It's like a pocket watch because you can only pay attention to the gradual passing of the day if you remember to wind it. Otherwise, you're just guessing at the time and constantly late for everything. If you have no sleep schedule, guess what? You're guessing at the time and being constantly late for everything unless you set enough alarms to wake up all of North America, living or dead.
It's like a sheep because... I like sheep.
But that wasn't my point.
My point was the fact that I have no sleep schedule and the lack of a sleep schedule is apparently a pretty big contributor to my general lack of focus and sluggish approach to... well, everything to be perfectly honest.
I feel... clouded. Like nothing's completely real. It's obnoxious, to say the least. But I've taken to writing down notes for things as I think of them rather than just leaving them alone in my head (because I feel like I lack time/talent/etc./whatever) and that seems to be helping slightly. The entire paracosm feels a bit more concrete that way, like I could walk the streets with my eyes open and not be distracted by my hands on the keyboard.
Speaking of, I've been seeing these little flickers out of the corner of my eye recently. Mom's been getting them too, which is slightly comforting, but it's still odd.
All that aside, it is now very late. I have this hibiscus drink from Jamaica (it's actually really good - tastes like honey) and my head is full of vampires.
Things could definitely be worse.
Oh, and I got a really nice message on the NaNo site today:
Sorry to bother! Your story just seems so interesting, I wanted to know how it was going. Do you intend on publishing it? Because I would definitely read it!
Also, I wanted to know if we could be writing buddies? You sound really nice!
Good day to you!
This right here? This is amazing to me. First off because I'm working on a really weird story this year. And, not that you asked, here's the cover for it:
There's a reason the title is spaced like that but that's for me to know and you to (hopefully) find out once this thing is done. Right now, it's a little like trying to push a waterbed out of my brain. That is to say, not exactly fun. In fact, it can be pretty painful. BUT. I said on the forums (in an official 'Finish That Novel Club' thread, no less) that I would get this thing done. And I intend to stick by that. I have a terrible habit of using so many things 'for practice' because I get it in my head that nothing I do is 'good enough' to be published, either by myself or by anyone else.
Thing is, I see some of the absolute shit that gets thrown into the marketplace and I think 'Wow... I might not be so bad after all'. The issue with that is that then I have to actually convince myself that when a story is done, it's done. And when it's done, if you set out to write something that others would be allowed to read, it's time to allow them to read it.
That's where my issue actually is, I think. Letting go of a project. I know I'm 'good enough', objectively. I doubt I'm marketable enough for mainstream but some days even I'm not sure about that. I feel a little like that unnamed musician from Interview With The Vampire who wrote beautiful music which would 'never sell' because it was too dreary.
Lestat liked him. Of course, Lestat also loved Nicolas de Lenfent and we all know how that ended.
Anywho-diddly-doodle, the second reason that message is so amazing to me is just because it's never happened before. They took time out of their day and their own life and their writing to send me that message. Someone I've never even met, never even heard of. Not even sure I've seen them around the forums before.
So that's really cool.
But, yeah, that's where that is. I should be sleeping, I've got vampires on the brain, and... it's a weird night.
There's a reason the title is spaced like that but that's for me to know and you to (hopefully) find out once this thing is done. Right now, it's a little like trying to push a waterbed out of my brain. That is to say, not exactly fun. In fact, it can be pretty painful. BUT. I said on the forums (in an official 'Finish That Novel Club' thread, no less) that I would get this thing done. And I intend to stick by that. I have a terrible habit of using so many things 'for practice' because I get it in my head that nothing I do is 'good enough' to be published, either by myself or by anyone else.
Thing is, I see some of the absolute shit that gets thrown into the marketplace and I think 'Wow... I might not be so bad after all'. The issue with that is that then I have to actually convince myself that when a story is done, it's done. And when it's done, if you set out to write something that others would be allowed to read, it's time to allow them to read it.
That's where my issue actually is, I think. Letting go of a project. I know I'm 'good enough', objectively. I doubt I'm marketable enough for mainstream but some days even I'm not sure about that. I feel a little like that unnamed musician from Interview With The Vampire who wrote beautiful music which would 'never sell' because it was too dreary.
Lestat liked him. Of course, Lestat also loved Nicolas de Lenfent and we all know how that ended.
Anywho-diddly-doodle, the second reason that message is so amazing to me is just because it's never happened before. They took time out of their day and their own life and their writing to send me that message. Someone I've never even met, never even heard of. Not even sure I've seen them around the forums before.
So that's really cool.
But, yeah, that's where that is. I should be sleeping, I've got vampires on the brain, and... it's a weird night.
