Research and Rambling

Seriously.

I'm getting that weird kind of pressure on my chest and I just want to talk in circles about nothing that actually means anything. So, yeah, I'm pretty normal ^^;

I'm also researching hacking. Which makes me nervous. But anyway...

Any time I find myself writing anything similar to 'This really all goes back to my concept of the Ouroborean Rings – a representation of smaller infinities within a larger infinity, comprising the whole, interconnected but separate' I'm either really on track, or rambling horribly. In fact, it's probably a mixture of both.

I really don't know what I'm on about right now. Guess I'm kind of lonely and just wanting to talk at someone for a while.

I mean, lately I've been thinking in broader terms. By broader terms I mean that I've been trying to place my characters and stories in a broader social context. I realise that most writers have this moment where the process of consistently thinking about characters as they exist outside the pages has been started and everything is new and interesting because you're finally doing it right. Well, that seems to have happened to me. Awesome for me and for a potential future career but annoying for those around me, more than likely.

I don't know what I'm saying, really. I probably just need to read or write for a while and get my mind in a different place. My interest in languages is flaring up again. As is my interest in creepy/romantic things like saying 'I wonder what you taste like'.

[It's 1:24 right now. This entry is probably going to take me all night.]

Just spent almost half an hour listening to P!ATD. And I'm almost half-way through Looking for Alaska... I'm kind of loving it and sitting around seething in anger at the seeming ease with which John Green can write. And then that little part of my mind says 'I can do that' and then I try to. And I fancy I get just a bit closer.

So that's where I am.

Sitting around at 2 in the morning, thinking 'I think I just have too much filler between the interesting scenes' and considering how I should go about fixing that.

I'm also waiting for pre-order information and pricing on a book I kind of want very badly. The authors are people I found through tumblr and I just... yes, the story is rather sexual (as in there's kind of a lot in it) but it serves a psychological point in showing just how broken one of the main characters is (And it really is one of those stories that makes you contemplate all possible meanings of the phrase 'broken toy'.) and the plot and the emotions and the fact that I curled up and cried one night over one of the characters when I just thought about him for too long is pretty solid. So I'm hoping I can scrounge up the money/that it's not too much. Because from what I know of the writers, they are amazing women.

So...

I'm probably going to go watch something on YouTube for a while and then go read until my eyes start to cross. And maybe scavenge for food. And then finally do something productive. Hopefully.

See ya~!

[*sets down her script* That was awful. That was all awful. I mean the writing thing was good, the philosophy thing was good, the book thing at the end was good but everything else... I just... I don't know. *sigh* This really could have been half the length it is. I need to learn to edit... and I really need a snack.]