Also, 200th post!
Unfortunately, today has been kind of awful. I get why there's so much stress in the house but wow, still.
It's definitely a Monday. I can tell because I just want to scream.
I'm overheated, I want to tear my hair out, I should be working (I'm very aware of this) but really, I'm just like 'Leave me the hell alone' to everyone.
I know it's just today. I'll be fine in the morning. But that isn't much help right now.
I think I'm just tired of it all. Not in a depressed way - in a ticked off way. The problem is that when I'm ticked off, I don't want to do better - I just want to quit because fuck it.
Obviously I can't do that so I'll be going back to work once this is up and hopefully that will keep me from wanting to stab someone.
...
I don't communicate well, I think is a large part of the issue.
Often when I comment about something, I'm not really complaining, I'm just talking. Sure, something might be annoying me but not enough for me to do anything about it.
I talk a lot about things that really don't matter.
Oh, well.
I'll stop feeling annoyed and sorry for myself here pretty soon. (Although I really need to learn to shield better.)
I think what happens is that it all builds up on me. I get distracted easily and when I have something I'm interested in and want to talk about, I wind up not doing anything different since (and this is really, unforgivably stupid part) I'm concerned about other people - about how they perceive me. Because I'm not consistent.
Get through that and I can get through anything. Get though that and I'm golden.
So bye for now, guys. I'll try to get something done tonight (maybe the outline you've been screwing around and not doing? Or the book? The book would be a good call. Even if you are still a little uncomfortable with this particular vampire character. Don't write hunters if you can't write prey).
Here's hoping I can sleep and get this character's voice right and that tomorrow doesn't suck.
*wanders away*
