. . .

Okay, here's how things stack up:

1) I haven't heard back on a certain beta-reading/editing project I was kind of really excited about and that's making me nervous. Everything's probably fine but I just really want to work on this and... ACK! I don't want to be annoying by sending too many messages but I don't have an answer and it's bothering me.

2) (Less serious, technically) I've restarted Camp NaNoWriMo. Why? Because I am a derp who is stressed about point 1 and can't focus. It is now a story about... I don't even know but the words are coming easier on this one so I'm rolling with it :D

3) I've restarted (at least in my own head) the self-published author thing. I've figured out that I don't really care about the money (even though it's nice to have). What I like is the fandom that small things gather - that and just the love of the work.

And 4) (so ranked because it's still in planning stages) I've been clicking away at a Word document filled with information on how authors who plan to self-publish can hire me as a beta-reader/editor with prices at a reasonable level and negotiable based on volume of work and the client's ability to pay. I love to help artists who chose not to go through major companies. That's a very brave thing to do! And it just might be the future of the industry.

But yeah. I'm stressed and I hope I didn't lose that job - I'm sick over that thought, by the way - and I'll be starting school soon (for psychology) and... just yeah. Stress and happiness all rolled into one right now. I'm leaving tomorrow or the next day to start this whole thing and it's just... insane. This all happened amazingly fast and somehow, yes I'm stressed (I wonder how many times I've used that word in this thing?) but I'm not as freaked out about it as I thought I'd be.

Huh.

I'm okay. And it's a weird and wonderful feeling - to be okay.

I'm very jittery inside right now so I'm going to go write for a little while and then we'll see where we are in the morning. *waves*