Okay

This post has lists. Also, I managed to get my old theme back, which is kinda great because I like it.

For tonight:

- Re-watch 'Tiger and Bunny' (Why: FEELINGS)
- Work on website
- WRITE
- Read
- Reply to RP posts

Things I need:

- A good, workable plan that I actually stick to
- More confidence in myself
- A good workout routine
- A space that is completely mine and feels like mine
- A binder (because biogirl + big boobs + gender weirdness = ??? Also for cosplay.)
- A good Japanese language course

Things I want eventually/as I can:

- Coloured jeans
- Striped shirts
- Pinstriped suits
- Scarves
- Killer heels
- Good men's dress shoes
- Corsets
- A good lingerie set or two (because I can)
- A good mix of underwear

I have so many ideas in my head for the house, I can't even function right now. I'm thinking, attitudes are affected by the way we act so all I have to do is keep up the act of being the greatest thing on two legs and, well, maybe it'll start to be a little true as time goes on.

Gah, I wanna go work on the house but it's not even ours yet. *headdesk* Okay. I'm just gonna sit up and work tonight. Finals are over (and I got a 90 on my last Psych test so, yeah). So glad that's over for right now. I have a little break and then 20 credit hours over the summer. I think I'm gonna try to work ahead a little once the online classrooms open up.

/NERD

Anyway. That's where that is. I'm way too full of nachos so I'm gonna curl up and watch TV for a little while and then curl up in bed and write until I get too tired to sting sentences together. I get to sleep in in the morning \(^o^)/

Bye for now, everyone~ Bye for now.

Updates on the List

FantNoWriMo will be in January, June, August, and October.

Script Frenzy in April can still be done but will not be official as the program has been shut down.

Camp NaNoWriMo is in April and July.

But aside from that...

All of my blogs are locked down.
I have serious, life-changing world-domination goals.
I think I've figured out how to clean up the draft effectively.
Now I have to get back on track.

So.

I need an outline for next month. I'm not that worried about it but still, it'd be nice to be a little ahead of the game. Plus, I like that story.

Anyway.

This should probably be a short update so I don't ramble so much.

I have, though, figured out The Book. I think. I hope.

(I was watching a Let's Player named Cry and he just said 'I am adorably tiny! Hell yes!' So I'm sitting here laughing like an idiot. Good moment.)

...

Yeah. this was largely pointless.

I'm gonna go and actually write by book now. So, you know... bye for now, everyone. I shall return. With updates. And...maybe whatever else I can scrounge up that I think it interesting to talk about.

DO ALL THE THINGS!

Mum: 'Was she always this stubborn?'
Grandpa: 'Yep.'
Mum: 'So, you know what you were getting into.'
Grandpa: '...Well, I was young.'

(That exchange had nothing to do with anything - I just thought it was cute.)

So... yeah. I have project blogs to lock down. And I will probably be doing that in fits and starts for the day.

In other news, it's NaNoFiMo - National Novel Finishing Month - which means *throws black and silver confetti* I'll be diving back into the world of what I've so lovingly started referring to as 'The Book'.

This is mainly because 1) I feel  like I should be working on it and 2) that NaNo project needs a break while I untangle the plot threads.

'The Book' should wind up around 85k, I think.

So, yeah. That's the project. And I'm already riddled with self-doubt, which is a very unpleasant feeling, much like soul termites. Any other project and I swear I'd be fine but this one is just nagging at me. And nothing looks right. I think that's my main problem. Nothing I do looks right. It's like I know the story but I can't seem to get my fingers to believe me.

I have a better grasp on it now, I think. Maybe.

There's so much to do - it's just insane.

I'm a little panicky right now but... yeah. That'll fade out I'm pretty sure. I just need to work, right?

Right.

Yeah.

I'm gonna go... do that.

(This is an example of my anxiety-rambling. It doesn't have a point and just eats up space but I can't seem to knock it off.)

I'm actually going to go and work on something now, though. Bye for now, everyone. I will hopefully be back when I feel better.

... I need a list or something.

*collapse*

Ick.

Research and Things

I found this! Now I kind of wish I hadn't. (Seriously, do click the link. It's nothing visually scary. It's an audio presentation on what it's like to have schizophrenia. It gives you about three and a half minutes of 'I'm so glad I'm healthy (or at least don't have this)'. To get the full effect, put your headphones in and close your eyes.)

In other news, it was my grandma's birthday on the 20th. She's 75. I made her this thing:

Cool, huh?

I think it's cool.

Aside from that, I've been thinking about things.

First off, I cleaned out Twitter and tumblr a little (might cut it down even more later - haven't decided on some people) and I'm feeling a bit better.

I'm just in one of those 'DO ALL THE THINGS' moods. Like, here's the desktop for right now (I just started with the calendar so it isn't too filled in yet...)

Pretty creepy, huh?

I think it's awesome.

This is what I'm working with for the new year, so far. I have so many ideas for books and companion books and all kinds of things that I just really wanna work on. It's amazingly frustrating.

Like, I wanna get to a point where I can use GIMP and Blender to make the sets, basically, and then put them all together into a book so I have them. Because that's apparently how my brain works.

Scents and clothes and books and companion things and special editions and... yeah.

What it boils down to is that I want to do everything and would like to have a system in place that would allow me to do that.

Thing is, I have no real idea of what that system should be. So. While I figure it out, expect random updates as things click.

I know Chrome works fine for me, I know my list of ideas thing works fine and I know that having a graph/progress bar helps to keep me working. Aside from that... *shrug*

I wonder if doing another year of WriMos would be a good option. I mean I did get a fair bit done doing that. I'd have to stagger things though, so I had time to edit. Or I could just work around the first draft of the month (FDoTM?). I DON'T KNOW! *headdesk*

(In other news, I had a five-minute laughing fit that resulted in me lying on my bed with my head down, crying and trying to breathe through the messed-up hyena style laugh that I had going on. You know what triggered it? It was kind of a delayed reaction but it was something a Let's Player named 'Cry' said. In one of the little one-episode games he was playing, you have to run through trenches (in WWI) and avoid raptors. It doesn't really make sense in context either - just roll with it. But at one point, two raptors boxed him in and ate him. And he said something to the effect of, 'Aw, there were two of them! They share me!' And for some reason, I thought that was really, really funny. Yeah.)

I'm gonna take today and try to come up with some kind of system that I don't actually hate. You will be notified of any progress.

Bye for now, guys. I'm closing in on 40k so I'm gonna go... do that.

*waves*

DO ALL THE THINGS!

Section One: Organisation

Things have been organised. And I mean really organised. Like, I have a 'tags' page on my tumblr now. So people can like, get to specific shit. It's really weird.

My bookmarks aren't a cluttered mess anymore, my blogs are slowly getting organised... I just don't know what to do with myself anymore.

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that the trick is to jump in and work - and I mean work a lot - when you feel like working on something. Things get done, you feel good and you don't have to fight through things you really hate because, at the moment, everything is fun.

Use those moments. Those moments are totally your friends.

Section Two: Writing

Section 2-A: NaNoWriMo

NaNo is coming along nicely. There's much more legal drama in the mix than I thought there would be originally and, even with as little as I know about the legal system (bad writer! no chocolate!) it's actually really fun. MMC is... insane. As most of my main characters are. And FMC is level-headed on the surface but a little neurotic and weird in her own way. So that's just a cool mix.

Currently, I'm sitting at about 15k. I'm thinking I might try to write a little before I fall on my face. (It's either really late or really early here.)

Section 2-B: Scripts

As of this writing, there are two progress bars located in the sidebar. If you haven't noticed them, please to be noticing them now.

One is for 'Demonology' (it's Criminal Minds/NCIS... with demons. And shifters. And psychology. And politics. And crazy crap.) The other is for 'Mortuary Boys' (because hot blond mortician leading his creepy, funeral home family + striking up a friendship/romance/IDEK with a kind of hot and suitably messed-up cop = awesome... at least it does at one in the morning. My math might be off at this hour.).

(Actually, there really is a lot of plot involved in both of these, I'm just too tired and winding down a little too quickly to really explain it well right now.)

Section Three: Learning

LEARN ALL THE CREEPY THINGS!

At least that's what my brain has been telling me to do for the last little while. Like, for example, funeral homes cremate the larger clientele first thing in the morning to avoid what amounts to a grease fire in the crematory. See, if there's an excess of fatty tissue on a body and they're cremated late in the day, they might cremate too quickly and that results in a lot of black smoke and other nasty things.

So.

A crematory is lined with bricks. These bricks are stone cold in the early morning and hence heat at a slow, even pace, allowing larger bodies to cremate correctly. If it's done later in the day, the bricks are already warm and holding heat, which means 'WHOOSH'. Up in smoke.

That's just one of the weird-ass things I know now. Cool, huh?

Also, math. I have to relearn math. But that's actually been going better than I thought it would. So, you know, yay!

Section Four: Crafts and Fashion and Crap Like That

Yeah.

I kinda wanna get back on the whole fashion design/crochet/craft thing. I mean, it was really fun and then I just kind of... fell out of it somehow. Sad.

I have so many ideas but whenever I have the time, I'm like 'Meh'. I find that kind of depressing. I mean, yeah, I wanna do things I enjoy but that's the thing - I want to do things I enjoy. Because they're fun. What happened to that?

So yeah.

That was my update for now. That was also a look into why I don't blog while tired, as entertaining as it might be.

But, really, this isn't that much. I just need to get my head around the concept of 'one thing at a time'.

In the spirit of that, and since I have actual work to try to tackle tomorrow, I should probably let you go back to... whatever it was you were doing.

Bye for now, guys. I hope you enjoyed the rambling, pointless and overly-tired update.

*waves* *collapses*

Twenty-Four: Insomnia

or 'How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love YouTube'

Really, I've learned enough algebra from YouTube that my math books don't scare me as much anymore. So, you know, yay!

I found an hour-long algebra video on there today and I wanted to do a back-flip. I'm becoming such a geek - it's great! XD

I'm kind of jangly in the nerve department right now but it's all good.

I'm hoping that I can just stay up today and sleep tonight and that somehow, magically, that will fix my f-ed up sleep schedule. Because it's really not helping my temperament.

Okay.

What do I have that should be getting worked on right now?

- One book (I need at least fifty pages... and I randomly thought that the human lead would probably taste like pleasantly stale coffee if you kissed him. I have no idea why 0.o)
- One new outline (to start on)
- One paper (one chapter/section shouldn't take me too long, if I'm focused on it)

I also have a book I need to finish reading. (It's good and I'm not sure why I haven't finished it yet. Weird.)

I still need to go driving, too.

Wow. I think the coffee might be kicking in. *wiggles*

Also, I forgot I had a Wordpress site. I might try to do something with that if I can stop hating the interface long enough. It wouldn't be a blog since I already have this one and tumblr, so it might be more of a small website than anything.

Anyway. That's something else on the to-do list.

Along with my now 102 ideas, losing weight, getting in better shape (so I can haul around bodies all day. You know... mortician.) and a host of other things I'm probably forgetting about.

But for right now, my mood is decidedly:

(Thanks to Hyperbole and a Half, ladies and gentlemen, for bringing 'X all the Y' into our lives! The blog is awesome; go read it.)

So. Yeah.

I should probably actually go and work on something, huh? Probably.

Bye for now, everyone! Bye for now.

Seventeen: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JEZZY!

No. I am not sorry for yelling.

But yes, it is, in fact, my birthday. I am Libra, hear me roar!

Or whatever.

*sigh*

I just want to go and, like, start a little publishing company. And we'd eventually expand to include a little film company and a fashion/makeup/perfume brand. And then I'd get to live in my fictional worlds and not have to worry about things like birthdays or any facet of real life aside from death and taxes.

Maybe it's like a birthday wish or something?

I don't know.

...

These headphones are a little tinny but at least I can hear out of both sides. So, you know, yay.

I get pizza for dinner, too. And a cake.

Also, I have pumpkins:

The bandages are so I don't tear up my hands crocheting. The yarn dragging across my hand gives me like this rug burn kind of thing.

But yeah, I made pumpkins.

Here they are again:

Okay? Okay.

And then I started wondering about hair products. Like, why are we spending money on things to make our hair softer when a vinegar rinse does the same thing? I mean, you can't use it all the time, but still.

Besides a lot of shampoo and conditioner... I don't know, I almost feel like it dries my hair out... Although, there's a brand called 'Yes to Carrots' that might not do that since it's natural. Anyway. Random thought.

I've been looking into random things like that. Just 'cause I can.

Also, wikispaces. Basically it's like Wikipedia but anyone can get on there and do their own thing. I'm thinking it could be a really good way to give out a lot of background information on characters and things like that. People love digging into the gears and guts of stories they love.

*sigh*

Screw it. I'm doing this artist thing. I'm sick of just talking about an idea I think is viable so FILDI.

(If you're not sure what that means, it stands for 'Fuck it; Let's do it.' I find it's a very useful acronym. Adopt yours today!)

This actually works out perfectly since I'll have time to do things and get things set up before the move so I'm not trying to scramble around school and maybe an outside, part-time job when we get settled. If nothing else I'll at least be a little clear on what exactly I'll have to do.

I'd just love it if my ideas had a home somewhere and, for personal reasons, I don't want an agent so my own company would be a pretty awesome step. (Note: I have researched this before; it's really not that hard to do anymore.) I could do a lot with an imprint. Maybe I can get other things out there too, not just writing. I mean I have a lot of crafty, artsy stuff too. Who knows?

I don't know, I'm just feeling all optimistic and wanting to work on things and crap such as that.

I might not be as loud about this later but I do still want to do something with it. I just need to get things started. Once things are started, I can usually keep them going, it's just that initial shove that... sometimes doesn't work so well.

But yeah. That was my 'I'm gonna do something awesome' moment for the day. Hopefully it sticks around for a while and things don't end up like this:

Life:

Me: OMGRUN!!!

Because that has been known to happen. Quite a bit.

I'm actually a little more like this right now:

I'm not entirely sure what today is going to consist of but I can be reasonably sure that it will be some degree of awesome.

Bye for now, guys. Have an amazing day ^^ and this 20-year-old (holy mother of NO) will see you all later.