30.7.11

Thoughts on Trans Matters, Duct tape pens and Lazy girl's Grilled Cheese

I wrote 100,000 words in 29 days. Why? Because I am a psycho. And I'm going to take the rest of the month to not stress about these kinds of things...which really doesn't work because I'll be planning and making things and sketching and working on a short story for the next two days until the next cycle of insanity kicks in. Next month is AugNoWriMo, which means another 100k goal for me. Yay?

I usually try not to talk to much about gender and sexuality matters since I know some people don't agree (and that's fine). But I got to thinking about this today. I'm not transsexual but being bigender does technically put me under the Trans umbrella. Some people have a little trouble reconciling Christian beliefs with a desire to change. I do understand why although I look at the world very differently. In my mind, God doesn't make mistakes. So, why are there transsexual people? To me, it's just a test. And to me, you can pass that test by changing. Because it shows that you care about yourself on the inside where it really matters. But that's just me.

Sorry, I just kind of had an epiphany and wanted to share for some reason.

Now, to avoid this getting too serious, I just spent most of the day making duct tape flower pens. And now it feels like my hands are about to fall off. But that's okay because it was actually kind of fun ^^ I have a dozen now and might make a few more in a little while. They make me smile.

And what else was I going to ramble about? Oh, yeah. I was too lazy to actually make a grilled cheese sandwich today so I actually got it in my head to throw a piece of cheese on a bun into the microwave for about ten seconds and eat that. Yes, I really am that lazy.

I didn't actually have much to say this time. People are on my nerves left and right today about all kinds of things so I think I just wanted to type for a little while about something other than a WriMo. Of course, now that AugNo is about to start, I'll be back to rambling about them by the next post but that's not really the point right now.

I've just been feeling bad lately. No real reason for it, I just have. I'll get things straightened around here pretty soon but until then I'm gonna try not to whine at you guys. It bothers me when other people do that so I'll try not to.

I'm just having one of those weird 'You get the choice between being a good person and being successful. It's fine to alter your choice but you cannot be both' moments. I'm also having one of those weird, 'When it's hot like this, you know what I do? I keep my nightclothes in the icebox' moments. I'm pretty sure these two are not related.

26.7.11

I still can't believe I won.

Yes, you read that correctly, I won JulNoWriMo!

Of course, JulNo is by no means done but I don't have to work on it anymore. Which of course means I want to work on it. Camp NaNo is still going pretty well, though. The infection is starting to spread now and Kat's trying to get his information together and figure things out before it gets too bad. So that's kind of interesting. The two Security Agents are outside the system, trying to track down the faulty (possibly planted) piece of code that's causing it so everything's just kind of starting to move along a little better now.

I was having a little trouble focusing yesterday so I'm hoping that's cleared up today. Everything was off yesterday and it was just...ick.

AugNoWriMo has this thing called Milestone (it's a short story anthology) than I'll probably try to get into this year. I know it's nothing too big but it would still be cool to see my name in print. ^^

In other (more personal) news, I was having some pretty bad gender dysphoria yesterday. It's usually not this bad since it's just internal most of the time but it was kind of on my mind the other day. I mean, I suddenly have, like, no clothes I can wear because almost everything makes me feel too feminine. It's just...really annoying.

I don't want to be a guy permanently. I just feel like a guy sometimes. I don't want hormones or surgery or anything like that. I'd just like to be able to dress as and be referred to as a guy during those times. I don't think my family really gets that (well, the ones that know, anyway). I doubt my grandparents would understand at all, though so it's probably best if I just let it alone for a while when I'm around them. I get the feeling that that leads to a few awkward conversations.

But other than that I'm doing pretty well. I think this blog will get updates on Tuesdays and Saturdays mainly (unless something Earth-shattering happens, of course). I have a little schedule for all the sites I'm on so I don't just let them sit there. It's overall pointless but it gets my name out there and makes me seem accessible, so I guess it works in my favour.

I need to wrap this up before I start to ramble. So, bye for now~

24.7.11

My note-taking pen

is awesome ^^






I made it out of duct tape and a normal pen. In other news, Arrow of Eloquence is doing well, though we could always use more members. ^^ I think once word gets around a little more, we'll start seeing more people wondering by.

I have almost hit my goal of 100k. If I work, I can get there by the 25th. And that's insane. Why is it always when you're trying to work on one project that you get ideas for another? It's nice to have the ideas but really brain? You can't pick a better time?

I'm also clicking around the interwebs for a wig. That's not been going well but I haven't been searching for that long. So that's something else on the to-do list.

But it's a new day and I'm gonna try to work with it. 3k will put me at 90k for the month so that's helping out a lot. ^^ It's also really early in the morning so I'm rambling. I'm also starving so that's getting on my nerves.

As for the series I got back from my roommate, I think the first chapter can stay pretty much as-is but I'm seeing an almost total rewrite in my future. Dang. But at least I can go in and fix the things that are bugging me. I think I have a better way to introduce the MMC this time but I think I'm gonna stay in guy-mode and just take some good notes until I get the time to work on it uninterrupted for a while. It's not an easy world to step in and out of so I'll probably wind up working on the train. Problem with that is that writing puts me in girl-mode and I kind of just wanted to be 'that bookish guy' on the ride up. Oh, well. I can work around it.

I hope you all have a very productive day and I will come and spazz at you once I've won something ^^

20.7.11

Life Update

Just heard from a friend of mine, Karen, last night. She's okay, she just got really sick so she hasn't been keeping up with her accounts. She was starting to have some problems with her ankles so I think that might be part of it. I'll be trying to keep her cheered up so if I seem tired or anything in the next few posts, that's probably why. I hope she'll be back to feeling better soon.

In happier news, I decided I can waste time with music and fashion too. By that I mean that I'm in the habit of using CC licensed music (giving credit of course) to put together a novel soundtrack. Yeah. It's really fun though. ^^ I have tracks one through five figured out.

Also, clothes. I have all kinds of sketches from all kinds of stories and I'm getting to the point where I really want to start making things. I'm not sure how far any of this will get but I hope it'll work out.

That was really all I had to say so...back to work I go. *skips away*

18.7.11

*poke*

I don't have a lot to say here.

I've been playing around with sites like jamendo to see if I can't make up a soundtrack for my projects. I spent a little while working on one for Faust and I found some really awesome stuff. It's fun but it's kind of a time-waster. I do have several tracks that sort of help me focus on it though, (Nick's Theme in particular) so I guess it's not all bad.

I'm mainly just typing because I'm really not feeling well (like the, 'nobody likes you anyway so why are you even bothering? All you ever do is screw up. I mean, I'm brilliant. It's just an objective fact but I hate you. It can't be for no reason. You must deserve it.' kind of not feeling well) and my roommate made me cry. I don't think she realised it though. For some reason what she said really hurt. I'm not even sure why.

Oh, well. It happens sometimes. I'm not mad about it or anything.

JulNo's going well, at least. If it stays like this, the finished product might wind up somewhere between 100 and 120k. So that's kind of awesome. There's more to the story than I thought there was and Mercedes is becoming a pretty cool character all around.

I have a sticky note on my desktop that just says 'Don't sleep. If you sleep, you lose.' It's kind of creepy, actually.

So, at 2:30 in the morning, I'm going to sit here, keep typing and try to make myself sick on potato chips. Hope you guys are having a better day.

13.7.11

JulNoWriMo Part 5 - How Am I Still Not Screwed?

I'm actually doing really well and it's freaking me out. I'm at 53,038 right now, which is about 106% done. And that's awesome.

Camp NaNoWriMo Trope of the Month: Wholesome Crossdresser
JulNoWriMo Trope of the Month: Everyone is Bi

Only the first one was planned so it's becoming an interesting month.

I'm actually going to a Barcode Wolves concert on the 16th (OMG, Damien is <3) so I'm trying to get a little ahead so I don't have to scramble so hard to catch up. I wasn't going to go but I found the tickets at an awesome price since they were trying to fill seats so I said 'What the hell' and got them ^^ I'll probably be singing 'Dance With Light' for the rest of the day but that's okay because it promises to be an awesome show.

(If you don't know who they are, don't bother Google-ing them - they don't actually exist. I'm just insane.)

Anypoodle, I need to be getting back to work on...something. Anything, really. Nick's kind of throwing me for a loop with how fast he calmed down after that vision and finding out that [REDACTED] so I'm trying to figure out what to do with him now. I think Faust in Chains is going to be the project I clean up for the proof copy this year. That or Until the Day I Die (which is slated for NaNoWriMo this year). We'll just have to wait and see.

Also, I have way too many categories. I mean, look at that list. Really? 0_o

11.7.11

JulNoWriMo Part 4 - Jezzy Sucks at Focusing

I do! I double do! *bounces* ^.^

Excuse the randomness of the following post. I just wrote about seven thousand words in about five hours.

I... have almost won one whole WriMo this month. Largely by way of typing away like a good little WriRat from midnight until about five freaking AM! My wrists hurt, my back aches and I can't feel my butt. >.>

However. That did push my total word count to just a little over 41,000, which is awesome. ^^ I also have a craving for cake for some weird reason or another. And cupcakes. I want cupcakes.

I think the whole write 1k and switch thing on the projects is gonna work out well. I've already gotten more done in the past few days than I did in the entire beginning of the month. I'm just hoping I can keep it up for a while.

To everyone out there (who bothers to read this) and thinks the whole 100k in one month thing is insane: You're right. But it's fun~ ^.^

8.7.11

JulNoWriMo Part 3 - I Have Confidence

I have confidence in sunshine,
I have confidence in rain,
I have confidence that spring will come again,
Besides which, you see, I have confidence in me!

So, yeah. I'm a little peppy today. ^^

I've been writing, I'm about on pace with where I should be, I'm not freezing...it's a good day. (Well, not for Kevin. Because Kevin just got mauled by a Wall-Dog but that's another story.) JulNo is actually going well. I think the head of the company is probably either the Devil or an alien, I'm not sure which but she's an awful, awful woman. Nick might be going insane and Aiden is becoming a doormat but I think it'll all work out.

Camp NaNoWriMo is finally not giving me nearly as many fits. Things are starting to fall into place in both stories and I couldn't be happier about that. Nara is apparently more skilled at his job than I thought and Delany doesn't seem to pick on him as much as I thought she might. It doesn't seem to go much past the 'occasionally underestimating him because he's a male Security Agent which, in that world, is essentially a guy doing a 'girl's job'' thing. (Or maybe 'girl doing a 'guy's job'' would be more accurate for the kind of treatment he gets. With the females being the stronger socially of the main two genders, when the guys step into dangerous jobs like that, they tend to get picked on.) Kat is developing into a strong, curious and very independent spirit and (much like his father, Marion) I couldn't be happier for him ^^

I'm also kicking around a short story idea but I'm not sure how effective it'll be. I had a really messed up, depressing dream a few mights ago (after watching someone play Polybius - won't be doing that again 0_o) and I feel the need to write it down. I know I won't forget it but I'm not sure if it would read well as a story. Guess I could always try.

What else? I'm back on Last.FM, which is awesome. I'll probably be taking some time off (so far as that's possible during a WriMo) to work on my site which is coming along nicely.

Also, keep your eyes on your Twitter feeds for a special announcement sometime in the next little while. Pretty sure no one actually cares but it makes me feel important to announce it like it's a big deal. So yeah.

If you read this, you've just been Wri-Rolled. Go write a thousand words. Later, Ink-Slingers!

4.7.11

JulNoWriMo Part 2 - Jezzy Sucks at Camp NaNoWriMo

The official three coolest words in the English language right now for me are: Hip Hop Violin. If anyone reads this after 'Faust in Chains' is already out (that would be so awesome) and wondered what Nick's audition for Mellie might have sounded like here you go. As long as the video stays up, that is. If it's not there it's Josh Vietti 'cause he rocks.

That video is proof that YouTube can be a very valuable resource for writers in need. (The More You Know)

Also, I suck at Camp NaNoWriMo. My JulNo is a little ahead of schedule. My Camp WriMo is way behind. But it's not a problem. I'll catch up. After all... I am the pretty WriMo soldier Jezaret Addison, the soldier of love and creativity! And in the name of Sirius, the dog star, I'll win! (Author's note: She's been watching Sailor Moon again. Just go ahead and ignore this.)

There are fireworks going off every five second right outside my window meaning I have to keep stopping because it breaks my concentration. Thanks guys. Really. >.>

On top of all that, my roommates have the TV on in the living room loud enough that I can hear it in my room. I normally don't mind but right now it's really on my nerves. I'm on YouTube blasting 'Hell Frozen Rain' from Silent Hill to drown them out.

Also, as I'm writing this, the JulNo site is down and that makes me sad. Also my hands are freezing and that also makes me sad. A lot of things are making me sad right now, like my apparent inability to spell correctly. (Thank you, spell-check. ILU) So. I'm off to try and catch up on my other project and hopefully the friction from typing will keep the frostbite from destroying my fingers. Bai-bai.

1.7.11

JulNoWriMo Part 1 - Jezzy Sucks at Writing

She does. Or rather 'Jezzy Sucks at Writing on Schedule'.

Jezzy's also writing from a cabin by a lake and really wanting to go swimming even though it's night time. (Read: Jezzy's imagining she's in a cabin by a lake with the rest of writers in Camp because she's actually felling pretty bad and for some reason that triggers her speaking in third-person.)

She has close to 2,000 words done on both her projects and that's good at least. She's also hungry even though she just ate. And also there's the issue of her wanting to make props. Like, sci-fi props for no real reason other than coolness factor. But that would involve getting things (probably from Wal-Mart) and spending money she doesn't have on interlocking floor mats, heat guns and spray paint. So she probably won't be doing that.

Anywho... I think I need to pick a project for right now. When I feel myself slowing down or getting stuck, I'll switch because otherwise I'm just going to wind up bouncing back and forth for no real reason and not getting anything done. Plus I think I might need a new computer soon, which sucks because I really like my little Toshiba.

I want to study. I don't know why but I just really want to study... like I have a class or something. Maybe I have a writing class? *gasp* Maybe I have a writing class I have to keep up with while I'm at Camp. Maybe-Maybe there's a language class in there too. And it's a really progressive school, like a performing arts college that gives you your class list but you're pretty much responsible for everything not taught by an instructor at a set time, you know, since they can gauge your work ethic that way. (This is the way most of my ideas come to me, by the way. Enjoy your little peek into this process 'cause...it's a mess.) And-and there are only a few classes that have a set time since everyone works at their own pace.

Now is so not the time for new ideas but the New Idea Program is still running in the background so I might have to go and copy down the code real quick so I don't lose it.

...

Jezzy Sucks at Staying on Topic. *headdesk*