This post has lists. Also, I managed to get my old theme back, which is kinda great because I like it.
For tonight:
- Re-watch 'Tiger and Bunny' (Why: FEELINGS)
- Work on website
- WRITE
- Read
- Reply to RP posts
Things I need:
- A good, workable plan that I actually stick to
- More confidence in myself
- A good workout routine
- A space that is completely mine and feels like mine
- A binder (because biogirl + big boobs + gender weirdness = ??? Also for cosplay.)
- A good Japanese language course
Things I want eventually/as I can:
- Coloured jeans
- Striped shirts
- Pinstriped suits
- Scarves
- Killer heels
- Good men's dress shoes
- Corsets
- A good lingerie set or two (because I can)
- A good mix of underwear
I have so many ideas in my head for the house, I can't even function right now. I'm thinking, attitudes are affected by the way we act so all I have to do is keep up the act of being the greatest thing on two legs and, well, maybe it'll start to be a little true as time goes on.
Gah, I wanna go work on the house but it's not even ours yet. *headdesk* Okay. I'm just gonna sit up and work tonight. Finals are over (and I got a 90 on my last Psych test so, yeah). So glad that's over for right now. I have a little break and then 20 credit hours over the summer. I think I'm gonna try to work ahead a little once the online classrooms open up.
/NERD
Anyway. That's where that is. I'm way too full of nachos so I'm gonna curl up and watch TV for a little while and then curl up in bed and write until I get too tired to sting sentences together. I get to sleep in in the morning \(^o^)/
Bye for now, everyone~ Bye for now.
Showing posts with label gender-y bender-y stuff. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gender-y bender-y stuff. Show all posts
19.6.13
15.1.13
Gender Coding, Villains, and Mental Disturbance
Let me start by saying that I read far too much into things. I also just read far too much. All this is is something that I noticed after looking at the JTHM comics (by Johnen Vasquez) panel by panel and (sort of) de-constructing their construction, I guess would be a decent way to say it.
Of course, then I got to thinking about the wider implications and realised just how common a trend this actually is.
There's a lot that posing communicates and there are a set of ingrained codes in our society that attempt to compartmentalise and make sense of these codes and signals. This is particularly obvious in advertising when a message has to be communicated quickly. (The documentary 'The Codes of Gender' explains this amazingly well.)
Anyway, for the purposes of this post, I went though the comic and picked out a few panels and poses I found interesting.
Let's look at Johnny, since he's the villain protagonist.
(Johnny isn't well, in case you haven't guessed.)
Now, this is a panel from page three of the segment 'Goblins' in Volume 2. This is one of the clearest images I've found to illustrate a point I thought was interesting - namely, when a character is seen as mentally unwell, a lot of our expectations of them change. For example, if Johnny were perfectly sane, this pose would be seen as almost abrasively feminine (that is to say weak, unsure, and submissive).
Taking this pose out of context, it looks very odd (and not just because of Vazquez's unique art style). From the ground up, Johnny is off-balance. He has one leg up and bent - possibly with his heel against his knee - which is similar to advertising depicting a model grabbing the heel of her shoe while balanced on one foot. His hands are clasped behind his back in a manner similar to a small child and his head is down while he's looking away.
All in all, it's very similar to adverts that use female models and - with no context to remove the expected connection - looks weak, submissive, and completely out of place on a male.
(It's worth noting that I do not in any way mean to imply that femininity equates to weak, unsure, submissive or anything of the sort. It's simply the expected connotation in the world of advertising and in media at large more often than not. Very unfortunate but interesting from a psychological standpoint.)
There's also the manner of how he interacts with his world. Often, most clearly when he's killing (which happens quite often), his body language changes but not completely. One example might be the way he handled the gun in the JTSM segment from Volume 2.
While this one may be justified given Johnny's dislike of guns, there's still the lighter touch being used here. He's holding the gun with just his thumb and forefinger, which is not a powerful grip, and seems to only have his fingertips on the slide.
Moreover, Johnny is seen again and again in these kind of off-balance, canting poses. He stands with his head tilted (sometimes with a hand on his face or shoulder)
or is shown lying down in a slightly child-like way (occasionally with a pen or pencil in his mouth)
or sits with his legs up in the air in a similar fashion to a Vargas drawing.
But here's the interesting part: despite all of this, Johnny's more feminine poses are not read as feminine - at least not consistently and out of universe.
The reason may be something to so with the way mental disturbance (or the perception of mental disturbance) changes what we expect from someone. Most of what we were brought up to know about gender coding goes out the window when we meet someone who doesn't fit the mould. Johnny, a frequent victim of bullying, is a good example of that (even though, in universe, the reasons for this torment are quite different, I still felt it was interesting to note.)
I've seen this in my own work as well - when someone is 'off' in some way, these codes fall flat and are impossible to read. Often, villains especially are given a more recognisably feminine manner than heroes as a way to make them seem unnerving. This isn't so much a slam against women or against the homosexual community - it just goes against the ingrained codes of gender and so makes many people feel some degree of uneasy because the coding seems faulty and out of step with what we've been taught to see as normal. The Joker from Batman is a great example of this, as are many other well known villains.
In 'Johnny the Homicidal Maniac', Johnny is clearly insane, which makes his off-balance posing and non-standard coding more acceptable as he is the villain in that world. In media, this is not an uncommon device to use as it serves to unsettle most of the target audience, which is usually young men. Movies and shows aimed primarily at young men tend to have villains who code feminine or at least androgynous whereas shows and movies aimed at women, when they do have villains, they are often depicted as brutes and code unmistakably masculine. This re-enforces the idea that we have strong and weak, masculine and feminine, and that the opposite sex is always out to hurt you, cause you pain or distress, or make you weak or afraid.
I can't say whether or not this may contribute to the apparent internalised misogyny, misandry, and homophobia but I wouldn't be surprised if it did to some degree.
What it all boils down to is that going against these societal gender codes causes most people discomfort. This is a good thing. I'd advise you to explore your world and why you (and your characters) act the why they do. What are you trying to convey? What are you trying to make your reader feel? What would you expect to feel? What really makes a man or a woman... a man or a woman? Or better yet, what makes a person a person?
(*Please note that all of this is only my opinion - likely to be just as flawed as anyone else's. I may come up with a post explaining the difference between sex, gender, gender expression, sexual orientation, etc. in the next little while as well. If I'm going to ramble like this, I can at least be informative, right?)
Of course, then I got to thinking about the wider implications and realised just how common a trend this actually is.
There's a lot that posing communicates and there are a set of ingrained codes in our society that attempt to compartmentalise and make sense of these codes and signals. This is particularly obvious in advertising when a message has to be communicated quickly. (The documentary 'The Codes of Gender' explains this amazingly well.)
Anyway, for the purposes of this post, I went though the comic and picked out a few panels and poses I found interesting.
Let's look at Johnny, since he's the villain protagonist.
(Johnny isn't well, in case you haven't guessed.)
Now, this is a panel from page three of the segment 'Goblins' in Volume 2. This is one of the clearest images I've found to illustrate a point I thought was interesting - namely, when a character is seen as mentally unwell, a lot of our expectations of them change. For example, if Johnny were perfectly sane, this pose would be seen as almost abrasively feminine (that is to say weak, unsure, and submissive).
Taking this pose out of context, it looks very odd (and not just because of Vazquez's unique art style). From the ground up, Johnny is off-balance. He has one leg up and bent - possibly with his heel against his knee - which is similar to advertising depicting a model grabbing the heel of her shoe while balanced on one foot. His hands are clasped behind his back in a manner similar to a small child and his head is down while he's looking away.
All in all, it's very similar to adverts that use female models and - with no context to remove the expected connection - looks weak, submissive, and completely out of place on a male.
(It's worth noting that I do not in any way mean to imply that femininity equates to weak, unsure, submissive or anything of the sort. It's simply the expected connotation in the world of advertising and in media at large more often than not. Very unfortunate but interesting from a psychological standpoint.)
There's also the manner of how he interacts with his world. Often, most clearly when he's killing (which happens quite often), his body language changes but not completely. One example might be the way he handled the gun in the JTSM segment from Volume 2.
While this one may be justified given Johnny's dislike of guns, there's still the lighter touch being used here. He's holding the gun with just his thumb and forefinger, which is not a powerful grip, and seems to only have his fingertips on the slide.
Moreover, Johnny is seen again and again in these kind of off-balance, canting poses. He stands with his head tilted (sometimes with a hand on his face or shoulder)
or is shown lying down in a slightly child-like way (occasionally with a pen or pencil in his mouth)
or sits with his legs up in the air in a similar fashion to a Vargas drawing.
But here's the interesting part: despite all of this, Johnny's more feminine poses are not read as feminine - at least not consistently and out of universe.
The reason may be something to so with the way mental disturbance (or the perception of mental disturbance) changes what we expect from someone. Most of what we were brought up to know about gender coding goes out the window when we meet someone who doesn't fit the mould. Johnny, a frequent victim of bullying, is a good example of that (even though, in universe, the reasons for this torment are quite different, I still felt it was interesting to note.)
I've seen this in my own work as well - when someone is 'off' in some way, these codes fall flat and are impossible to read. Often, villains especially are given a more recognisably feminine manner than heroes as a way to make them seem unnerving. This isn't so much a slam against women or against the homosexual community - it just goes against the ingrained codes of gender and so makes many people feel some degree of uneasy because the coding seems faulty and out of step with what we've been taught to see as normal. The Joker from Batman is a great example of this, as are many other well known villains.
In 'Johnny the Homicidal Maniac', Johnny is clearly insane, which makes his off-balance posing and non-standard coding more acceptable as he is the villain in that world. In media, this is not an uncommon device to use as it serves to unsettle most of the target audience, which is usually young men. Movies and shows aimed primarily at young men tend to have villains who code feminine or at least androgynous whereas shows and movies aimed at women, when they do have villains, they are often depicted as brutes and code unmistakably masculine. This re-enforces the idea that we have strong and weak, masculine and feminine, and that the opposite sex is always out to hurt you, cause you pain or distress, or make you weak or afraid.
I can't say whether or not this may contribute to the apparent internalised misogyny, misandry, and homophobia but I wouldn't be surprised if it did to some degree.
What it all boils down to is that going against these societal gender codes causes most people discomfort. This is a good thing. I'd advise you to explore your world and why you (and your characters) act the why they do. What are you trying to convey? What are you trying to make your reader feel? What would you expect to feel? What really makes a man or a woman... a man or a woman? Or better yet, what makes a person a person?
(*Please note that all of this is only my opinion - likely to be just as flawed as anyone else's. I may come up with a post explaining the difference between sex, gender, gender expression, sexual orientation, etc. in the next little while as well. If I'm going to ramble like this, I can at least be informative, right?)
16.11.12
I have too many ideas
I really do. I mean I'm glad for them but still, calm down, brain 0.o
Like, it's really bad when I have an idea but I don't have a title so I can't figure out where to put it on my chart thing. That's really annoying.
That chart is up to 108 now.
Yeah. 108 ideas that I need to be working on.
Along with all the shows and movies I want to watch and things I want to read and things I want to make and just... wow. I spend way too much time not doing anything at all, you know?
I think the second draft of Heavy Rain is going to wind up more from Randy's point of view. He's a lot easier for me to write for, for some reason. His scenes usually flow a lot easier than Emily's do.
Oh, well. Looks like I'm...
(•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)
...a randy bastard.
(I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Like, really really sorry. It's horrifically late here and OMG, I'm stupid right now.)
Anyway.
Since it's late and I'm anxious, I'll either wind up writing a lot or watching several shows that I've been meaning to either start or finish watching for like, ever. It's probably going to be a little bit of both actually.
Actually, probably a lot of both. Both of those things. Really, all. All of those things since there's several shows I want to watch and, you know... things to read. And I kind of want to get the first draft done so I can edit the living hell out of it.
But yeah. Restless, anxious, thirsty as all hell. That's me right now.
One good piece of news: My grandfather yesterday said that he thinks the world of me and that nothing could change that. My mum later extrapolated that into telling me not to worry about 'pronouns, dress code, gay/straight/bi' or anything like that. As much as I try not to let people's opinions get to me, your family is always a little different, you know?
So that... that was really good to know. I'm like... underneath all the anxious mermaid stuff right now I'm like, so relieved. I mean, I'm still not overjoyed at being in the desert (largely because I love rain and this place is drier than Oscar Wilde) but that really does help.
So, yeah, currently (and I say currently because, you know, fluidity): Jezaret/Jezzy or Vincent/Vince, agender/genderqueer, bisexual.
(That's not so hard, now is it?) <- Look, he's talking to himself.
See? ^^^ That doesn't even look weird to me! *collapse* I need to get used to people not thinking I'm insane. *GASP* That's Randy's problem! (Well, most of it anyway.) He has no idea what to do now that people aren't looking at him like he's psycho. His own brand of randomness and weirdness and 'sleep-deprived Goth 'starvation artist' who drives a hearse' has become his identity and now it's become normal. The issue? Randy hates being normal.
I figured it out! I am a king!
Really, that... that really did help a lot. I know where I'm going now. Awesome.
I actually kind of can't wait to edit this thing. Plus I have another project lined up and I get to help someone by working on that one so that's cool.
Wow. You know, I think this was why I wasn't too crazy about my last few entries here. I either a) wasn't sleep-deprived enough, b) wasn't relaxed enough or c) was just over-thinking things in general. Things are so much more fun when you don't over-think them.
So, bye for now guys. I will hopefully stay on this little groove of mine and be back to bother you all soon~
Like, it's really bad when I have an idea but I don't have a title so I can't figure out where to put it on my chart thing. That's really annoying.
That chart is up to 108 now.
Yeah. 108 ideas that I need to be working on.
Along with all the shows and movies I want to watch and things I want to read and things I want to make and just... wow. I spend way too much time not doing anything at all, you know?
I think the second draft of Heavy Rain is going to wind up more from Randy's point of view. He's a lot easier for me to write for, for some reason. His scenes usually flow a lot easier than Emily's do.
Oh, well. Looks like I'm...
(•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)
...a randy bastard.
(I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Like, really really sorry. It's horrifically late here and OMG, I'm stupid right now.)
Anyway.
Since it's late and I'm anxious, I'll either wind up writing a lot or watching several shows that I've been meaning to either start or finish watching for like, ever. It's probably going to be a little bit of both actually.
Actually, probably a lot of both. Both of those things. Really, all. All of those things since there's several shows I want to watch and, you know... things to read. And I kind of want to get the first draft done so I can edit the living hell out of it.
But yeah. Restless, anxious, thirsty as all hell. That's me right now.
One good piece of news: My grandfather yesterday said that he thinks the world of me and that nothing could change that. My mum later extrapolated that into telling me not to worry about 'pronouns, dress code, gay/straight/bi' or anything like that. As much as I try not to let people's opinions get to me, your family is always a little different, you know?
So that... that was really good to know. I'm like... underneath all the anxious mermaid stuff right now I'm like, so relieved. I mean, I'm still not overjoyed at being in the desert (largely because I love rain and this place is drier than Oscar Wilde) but that really does help.
So, yeah, currently (and I say currently because, you know, fluidity): Jezaret/Jezzy or Vincent/Vince, agender/genderqueer, bisexual.
(That's not so hard, now is it?) <- Look, he's talking to himself.
See? ^^^ That doesn't even look weird to me! *collapse* I need to get used to people not thinking I'm insane. *GASP* That's Randy's problem! (Well, most of it anyway.) He has no idea what to do now that people aren't looking at him like he's psycho. His own brand of randomness and weirdness and 'sleep-deprived Goth 'starvation artist' who drives a hearse' has become his identity and now it's become normal. The issue? Randy hates being normal.
I figured it out! I am a king!
Really, that... that really did help a lot. I know where I'm going now. Awesome.
I actually kind of can't wait to edit this thing. Plus I have another project lined up and I get to help someone by working on that one so that's cool.
Wow. You know, I think this was why I wasn't too crazy about my last few entries here. I either a) wasn't sleep-deprived enough, b) wasn't relaxed enough or c) was just over-thinking things in general. Things are so much more fun when you don't over-think them.
So, bye for now guys. I will hopefully stay on this little groove of mine and be back to bother you all soon~
2.11.12
A Random Assortment of Things
Section One:
Try to hold on to those painful and touching moments in your life. Try to hold on to moments like when a woman you'd never met bought you candy to bring your blood sugar up because you were feeling light-headed or that day when you watched your 80-year-old grandfather stoop to put a dish of water down for his ill cat.
Try to hold on to things that restore your faith in humanity.
Section Two:
Writing is hard.
But really freaking fun.
Chapter two starts with a funeral.
Of course, it does. Moving on. I have a word count tracker thing in the sidebar. It is awesome. I love being able to keep track of things like this. I just like progress bars in general, I think.
Currently, I'm on Chapter Two and a little over 3k in. So yeah. Awesome. Plus, Randy is probably my favourite character right now. He's just... so screwed up but he's aware of it and is kind of... I don't know, happy about it?
Of course, Emily and Jenna are fun to work with too. Because I get to write things like this:
Jenna was quiet for several minutes then. Apparently whatever she was thinking was fairly vivid in her mind because it usually took at least one piece of duct tape to keep her quiet for long. “But there are a limited number of ways to be happy,” she said. “Sadness is infinite.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that everyone who’s happy seems to be happy in one of a few ways – their job, their family, something they can do, you know – but everyone who’s unhappy is unhappy in their own way.”
Emily took to kicking at the leaves as, caught by the wind, they swirled around her boots. “I guess you could say that. But then, wouldn’t it just be a matter of finding the opposite of your unhappiness?”
“The inverse of depression?”
“Right. Even if unhappiness is unique and there are a finite number of ways to be happy, there would still be at least one way that would cancel, right?”
“Maybe.” Jenna laced her fingers behind her head. “But what about people who are happy in their unhappiness? Isn’t their depression its inverse at that point?”
Emily hummed, thought for a moment and answered, “More of an inequality at that point, I’d think. Depression and happiness are in unequal quantities there.”
“But there is a measure of comfort to be had,” Jenna reminded her, her steps slowing. “That might just cancel out the inequality. And even if it’s an inequality, a tipped scale is more visually interesting.”
“You’d be a wonderful philosopher,” Emily said as they stopped in front of her building.
Jenna smiled. “Nah. I think I gave myself a headache.”
(Total first draft but still, it's an interesting conversation. I like the fact that it basically ends with 'Or not. IDK.' like so much of life.)
But yeah. That's where that is. I love slower stuff like this sometimes.
So. I'm going to go ahead and get back to it. Because I kind of left Randy in the rain near several people who might try to beat him to a bloody pulp if they knew he was there. So, yeah.
Section Three:
There is no section three. There never was a section three. Move along.
Section Four:
I might be screwing around with that side bar, just to be sure that everything is all even and pretty and easy to read. I just really like having things organised and I tend to spend an obscene amount of time getting them organised.
I'm using word meters from here and they're kind of awesome. I need to work out how to update them without going back to the site but that's not too annoying. I'm not totally happy with the order but I can work that out later. Along with everything else.
I'm actually really happy to have stuff like that to do. I can get things set up and not feel like I have so much to do that I get all overwhelmed and junk.
I'd like to learn graphic design too, I think. It's nothing that I really need right now but I think it'd be cool to know.
Section Five:
Yes, the Name/Nickname/Title thing on the side is right. I really don't give a dang about gender so I don't care what people call me/how people see me. If you want to see me as a kind of femme guy, that's cool. If I'm not, that's cool too. I'll answer to anything, so, you know, *shrugs*
(Basically, what it comes down to is if I want to wear a dress, I will. If I want to wear a suit, I will. I guess it's technically agender or genderqueer (different people have different definitions of genderqueer) with fluctuating presentations. So. There was your bit of personal information for the day.)
I said I was just gonna be me and I'm trying to just stick to it and not worry. If someone doesn't like you, that's their problem, right? Right.
So, bye for now, guys. Bye for now. I hope you have an awesome day.
Try to hold on to those painful and touching moments in your life. Try to hold on to moments like when a woman you'd never met bought you candy to bring your blood sugar up because you were feeling light-headed or that day when you watched your 80-year-old grandfather stoop to put a dish of water down for his ill cat.
Try to hold on to things that restore your faith in humanity.
Section Two:
Writing is hard.
But really freaking fun.
Chapter two starts with a funeral.
Of course, it does. Moving on. I have a word count tracker thing in the sidebar. It is awesome. I love being able to keep track of things like this. I just like progress bars in general, I think.
Currently, I'm on Chapter Two and a little over 3k in. So yeah. Awesome. Plus, Randy is probably my favourite character right now. He's just... so screwed up but he's aware of it and is kind of... I don't know, happy about it?
Of course, Emily and Jenna are fun to work with too. Because I get to write things like this:
Jenna was quiet for several minutes then. Apparently whatever she was thinking was fairly vivid in her mind because it usually took at least one piece of duct tape to keep her quiet for long. “But there are a limited number of ways to be happy,” she said. “Sadness is infinite.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that everyone who’s happy seems to be happy in one of a few ways – their job, their family, something they can do, you know – but everyone who’s unhappy is unhappy in their own way.”
Emily took to kicking at the leaves as, caught by the wind, they swirled around her boots. “I guess you could say that. But then, wouldn’t it just be a matter of finding the opposite of your unhappiness?”
“The inverse of depression?”
“Right. Even if unhappiness is unique and there are a finite number of ways to be happy, there would still be at least one way that would cancel, right?”
“Maybe.” Jenna laced her fingers behind her head. “But what about people who are happy in their unhappiness? Isn’t their depression its inverse at that point?”
Emily hummed, thought for a moment and answered, “More of an inequality at that point, I’d think. Depression and happiness are in unequal quantities there.”
“But there is a measure of comfort to be had,” Jenna reminded her, her steps slowing. “That might just cancel out the inequality. And even if it’s an inequality, a tipped scale is more visually interesting.”
“You’d be a wonderful philosopher,” Emily said as they stopped in front of her building.
Jenna smiled. “Nah. I think I gave myself a headache.”
(Total first draft but still, it's an interesting conversation. I like the fact that it basically ends with 'Or not. IDK.' like so much of life.)
But yeah. That's where that is. I love slower stuff like this sometimes.
So. I'm going to go ahead and get back to it. Because I kind of left Randy in the rain near several people who might try to beat him to a bloody pulp if they knew he was there. So, yeah.
Section Three:
There is no section three. There never was a section three. Move along.
Section Four:
I might be screwing around with that side bar, just to be sure that everything is all even and pretty and easy to read. I just really like having things organised and I tend to spend an obscene amount of time getting them organised.
I'm using word meters from here and they're kind of awesome. I need to work out how to update them without going back to the site but that's not too annoying. I'm not totally happy with the order but I can work that out later. Along with everything else.
I'm actually really happy to have stuff like that to do. I can get things set up and not feel like I have so much to do that I get all overwhelmed and junk.
I'd like to learn graphic design too, I think. It's nothing that I really need right now but I think it'd be cool to know.
Section Five:
Yes, the Name/Nickname/Title thing on the side is right. I really don't give a dang about gender so I don't care what people call me/how people see me. If you want to see me as a kind of femme guy, that's cool. If I'm not, that's cool too. I'll answer to anything, so, you know, *shrugs*
(Basically, what it comes down to is if I want to wear a dress, I will. If I want to wear a suit, I will. I guess it's technically agender or genderqueer (different people have different definitions of genderqueer) with fluctuating presentations. So. There was your bit of personal information for the day.)
I said I was just gonna be me and I'm trying to just stick to it and not worry. If someone doesn't like you, that's their problem, right? Right.
So, bye for now, guys. Bye for now. I hope you have an awesome day.
2.9.12
Zombies
and doctors. Not zombie doctors, mind, just a healthy mix of zombies and doctors. That's what this month is about.
I hope.
Anywho... What can I say really? My driving instructor gives me the vibe of being a condescending, self-aggrandizing prick, I start school this month, I'm slowly becoming obsessed with Les Miz and theatre in general and I really need to start writing again.
Thankfully, I have a fix for the last one: SeptNoWriMo
Yes, SeptNo - the month I almost killed my hands over last year. So, on top of everything else, that should be fun. I think I'll take tomorrow off (as much as I can) and just write. Like, just listen to Les Miz songs and write. I think... after everything that's been going on, I kind of need that.
I know things will even out - they always do. It's just rough right now. In a lot of ways. In stressful school ways and in 'The name's Vincent. Don't forget it, okay?' ways. (Speaking of, I'd love to find a decent suit that wasn't horribly expensive. Or even a few good dress shirts. I'm feeling a little trapped.)
So... this post has taken me forever and I think it's time for me to go to sleep for a while.
Bye for now, guys. I'll check in later and hopefully I'll be feeling better overall.
Writing usually helps.
I hope.
Anywho... What can I say really? My driving instructor gives me the vibe of being a condescending, self-aggrandizing prick, I start school this month, I'm slowly becoming obsessed with Les Miz and theatre in general and I really need to start writing again.
Thankfully, I have a fix for the last one: SeptNoWriMo
Yes, SeptNo - the month I almost killed my hands over last year. So, on top of everything else, that should be fun. I think I'll take tomorrow off (as much as I can) and just write. Like, just listen to Les Miz songs and write. I think... after everything that's been going on, I kind of need that.
I know things will even out - they always do. It's just rough right now. In a lot of ways. In stressful school ways and in 'The name's Vincent. Don't forget it, okay?' ways. (Speaking of, I'd love to find a decent suit that wasn't horribly expensive. Or even a few good dress shirts. I'm feeling a little trapped.)
So... this post has taken me forever and I think it's time for me to go to sleep for a while.
Bye for now, guys. I'll check in later and hopefully I'll be feeling better overall.
Writing usually helps.
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