First, A Song

This song, to be precise:

Because I like it.

Secondly: I've figured it out. I need to quit trying to do things and just do things.

These things include:

• Painting things
• Making Twine Games (little text-based games. I like them because they can be anything and that's awesome)
• Crocheting stuff
• Maybe be on a Minecraft Build Team
• Learn to use Blender (because concept art and story backgrounds and crap such as that)
• Maybe learn to use Unity
• And all kinds of writing. So writing. Much story. Wow.

That's not so difficult, right? Kind of a cool, artistic mixture of things.

But that's basically what this post exists to say: I might have figured a little bit of my life out and I'm happy about that. Also, Darling sent me a message that just said 'Sooooo I had a dream that we went to the Chinatown over here in Chicago and when I woke up I don't think I ever felt more let down in my life.' And that made me both happy and sad. And I want to hug her but she lives several states away.

So I'm going to go get something to eat and then finish chapter six of the thing I'm working on.

Random Post

containing links to geeky crap I find cool.

First: Post-Apocalyptic Internet Radio [here]

Really cool for writers, I think. Just have it playing in the background and pretend you're hiding out with your small survivor colony. Music and messages - people talking about the current state of their area of the world. It's actually pretty immersive just as it is, though there is some repetition.

Second: Cyberpunk Radio Browser Setup [one] [two] [three]

Just a really cool combination for anyone doing techno-anything. Pretty easy to put yourself way up over a sprawling city in some glass and metal high-rise, the streetlights down below making out the neural network of the city through the thin film of rain.

Third: Numbers [----]

No one speaks of these things. I have not spoken of them and you have never heard of them.

Fourth: A Writing tumblr [not mine, someone else's]

All kinds of stuff: music/playlists, prompts, advice, etc. It's a neat place to look around if you're feeling stuck.

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That was really all for this post. I just woke up a couple hours ago so I'm kind of cozy and a little hungry right now. I'm probably going to go get food and then settle down and finish a chapter of the book I've been working on. It's, like, three pages and one good edit from done and it's starting to bug me.

So, yeah. Food then words.

I have so many projects in my head that I really want to do just because I can. Isn't that annoying? I mean, not that I want to do things but that I want to do a) ALL THE THINGS and b) things which have a very low chance of producing any income at all (aside from maybe a donate button and you know how those things are kind of hit and miss as to whether or not anyone likes you enough to donate anything to keep you running).

[Tunnel Snakes rule! We're the Tunnel Snakes. That's us. And we rule!]

Anywho... It's starting to get light outside so I think I'm going to go sit at my desk and try to get something useful done.

I've been feeling all weird and restless lately so hopefully that goes away soon. It's hard to work through a film of 'DO ALL THE THINGS' and 'I just wanna lie on the floor like a slug.'

Bye for now, everyone~ Bye for now.

[Insert Title Here]

So.

I've been using this blog a lot more recently. I think the reason is just the fact that I'm thinking a lot more than I used to. I'm actually lying on my bed with the lights off just because I feel weird and slightly cozy right now but, as a consequence of my now being almost completely nocturnal, I am not tired in the slightest.

As a result I decided to make a list of what I think I'm hoping to get out of essentially being an artist for a living. What am I aiming for? What would I be trying to do? I came up with a few main points:

• Representation. No queer-baiting, no lesbians marketed toward men, just honest characters.

Branching off of that: 

1) Portrayals of healthy polyamory which are not used as cheap jokes or seen as 'problematic'.

2) Portrayals of genderqueer/agender/trans characters which consistently use the correct pronouns, both in dialogue and in narration.

3) Portrayals of asexual characters without resorting to cheap stereotyping (e.g. androids). Not that androids aren't awesome or can't just be asexual, but robots and criminals are basically all we've got right now and that's... that's kind of sad actually.

4) Portrayals of aromantic characters. Sort of in general but mainly in ways which do not paint them as broken, bitter, depressed, loveless, etc. individuals or as someone in need of 'fixing'. Sort of ditto for asexual characters, honestly.

• Recognition

Now, that's one that I don't care for thinking about, to be perfectly honest. I feel like a glory hound, I guess would be the best way to describe it. There's a part of me that, if I wrote something, I want my name on it (well, the name I go by... since I go by it). But that feels really greedy, though I'm not sure why.

And that's really it. I mean, obviously, I want enough money that I can live comfortably and feed my little habits but I think that kind of goes without saying.

So, it's a pretty simple thing I'm striving for, all in all.

Maybe that's why it feels so difficult to figure out what I want from an artistic life. Because I don't want much in terms of numbers, but I'm wanting quite a bit in terms of larger social impact.

The question then becomes: Can I make any kind of a difference? Would inclusive books sell well enough that I could live through writing them? If not, could I make up the difference without a bunch of undue stress? I think that's why I'm sometimes less than inclined to work on my own things. I have no way of knowing if it'll work, especially given that people as a general rule don't really know what they want unless it's given to them and they can see what they do and don't like about it. That presents all kinds of potential issues. That and the fact that no two people experience their life, their world, and themselves in exactly the same way.

Of course, to use a Hemingway quote: 'The shortest answer is doing the thing.'

So Many Posts

I know, you're not sure what to do with this right now. There have been so many new posts lately, it's like I'm actually doing things with my life. Well, I'll tell you this much: I'm not. At least not yet.

Here, have a thing I made in about two minutes:

Confused? Good. I'm thinking of doing a thing where I act like this is a show/manga thing that exists (kind of a cutesy magical girl/idol singer type thing) but I don't know where exactly the line is between 'how delightfully artistic and eclectic to pretend that an idea entirely in one's own head is an external cultural component~!' and 'you is just all kinds 'a batshit, ain't ya?'

So, I'm gonna think on that for just a bit.

Any-poodle, I might try to do a thing where I write a fanfic thing to post each Friday. It's hella good practice and my little tumblr writing-blog thing that I never thought would get noticed at all has over 60 followers so... that's pretty cool. If I do wind up doing that, everything about it or containing a link of any kind will be corralled under the 'Fanfic Friday' tag here and the section will probably look something like this:

-------
And this week's 'Fanfic Friday' is Outlast/Outlast: Whistleblower once again~! (I know - I'm addicted. I understand this, I just don't want help.)

It's kind of a long piece this time, about 1370 on the wordcount, and it can found [here] if you care to subject yourself to the blood and guts that are so common in the Outlast fandom.
-------

I might actually use those section break things a little more often on the longer posts. I do tend to ramble a lot on here.

So. I'm going to go try to finish a chapter of a book that really should have been done a while back and I will see you all later~

Okay,

so that's just not gonna work.

I have a better idea:

• Focus on the few sites that pay when the article is turned in (I only have one right now, I think but I'll have to check) and less on the revenue share stuff
• Focus mostly on ghostwriting stuff and then on editing and then on writing my own stuff.

That should fix a lot of my general stupidity about my scheduling.

I started reading a book by Bill Campbell called 'Sunshine Patriots' and I'm not that far in just yet but I am just in love with the world he's set up here (I mean, it's a functionally terrible place but the worldbuilding is so on-point.) I'm actually looking forward to the rest of this one, and I don't say that often.

Honestly, most of the reason I don't blog about the books I read is that most of them just fail to really impress me overall. There's nothing wrong with them (usually) but they're pretty middle of the road, most of them. And that to me is very sad. I really think reading as much fanfiction as I do has sort of ruined me for mainstream media. I mean, when are you going to find a well-plotted queer android romance or a book about polyamorous spies in the mainstream book pool? Probably never, at least in the current market climate.

But that's not why I'm here.

Part of the reason I'm here is that I have more Minecraft screenshots. Because why not?

This is a place called 'Charlie's'. It's a little pizza place across from The Palace Hotel and right across the street from Witherow. Ol' Charlie knows his locations, one could say.

(Bricks look very odd in the texture pack.)

See? There's the sign.

Interior shot because it has benches and stuff. And you can actually see though the windows and all that. IDK man, I just like this place - it's cozy.

Price list over the main counter. I couldn't do floating signs, so I placed half slabs on the ceiling and attached the signs to the edge of the slabs. You can see the kitchen back behind them.

The kitchen. A sink, two ovens and a few cutting boards. Charlie's is a small place but their prices are right and they do a good amount of business since they're in such a great location.

This is the apartment Charlie rents out sometimes. It's usually occupied by his main cook but that's not a hard-and-fast rule of his.

It's really a very spacious place for the money. If you don't mind the whole place smelling faintly like pizza from the shop below, it'd be a good find.

It's right across the street from the luxurious Palace Hotel and Casino:

It's a beautiful place, especially for out-of-towners. The ground floor is a casino, so there's a little something for everyone here.

A shot from down the street at night.

Daylight gives a slightly better sense of scale.

Understated front entrance leads to the casino on the main floor.

Just inside the doors. The elevators are against the back wall and the two sides of the room mirror one another - each with a water feature, roulette table, poker/blackjack table, and several slot machines.

Gorgeous redstone lighting illuminates the space.

The main desk on the ground floor. Room keys and poker chips are picked up here.

So that's where I am with that right now. I'm working on the second floor where the rooms start but that requires slowly becoming an expert in redstone wiring so... yeah.

Oh, also, before I forget: I have jumped off of the ledge and started reading a webcomic called 'Homestuck'. It is... odd. BUT. It's also pretty fun so I think I'll just hang out on this train and see where it takes me. I'm through Act I already.

I'll probably keep you all updated (whether you want to be or not) on these various goings on so you have that to look forward to. For now, I think I'll either fall on my face and pass out, watch pointless YouTube videos, work on this massive build I've started, or maybe just read more Homestuck. I don't even know right now. Most things in my life fall under the heading of 'I don't even know right now', currently.

I'm trying to be very Zen about it.

Bye for now, everyone~ Bye for now.

Testing, Testing...

Ideal schedule V1:

• 5-6 a.m. -- Get up and Read
• 6-7 a.m. -- One revenue-share article
• 7-8 a.m. -- Fanwork/Friday Flash writing
• 8-9 a.m. -- Article/content work
• 9-10 a.m. -- ""
• 10-10:30 a.m. -- Eat and take your meds
• 10:30-11 a.m. -- Free slot (maybe watch something or read manga or a webcomic)
• 11-12 p.m. -- Study Japanese
• 12-1 p.m -- Ghostwriting work
• 1-2 p.m. -- ""
• 2-3 p.m. -- Original work
• 3-4 p.m. -- ""
• 4-5 p.m -- Review/finish thoughts/etc.
• 5-6 p.m -- Dinner Hour
• 6-7 p.m. -- Editing
• 7-8 p.m. -- Catch up on shows/YouTube/etc.
• 8-9 p.m. -- ""
• 9 p.m to 5 a.m. -- Should be asleep

I'm not sure how well, if at all, that will work but it's a starting point. The biggest obstacle will probably be getting my sleep schedule straightened around since I'm a notorious night owl. We'll just have to see what works and what doesn't, I guess. Can't fix what isn't there and all that.

Ideal birthday/Christmas list

• Canvases
• Minecraft shirts and stuff (maybe Minecraft for PS3)
• Pretty much anything Doctor Who
• Pretty much anything Harry Potter, especially things from Ravenclaw House
• Things relating to zombies (survival guides, zombie shelter signs, that kind of thing)
• Cute things like phone cases and charms/straps
• General writer-y stuff like notebooks are also a good call

And that's about it. I've noticed that I don't want for much when I'm really honest with myself.

This was really just a post I typed out to see if I could figure out a rough schedule I had some chance of sticking to, at least until I figured out what worked and what didn't. I don't hate how it came out so here, have a post.

I'll try to post on Thursday (maybe) with Friday Flash just so I can get some more practice in. If not here, it'll be posted on that little tumblr writing blog I've got (which I really need to get back to anyway). I think I need some kind of fiction thing that's low-stress but consistent. Otherwise, it's hard to make myself write much for some reason. No real idea why; just know that it's annoying.

So, yeah. I'll be back fairly soon, probably with an update or something. Until then, everyone~

Hey Look - Stuff

First off: Minecraft

I built things in it. One of these things is a 14-floor apartment building called 'Witherow Apartments'. I'm actually working on a whole city build but of course that's going to take forever so I figured I'd post a few progress pictures along the way. (I've actually got a whole tumblr blog for inspiration on this thing. Should be fun.)

It's kind of amazing that you could build the entire world in Minecraft like seven times over and still not be at the block limit. I mean, you used to run straight into the Farlands or the Corner Farlands if you went too far from the spawn but the 1.8 update removed them and extended the distance from the center of the map to something like 30 million blocks and after that, things will keep generating but the blocks become 'imaginary' - meaning that you'll clip right through them and fall into the Void if you try to walk on them - and taking more than a few steps past that limit causes the game to freeze and then crash.

Basically, it's 30 million blocks in one direction from the spawn that that starts happening so the map is actually about 60 million blocks long and 60 million blocks wide, which means you have 3.6 quadrillion square meters (blocks) to play with - just in terms of surface area.

Of course that's the PC version. I think the console version is a little smaller.

It's a huge world, is what I'm getting at.

Exterior shots because it's kind of impressive.

Front entranceway

The first floor is a lobby area. That's the elevator door to the left there. I'm kind of waiting for the Dynamic Transport mod to update to 1.8. I might put it back in since it would mean I had working elevators and that would be awesome.

Kitchen shell. Needs appliances and cabinets and whatnot.

Main floorspace from near the front door. (I want to say this is the fourth floor since there's no Ghoul or Vampire alter against the back wall. Because there's a fairly high population of Ghouls and Vampires in this city. It's a very accepting place. Bisexual, genderqueer Ghoul? Okay. Asexual, polyamorous, panromantic Vampire? That's cool, too. Just pay your 870C a month and don't destroy the place. Single resident only. Centralized location. 6-month lease. Pets allowed.)

Here's another shot of the space. You can see the front door up there. The door to the right of it actually leads to the bathroom. It's a gorgeous space with plenty of natural light and UV filtering windows meaning that blackout shades, while easily available if desired, are not required. 

Simple, staged bedroom. Small desk is built into the three-block kickout near the window to the right.

So there's that. Expect a lot of screenshots as I get things done since I finally figured out how to take clean ones without the UI in the way.

Yay, me.

Second: Scheduling and HabitRPG

I... need a better schedule. I'm actually serious about that. As much as I do not like schedules, I do better when I have them. It's very 'You will wake up when we say so / You will sleep when we shut out the lights' but it gets a lot more done which means that I don't feel so drug out and irritated all the time. Which is good for everyone else, too.

I have a list in my head but the two main things on that list are 'Work' and 'Weight', seeing as I'm not happy with either. I need to work more and weigh less, from my point of view. I get the feeling I'd be a lot happier.

Also, here is a smaller, more simple list of things I'm thinking of doing:

• A 30 Day Little Black Dress challenge
• Friday Flash - where you write flash fiction and post it on Friday. Exactly What it Says on The Tin.
• And possibly reading Homestuck. I don't even really know why. It looks like a mess and that means I'm interested.

So yeah.

I have a site called HabitRPG, which I've mentioned before, and it's actually very useful for keeping track of things you're doing or not doing so I think I'll make use of that during this little restructuring phase. I strongly advise pretty much everyone, especially creative types, to give that place a shot. It's got a cool interface, there are challenges and quests and you can hatch pets from these little eggs you find through the drop system. You can hatch them with hatching potions and sometimes you wind up using a skeleton hatching potion on a dragon egg and you get something really awesome and then other days you just hang around and hatch a Cotton Candy Blue Cactus from a prickly green egg.

It's just this side of ridiculous and I love it.

Third: [LOUD STATIC DRONING]

Fourth: This video

which is very interesting for a variety of reasons.

I'm really trying to 1) figure out at least roughly where I am on all these different spectra and 2) add more legitimate diversity to my worlds when I write. Both of these things are bound to be frustrating and wonderful.

So. There's where all this is.

Life is slowly falling into place.

I'm a little sad I can't go see my girlfriend for Halloween this year but we have two conventions together next year and some awesome cosplay planned so I can't be too sad.

I'm going to go and try to plan a little before I fall asleep. Maybe work on the city a little. Either way, I will see you all soon. Have an awesome day and bye for now, everyone. Bye for now~

*SIGH*

Okay, so here it is: I have a headache, my sleep schedule is shit, and apparently I get very nervous about having to show off anything I've actually put time into. So. I'm going to stay up and finish the stuff on my list today. Then I'm actually going to go to sleep because this screwed up sleep schedule of mine is actually starting to piss me off.
What I'll probably wind up doing is writing an article or two for revenue share sites and then spending most of my time working on A) paid articles, B) Ghostwriting, and C) my stuff.

Weekends, my birthday, and Christmas are OFF days. I can work on them if I want to but I do not have to.

I will get so much more done if I can just stick to that. Not that difficult - just takes a little will-power. I used to have so much will-power; I'm really not sure what happened.

But that's where that is. I'm going to sleep tonight and actually try tomorrow, even if I can only try a little. It would still be better than whatever's been going on lately.

Until next time, guys~!