Updates

Because a metric buttload has happened.

First off, I get me a little better now. I just spent two weeks with my father and his parents and I kind of get my thought processes a little more now. I got a lot from his side of the family in terms of varied interests (and laziness, apparently). But I have two new sewing machines (a Singer Red Eye and a Nelco) and an Appalachian Lap Dulcimer. It's cool ^^

Over those two weeks, I've made a small quilt and developed a taste for iced coffee. And huckleberry stuff. So that was fun. Montana's kind of nice, actually.

Secondly, writing. I've been wanting to write ALL THE THINGS lately. This includes writing scripts for 'Nucl3arsnake: Hacker Extraordinaire.' Yeah. This is what my life has become... and I kind of love it. I feel like I can just relax and be creative when things like that happen.

Thirdly, cosplay. There are two characters I'd like to get a workable outfit for: Francis Pritchard from Deus Ex: Human Revolution and Johnny C. from Johnny the Homicidal Maniac. I am not a sane person, clearly, but those two just stick in my head.

Fourth: House. We have a house. And such a fine house it is. No, really, I do like the place. It's the exact opposite of what I wanted at first but I still like it.

This is a condensed version of what's been going on but that's basically what my last two weeks have been.

Now, I'm too warm and feeling a little like I want to scream so I think I'll go back upstairs and try not to get in the way anymore than I am already.

This happens a lot but it's still annoying. Wish I knew more how to fix these little personality... things I have.

. . .

Okay, here's how things stack up:

1) I haven't heard back on a certain beta-reading/editing project I was kind of really excited about and that's making me nervous. Everything's probably fine but I just really want to work on this and... ACK! I don't want to be annoying by sending too many messages but I don't have an answer and it's bothering me.

2) (Less serious, technically) I've restarted Camp NaNoWriMo. Why? Because I am a derp who is stressed about point 1 and can't focus. It is now a story about... I don't even know but the words are coming easier on this one so I'm rolling with it :D

3) I've restarted (at least in my own head) the self-published author thing. I've figured out that I don't really care about the money (even though it's nice to have). What I like is the fandom that small things gather - that and just the love of the work.

And 4) (so ranked because it's still in planning stages) I've been clicking away at a Word document filled with information on how authors who plan to self-publish can hire me as a beta-reader/editor with prices at a reasonable level and negotiable based on volume of work and the client's ability to pay. I love to help artists who chose not to go through major companies. That's a very brave thing to do! And it just might be the future of the industry.

But yeah. I'm stressed and I hope I didn't lose that job - I'm sick over that thought, by the way - and I'll be starting school soon (for psychology) and... just yeah. Stress and happiness all rolled into one right now. I'm leaving tomorrow or the next day to start this whole thing and it's just... insane. This all happened amazingly fast and somehow, yes I'm stressed (I wonder how many times I've used that word in this thing?) but I'm not as freaked out about it as I thought I'd be.

Huh.

I'm okay. And it's a weird and wonderful feeling - to be okay.

I'm very jittery inside right now so I'm going to go write for a little while and then we'll see where we are in the morning. *waves*

*HEADDESK*

People seem bound and determined to not let me have a single day where they don't make me cry.

Here's what happened: When I'd written a post on tumblr offering writing/editing/etc services, I didn't really expect anything. So I figured a writing archive wasn't a big deal because no one would care enough to ask. Besides I thought I still had one in case someone did. But I don't.

I've apologised and made it clear to a certain Anon that I did, in fact, intend to work. (I wanted to take some of the stress off of my mother by making money doing things I knew wouldn't make me lock up, like writing and editing and making things.) I just misremembered what I'd deleted and don't have the archive to offer as writing samples anymore. It's one thing to be annoyed at that - that I understand - but it's another entirely to accuse me of using my friends and the people who were kind enough to donate. I'm a lot of things but a cheat isn't one of them.

I've told them as much and apologised again before I shut off anonymous asks. Sick of it. I am sorry I screwed up like that but you don't need to call my character into question over it.

So that's my drama for the day. Camp NaNo is way behind and I'm too annoyed to care right now. I'll care about it later, when I've calmed down.

Thirty-One Days Before

Wondering how sensitive to pain the intestines are. Like pain or pressure from being pressed on, like during surgery.

Anyway...

I went out and got new nail polish (L.A. Colors 'Festive' and 'Lollipop' and Wet 'n' Wild 'Grey's Anatomy') and a bottle of Carnivale perfume. I am happy now. I also wound up with some sliced almonds for my headaches and some walnuts, just because.

Little trip to the ER earlier today but everything's fine. Nobody's hurt or sick or anything, just an easily fixable problem. Still kinda scary though.

As a result, I've been in my room for a while, listening to songs on YouTube and trying to tell myself I'm being productive. Unfortunately, that isn't working so well.

I'm also stupidly hungry and that's just... annoying. I think it's because I can smell things baking. Chocolate things. *drool*

Then I start writing again and lose my appetite... Oh, well ^^

[Later on]

Mum went off to get me something to make my head stop hurting. Yay~ for that. I don't take medication unless I think I really need it and... this is kind of making me feel sick, so I think I probably need it. Ick.

As you can probably tell, this entry was written over the course of a day and so she and grandpa are now back with Advil and jelly beans. And I'm kind of happy about the jelly beans. ^.^

I'm going to go hope my head gets better and maybe work a little bit before I collapse and start drooling into my pillow.

See ya~

Wow

I really need to be writing. Like, on anything. (Too...many...creepy ideas /headexplodes)

I really don't want to lose this month because that would suck. However I may have to borrow Karen's Pickaxe of Despair for the rest of the month. Or at least the Cattle-Prod of Encouragement OTL

*goes to complain on the boards*

UGH!

I am about to tear my hair out.

I don't know how they put up with this guy...girl...thing that's currently rearranging things in my bathroom because it doesn't have enough room for its scale concealer.

Ever since she got here she's been messing with my stuff.

Other than that, I've been so desperate to get away from her that I'm almost done with Script Frenzy (page 93), so I guess she's good for something. Oh and Thomas finally got our Twitter account locked down so when we kick off I won't have to worry as much about marketing.

I should be able to finish Script Frenzy tonight, though. Then in May it's Slayer's International, the Novel! Yay! I think it's a fan story year this time. Everything up to NaNo is a fan story...

And now I have to go see what 'Madame' just broke. Bye for now.