author, can't be (which is a new "feature" of book banning):
-- LGBT
And no, this is not the whole list, these are just the ones that are likely with the book I'm planning. So, yeah, this is gonna be fun.
There was really no point to this other than that. NaNo is coming.
I'm going to put a proper post together later but for right now, I think I'm just going to read, do a couple RP replies, and hope this headache goes away.
22.10.13
So this was kind of a pick-me-up.
Some background on this chat which made me happy: I wrote an Outlast fic when I was wanting to gut someone the other night. It was about our poor, brave reporter being cornered by The Twins and getting his tongue cut out. It has 18 notes as of this writing so I guess I'm not the only sick bunny out there ^w^ [Some of the tags added in reblogs include 'loud yelling', 'inspiration' and (possibly the one that made me smile the most) 'art'.]
Friend 1: Alright. Whoever made that Tongue fic needs a handshake but also a punch in the nose i am literally crying
Friend 1: THATS HORRIBLE IM
Friend 2: i know holy shit
Friend 1: I WAS SITTING IN THE CAR READING IT SO WHEN I STARTED DRIVING AGAIN
Friend 1: I WAS IN PAIN JUST
Friend 1: TRYING NOT TO FLY OFF THE ROAD LIKE "MIIILLESSS DB"
Friend 4: it was rabbit
Friend 1: Sobbing
Friend 4: :'DD
Friend 1: CURLS UP
Friend 1: SCREAMS
Friend 2: well now I gotta go read it
Friend 1: ITS SO PAINFUL
Friend 3: ur heart will die
Friend 3: i csn t even type
Friend 2: they said that about Supernatural and I sat throguh that shit like a man
Friend 1: my heart was already dead. but it came back to life
Friend 1: and then stabbed it again
[]
Friend 2: ok yeah that was intense yo
Friend 1: Im crying
Friend 1: I was shaking when i was driving home
German Artist Friend: rabbit is awesome. this one made me feel very sick :'D
Friend 4: how do writing
So, yeah, I'm a little happy.
Also, I got my hair cut:
(and it's super-cute - I look like me ^^) and my Algebra wasn't... as bad as it could have been. I need time more than anything. It's just not something that I can just sit down and study for hours on end - I start getting tense and stabby.
So, time. Bite-sized pieces. It's a lot easier to break down a difficult concept then to try to swallow everything whole.
*sigh*
Basically, I just need to get it though my head that 'One day at a time' means just that. That and the fact that I apparently have some measure of talent in several areas. The idea of that is still weird to me though...
Working on it.
I think the phrase for the next little while is going to be 'Working on it'.
Wish me books and sleep, everyone. I feel like I'm going to need them.
Friend 1: Alright. Whoever made that Tongue fic needs a handshake but also a punch in the nose i am literally crying
Friend 1: THATS HORRIBLE IM
Friend 2: i know holy shit
Friend 1: I WAS SITTING IN THE CAR READING IT SO WHEN I STARTED DRIVING AGAIN
Friend 1: I WAS IN PAIN JUST
Friend 1: TRYING NOT TO FLY OFF THE ROAD LIKE "MIIILLESSS DB"
Friend 4: it was rabbit
Friend 1: Sobbing
Friend 4: :'DD
Friend 1: CURLS UP
Friend 1: SCREAMS
Friend 2: well now I gotta go read it
Friend 1: ITS SO PAINFUL
Friend 3: ur heart will die
Friend 3: i csn t even type
Friend 2: they said that about Supernatural and I sat throguh that shit like a man
Friend 1: my heart was already dead. but it came back to life
Friend 1: and then stabbed it again
[]
Friend 2: ok yeah that was intense yo
Friend 1: Im crying
Friend 1: I was shaking when i was driving home
German Artist Friend: rabbit is awesome. this one made me feel very sick :'D
Friend 4: how do writing
So, yeah, I'm a little happy.
Also, I got my hair cut:
(and it's super-cute - I look like me ^^) and my Algebra wasn't... as bad as it could have been. I need time more than anything. It's just not something that I can just sit down and study for hours on end - I start getting tense and stabby.
So, time. Bite-sized pieces. It's a lot easier to break down a difficult concept then to try to swallow everything whole.
*sigh*
Basically, I just need to get it though my head that 'One day at a time' means just that. That and the fact that I apparently have some measure of talent in several areas. The idea of that is still weird to me though...
Working on it.
I think the phrase for the next little while is going to be 'Working on it'.
Wish me books and sleep, everyone. I feel like I'm going to need them.
11.10.13
So some people are awesome
The Outlast fandom. Yes, the tag has a tendency to make me rage but the RPers are pretty much gold. I wound up with a Miles blog (still sort of finding my footing there) and a Trager blog (pretty much like breathing, which made me nervous until I remembered that I was a writer) and it's been insanely fun. So that's awesome. It keeps me writing more consistently too and that's a very good thing.
I have some threads to reply to so I'll probably go and do that pretty soon. 'A new man came into town today' and 'Doctor's Practice' mainly. There's also a 'Silky' RPer, who I just found yesterday~ (It's sort of a fan-nickname for a character in a gag, blindfold, and straitjacket who follows Miles around for a little while and rambles things like 'Silky... you look so silky', 'I need to tell you a secret', and 'Are you my friend?')
I have some shows to watch and a book to finish reading too.
On an almost completely unrelated note:
My eyesight is terrible. Like really terrible. 20/20 is considered really good and that means that if you and someone else stand 20 ft. away from something, you both see it the same way. 20/30 means that you see at 20 ft. what they see at 30 ft. The higher that second number is, the worse your vision is. That scale goes all the way up to 20/800.
I am off that scale. My vision is worse than 20/800. I'm like 20/Movement and Fingers. So that means LASIK is out because it wouldn't give me enough of a correction without shearing off nearly all of the tissue in my cornea, which just isn't safe. So I'm looking into some other options.
Oh and someone from the NaNo forums [in fact, this lovely person here] made me a cover:
Isn't it cool?
Well, I kind of love it anyway. Not zoned for commercial use, sadly (because I totally would) but yeah, really awesome <3 And it gives me an idea of what I should probably try to do with the final version of the official cover.
So that's where all that is.
For now, I need to go do my replies and junk like that, and then maybe sit down and plan for NaNo a little bit. I usually don't but this year it's one of those books that I think would benefit from at least a somewhat stable outline.
Bye for now, everyone. I'll try to check in again soon~
I have some threads to reply to so I'll probably go and do that pretty soon. 'A new man came into town today' and 'Doctor's Practice' mainly. There's also a 'Silky' RPer, who I just found yesterday~ (It's sort of a fan-nickname for a character in a gag, blindfold, and straitjacket who follows Miles around for a little while and rambles things like 'Silky... you look so silky', 'I need to tell you a secret', and 'Are you my friend?')
I have some shows to watch and a book to finish reading too.
On an almost completely unrelated note:
My eyesight is terrible. Like really terrible. 20/20 is considered really good and that means that if you and someone else stand 20 ft. away from something, you both see it the same way. 20/30 means that you see at 20 ft. what they see at 30 ft. The higher that second number is, the worse your vision is. That scale goes all the way up to 20/800.
I am off that scale. My vision is worse than 20/800. I'm like 20/Movement and Fingers. So that means LASIK is out because it wouldn't give me enough of a correction without shearing off nearly all of the tissue in my cornea, which just isn't safe. So I'm looking into some other options.
Oh and someone from the NaNo forums [in fact, this lovely person here] made me a cover:
Well, I kind of love it anyway. Not zoned for commercial use, sadly (because I totally would) but yeah, really awesome <3 And it gives me an idea of what I should probably try to do with the final version of the official cover.
So that's where all that is.
For now, I need to go do my replies and junk like that, and then maybe sit down and plan for NaNo a little bit. I usually don't but this year it's one of those books that I think would benefit from at least a somewhat stable outline.
Bye for now, everyone. I'll try to check in again soon~
5.10.13
Things
'im drunk and i send you smooches and postatgingie tomorrowww and im happyy okay bye kisses' - sent by a relatively new friend of mine.
It's a little sad but do you know what my first thought was? "Aw, you thought of me when you were drunk <3".
It's a little sad but do you know what my first thought was? "Aw, you thought of me when you were drunk <3".
But no, yeah, there is a point to this post. And that point is as follows:
NaNoWriMo
About a month away.
So here is a list of everything that I need to get done before then (not including schoolwork)
- 11 Outlast fics / 1 FAKE fic
- Outline/plan for NaNo project (seriously, this one is wordy and character-heavy; don't think you can wing this one)
- Work on Other Book - because you need to. It's interesting and it's been sitting around for way too long. You also need to finish/edit the first one.
- Pretty much the same goes for The Book.
- In fact, plan and outline for EVERYTHING.
- Finish reading letters to a young activist (at least)
- Watch your shows in your spare time (assuming that you have spare time)
- Also? Finish your crochet intestine scarf thing.
So yeah. A lot of writing and general work will need to take place.
Here's hoping that my anxiety and general mental health don't decide to make things needlessly difficult for me.
28.9.13
I drew a thing
This thing:
It's a Dead Space Necromorph. I found my favourite picture of one (it's the sculpture one - it's really cool) and stayed up for about two hours last night staring at it and drawing this little guy. Inn't he cute?
It's so weird to me though because I stopped drawing (just kind of fell out of it) when I was... wow, maybe fourteen? I'm almost 21 now and this... this is what I choose to get back into drawing with???
*sigh* I don't know, right now my entire brain is just like:
A lot is going on right now. I'm planning a lot of things. I'm slowly getting back into my writing groove. Oh, and an illustrator offered me a gift - an Outlast art request - since I'd been writing for the series for a little while. So that was really awesome ^.^
Mum and I are going to have to make up a schedule like we did for the last quarter because my classes are set up in an unforgivably stupid way. I just... it really makes me want to punch people. I don't understand why people can't set things up logically and clearly.
But that's not the point. The point is that I'm still alive, I want to draw, I want to write, I want to sew, I kind of want to do ALL THE THINGS.
So. I'm going to let my computer charge and then try to figure out just what the hell is going on with school. I mean, seriously now.
*headdesk*
I'm gonna go eat and then maybe write about journalists.
It's a Dead Space Necromorph. I found my favourite picture of one (it's the sculpture one - it's really cool) and stayed up for about two hours last night staring at it and drawing this little guy. Inn't he cute?
It's so weird to me though because I stopped drawing (just kind of fell out of it) when I was... wow, maybe fourteen? I'm almost 21 now and this... this is what I choose to get back into drawing with???
*sigh* I don't know, right now my entire brain is just like:
- ??????
- ???????????
- ???????!!
A lot is going on right now. I'm planning a lot of things. I'm slowly getting back into my writing groove. Oh, and an illustrator offered me a gift - an Outlast art request - since I'd been writing for the series for a little while. So that was really awesome ^.^
Mum and I are going to have to make up a schedule like we did for the last quarter because my classes are set up in an unforgivably stupid way. I just... it really makes me want to punch people. I don't understand why people can't set things up logically and clearly.
But that's not the point. The point is that I'm still alive, I want to draw, I want to write, I want to sew, I kind of want to do ALL THE THINGS.
So. I'm going to let my computer charge and then try to figure out just what the hell is going on with school. I mean, seriously now.
*headdesk*
I'm gonna go eat and then maybe write about journalists.
12.9.13
*SCREAMS*
This thing. THIS THING HERE IS OUT and I'm in it.
Also:
Also:
- I just read your fic and it was fantastic! That’s exactly how I imagined things going on.
- I love the way you write.
- I love fanfics when the picture is in your head and you feel like watching a movie, that’s [the] kind of fanfics I appreciate, because not everyone has this thing. You can read and you don’t see the picture clearly, and when you’re done reading, you can’t remember what was all that about. But in your case when I try to remember what it was all about - it flashes like a movie.
- You described Miles so in character
- Thank you so much for writing, it’s the best thing I’ve read in a long time.
- It’s so hard to find this kind of fanfics, so everytime time I find something - it’s like treasure.
- So thank you so much for writing, your fic really made my day.
- Please, never stop writing Outlast fics! They’re just too great.
All of that ^^^ was in a longer post that someone made about a simple, rambly little thing I wrote about Miles Upshur (from the game Outlast). It was 1,105 words and it took me... maybe two-to-three hours total, edits and all (it's hard to say since I was distracted a lot of the day, working in fits and starts).
But this is how my mind works: I see all of this, read and reread it several times, clip out pieces to put in this post, and I will bet you two of my fingers (lol Outlast reference) that I forget about it in a few days and go back to doubting myself. Why? It's like I can't accept the fact that I have some measure of talent and that that's been improved by all the writing I've been doing and that maybe - just maybe - I'd have a chance on my own, under my own banner, so to speak.
Maybe I need to work on that.
My grandparents were both impressed by that little traffic report I wrote (Grandpa even said my writing was 'brilliant') and Mum has always been supportive - she's even told me that I was better than her at fiction (which I just asdfghjkl;) and then there's all the sweethearts I seem to meet online who like the little things I write and I just... *sigh* yeah. It's... it's been a day today.
23.8.13
That's Unsettling 8D
Guess what, kids? Look what I found:
This is slightly unsettling, especially because it feeds right in with the story I was writing for the AugNo anthology this year. I was clicking around researching for an actual location to set the thing in but I wanted a paper town - a town that existed as a copyright trap for mapmakers - and I stumbled across this question.
So the story is now set in Steve's Landing.
Joy.
This is slightly unsettling, especially because it feeds right in with the story I was writing for the AugNo anthology this year. I was clicking around researching for an actual location to set the thing in but I wanted a paper town - a town that existed as a copyright trap for mapmakers - and I stumbled across this question.
So the story is now set in Steve's Landing.
Joy.
20.8.13
Things.
And things.
Okay.
Section One: AugNoWriMo
AugNoWriMo. Is a thing. Which I am doing. This thing. It's a fun thing. It's a thing that you should do, too. Next year. Or this year. Soon. And then forever. Never stop writing.
Section Two: DashCon/Cosplay
Okay, I don't know what happened with Section One but it's typed out now and I'm not changing it.
So...
I'm thinking about my cosplay list for DashCon. I mean, I'm getting Ryo into different fandoms so I wonder if we'll wind up messing with the line up a little. Right now I'm going as Dee Laytner (the first day), fem!Dee (the second day), and Drake (the last day). I want to keep Dee in my line up, whatever else I might do but I kind of want to throw Touko Fukawa from 'Dangan Ronpa' and/or Cecil from 'Welcome to Night Vale' in there somewhere. 'Course, I'll be at Dash Prom in Cecil cosplay anyway... I don't know, I'm just rambling.
Section Three: There is no Section Three. There never was a Section Three. Move along.
That's about the extent of it. Oh, and I watched 'Don't Hug Me I'm Scared' a while ago. Weird video. Really interesting if you think about the deeper meaning but still really weird.
So, yeah. I'm alive, I'm just trying to get back into writing and I kind of suck at updating things.
Okay.
Section One: AugNoWriMo
AugNoWriMo. Is a thing. Which I am doing. This thing. It's a fun thing. It's a thing that you should do, too. Next year. Or this year. Soon. And then forever. Never stop writing.
Section Two: DashCon/Cosplay
Okay, I don't know what happened with Section One but it's typed out now and I'm not changing it.
So...
I'm thinking about my cosplay list for DashCon. I mean, I'm getting Ryo into different fandoms so I wonder if we'll wind up messing with the line up a little. Right now I'm going as Dee Laytner (the first day), fem!Dee (the second day), and Drake (the last day). I want to keep Dee in my line up, whatever else I might do but I kind of want to throw Touko Fukawa from 'Dangan Ronpa' and/or Cecil from 'Welcome to Night Vale' in there somewhere. 'Course, I'll be at Dash Prom in Cecil cosplay anyway... I don't know, I'm just rambling.
Section Three: There is no Section Three. There never was a Section Three. Move along.
That's about the extent of it. Oh, and I watched 'Don't Hug Me I'm Scared' a while ago. Weird video. Really interesting if you think about the deeper meaning but still really weird.
So, yeah. I'm alive, I'm just trying to get back into writing and I kind of suck at updating things.
11.8.13
I am not dead.
I am, however, very tired. I'm pretty sure that my legs and back will not like me by morning. BUT. That's kind of okay because all of the stuff is out of the rental and in the new house and I am so done (like 5000% done) with moving for a good long while now.
Also, I've had an idea for a friendship basket.
Basically, the deal is that a friend of mine and I will make up these small-to-medium sized baskets full of things that we love but are okay parting with (like copies of things we really like and/or things that we've made just for the basket) and then switch them at DashCon. That way, we have a reminder of the trip and we get to know each other a little better through what we filled the baskets with.
I love the idea, really, and I've been working on a list.
Also, I've had an idea for a friendship basket.
Basically, the deal is that a friend of mine and I will make up these small-to-medium sized baskets full of things that we love but are okay parting with (like copies of things we really like and/or things that we've made just for the basket) and then switch them at DashCon. That way, we have a reminder of the trip and we get to know each other a little better through what we filled the baskets with.
I love the idea, really, and I've been working on a list.
- A small book/binder of ramblings/letters/photos/drawings/etc.
- A mixtape/mixCD (are those even cute anymore?)
- 2 scarves (one green and black, one pink and white – need softer yarn for these)
- One Tiger/Bunny plush (they can’t be that hard to make)
- One plush moose (with tag reading 'I moose you')
- One ‘Welcome to Night Vale’ painting on small-to-medium canvas (Welcome to Night Vale)
- One ‘Heart’ painting on small-to-medium canvas (anatomically correct/paint or ink and coloured pencils) - (Depraved Heart Murder at Sanatorium Square)
- Maybe a couple/three duct tape flowers/pens
- Writing! You’re a writer – there should be writing of some kind.
The small book/binder is going to be an on-going thing for the next (almost) year, the mixtape will take a little bit to figure out (since I want to splice in some Night Vale stuff), the scarves are pretty simple to make and the Tiger/Bunny (and the moose) plush shouldn't be too much of a hassle. The paintings, I'm looking forward to even though they'll probably cause me a little trouble before I get them to a point where I'm happy with them. I am prepared for this. Duct tape is a speciality of mine so the flowers aren't a big deal. And the writing... well, I have one story almost done already so... yeah.
That's just a first-draft list but I can't see things changing too much. I like it as is ^^
But yeah, that's about where I am. Awake, writing, planning, wanting to organise things but the paint isn't done yet so I kind of can't - at least not completely. But things are getting done and my room is really cosy so yay~
I appear to have straight A's again and that's nice. Oh, and my grandparents were up to visit for a few days (before turning around and driving two-or-three days back to rest and pack up a moving truck) and it was just so nice to see them again.
And, yeah, this has gotten pretty rambly but I wanted you all to know that I'm all right - it's just that a lot has been going on lately. So... bye for now, everyone, and I will try not to let this blog just sit for so long in the future.
28.7.13
Another 2 AM
I feel like I've used that title before. Anyway.
Have a lot of tears:
'A Letter To Zachary'. It's a really, really good documentary but it's so painful.
I think tonight will be spent listening to Markiplier to cheer myself back up and writing because I need to write a lot more than I do. I need to be kicking so much more ass than I actually am. I totes mcscrotes need to be more awesome. (I'm sorry, I'm sad and I just wanted to use that phrase.)
Basically, this was just because I felt like I needed to update. School only has a couple of weeks left and I am very, very glad. So...
Bye for now, people. I am still alive, I'm just not updating much because we'll be moving soon and that's stressful. But, yeah, I'm still around.
Have a lot of tears:
'A Letter To Zachary'. It's a really, really good documentary but it's so painful.
I think tonight will be spent listening to Markiplier to cheer myself back up and writing because I need to write a lot more than I do. I need to be kicking so much more ass than I actually am. I totes mcscrotes need to be more awesome. (I'm sorry, I'm sad and I just wanted to use that phrase.)
Basically, this was just because I felt like I needed to update. School only has a couple of weeks left and I am very, very glad. So...
Bye for now, people. I am still alive, I'm just not updating much because we'll be moving soon and that's stressful. But, yeah, I'm still around.
17.7.13
Creativity = insanity + talent.
I've been working on the website... all the - *bricked in the head* Why? Why? I hate that song!
No, yeah, I'm actually doing a... a thing with my writing... and some other people's writing. And it's gonna be awesome. But first I have to get through school.
I have about three and a half weeks left and then a six week break (at least, I think it's six weeks) which is really good because I've have bitten my nails down to the point where they bleed and that's just not good at all. Speaking of, I have things to read for that.
I drank a bunch of coffee and now I want to dance and I'm kind of nervous about the world.
And DashCon. I'm nervous about DashCon, too but in that excited way. (If you don't know about DashCon, look it up because it is amazing.) I want to be a total geek and learn the Hare Hare Yukai dance to do with a friend of mine because GEEKS~!
For right now, though, I have things to read and questions to answer, which sort of brings us full circle. So. Bye for now. Expect progress meters to be put up pretty soon - likely without titles because I like keeping the mystery going - and... yeah.
Have an awesome day~
2.7.13
DashCon
This thing. This thing right here.
It's basically tumblrCon and it's in 2014 and the tickets/trip can be my birthday present. I won't ask for anything else - I'm not kidding.
Just wanted to put that out there.
*sigh* Okay...
I still have to read my Philosophy extracts, read my English assignments, post to the boards, edit the next chapter of Twelfth Generation, get as far in Maths as I can, finish reading 'The Smithsonian Institution', and write for Camp NaNoWriMo.
*groan*
I think I'm just going to answer my messages and then try to go to sleep. Get up and work in the morning, when I'm (hopefully) feeling a little less achy and stabby.
It's basically tumblrCon and it's in 2014 and the tickets/trip can be my birthday present. I won't ask for anything else - I'm not kidding.
Just wanted to put that out there.
*sigh* Okay...
I still have to read my Philosophy extracts, read my English assignments, post to the boards, edit the next chapter of Twelfth Generation, get as far in Maths as I can, finish reading 'The Smithsonian Institution', and write for Camp NaNoWriMo.
*groan*
I think I'm just going to answer my messages and then try to go to sleep. Get up and work in the morning, when I'm (hopefully) feeling a little less achy and stabby.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
