I don't have a title.

And, apparently, my entire life up to this point has been a sham. I can't write. I can't produce a simple story.

Now, to distract from this troubling revelation, here are some other things:

Section One: Reading

I finished 'The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo' yesterday. Actually, a very good read. It's painted in very broad strokes most of the time and that took some getting used to but all in all, it was very good.

I'm a bit bothered by Lisbeth's portrayal and can generally take or leave Blomkvist but overall, it's a rather good story. I'm working my way through the trilogy.

Section Two: Writing

Things are happening. I'm not sure what things but they're happening. I have ideas and a more concrete idea about said ideas.

Also, I think that my characters work best if they're fundamentally screwed up. Aside from that, not much going on.

Section Two-A: WriYe and Arrow of Eloquence

As you may or may not know, Arrow of Eloquence has an amazing person by the name of Siana Blackwood handling the forum when I'm too lazy too - which is, let's face it, most of the time. The 2013 year has been dubbed 'Rise of the YeSpiMad'* and has a suitably awesome forum skin.

We're a small community but we're supportive and everybody knows everybody so, you know, go ahead and stop by when you feel like it. It's a little bit chaotic right now since we're starting to change things over for 2013.

WriYe is still a go for me since the word goal is actually fairly reasonable. It's a nice board. The people seem friendly enough and they have a blogging circle - which, by the way, can be found on the 'Other Inmates' page.

*WriMo shorthand meaning 'Year of Spiralling into Madness'

Section Two-B: Let's Play: WriMo World Tour

Really. It's like:

NaNoWriMo is the Big City. It's the one that everyone wants to go to and everyone dreams about and all that. It's like New York (or possibly Hollywood).

Places like AugNoWriMo and JulNoWriMo are larger towns, places that people have heard about but that don't make the Inkslinger Daily as often.

JanNoWriMo, FebNoWriMo, and similar ones are smaller towns. Slower traffic and not many people.

Places like Arrow of Eloquence are like the residential sections of small towns. Everybody knows their neighbours and most people get along wonderfully.


Section Three: Fandom

Multi-fandom fan site thing.

That's what I'm thinking of. I'm still screwing around with ideas but it might work. Mainly I just want a little project that I can work on without ever thinking 'How can I make money off of this?'


Section Four: The Zombie Apocalypse

Not much to report. Saw my neighbour shambling around her garden but she didn't bother me. One good thing about being so isolated, I guess. No one's too murderous. I think I'll stay inside for today and go on a scouting mission sometime tomorrow or the next day. We have enough food to last a while, even if we lose power eventually.

Stay safe, guys. Look for early warning signs and protect yourselves. It's in your hands now. I'll see you soon.

Popular Posts

I have them, apparently.

Here:

Anatomy of a May WriMo
JulNoWriMo Part 1 - Jezzy Sucks at Writing
Let's Play 'Writers Life' - Part 1 - HIP-HOP ZOMBIES!
. . .
Literal Blog Post
I support Non-Human and Trans-Human Rights (it was like a 'creative writing post' - how did this happen?)
Entry the Seventh: Now I have to memorise a math book.
Fourteen: I just keep finding ways to clutter up that sidebar
Nineteen: Strange Facts and Useless Information
Rambly headcanon/questions post

And I've noticed something:

All of these posts are either short or longer but interesting because the topic changes, like I'm talking naturally.

So, basically, I seem to have moments where, periodically, I forget to just be me.

For example:

It's like, raining and it is hella dark outside. I love it. It's also freezing. I put my hand against the glass in my window this morning. Horrible idea - will never do it again.

Also, my right calf is scratched up something awful. No idea why. My nails have all broken back so far I can't scratch anything with them. Also, my hair is weird. Like, pieces keep separating out and getting in my face. I never noticed this back home; it's just down here.

By the segue... starting WriYe in the desert is gonna be fun. I'm thinking of having the main original project that I work on and having a small fan-story that I can jump back and forth to when I just can't focus. That way I'm still practising - still writing - but I'm getting a break too. Plus that would give me an excuse to keep working on the Weebly site I've been playing around with. I do want to do something with it - I'm just not ultimately sure what.

Of course, I can hardly do fan-stories anymore since I always write a few chapters and then change it into something original. I don't know why - it just always happens.

Having a blog is really very interesting.

I can look back and actually see my concept of 'normal' falling apart as I learn more about myself and the world.

I think it's the rain. The rain always makes me like this - rambly and talkative and wanting to write.

Another thing I've noticed about those popular posts is that I generally deliver something that people like or at least find interesting.

Like, for example, the movie V for Vendetta is a proponent of a very specific kind of heroism - namely that large, sweeping gestures are A) universally good when going up against a corrupt government and B) universally liked among the oppressed people.

In reality, neither of these are true. Now, I realise the fiction operates under neater laws than the real world does. Things have reasons in fiction. V for Vendetta was a wonderful movie.

And it got me thinking.

Why is it that we typically associate heroes with these large gestures that at times boarder on anarchism? I feel it's simply because, even in the real world, these large gestures serve an important purpose. They are not the be-all, end-all as is typically seen in most fiction but they do shock the public into paying attention.

That's all.

These violent, larger-that-life schemes, positive or negative, shock the public into paying attention.

I really think that's at least a large part of why our social construction often praises people who are violent for a 'good' cause (like soldiers) and condemns those who are violent for an 'unworthy' cause (like most assassins you'll ever hear about).

It's all really interesting.

But that's where my head's at today. I think I'm going to figure out exactly how to tackle the work I've got and then maybe go read some more. It's just one of those days, you know. Cosy.

Twelve: Killer Dinosaurs

Do you see this? This is insane and awesome and a part of me wants to work on movie sets so I can do crap like this and get paid for it. I wish they would have hidden their legs better but a good pair of digitegrade stilts would fix that.

I just love costumes, okay?

(Hi, I'm Jezzy. I like to pretend! Come on!)

I've been thinking a lot. And I need to start working out again. I also want a hat with ears but that's another story.

Also, random, but I'm glad to see that what they call the 'Furry' fandom isn't nearly as weird as the media likes to portray it as. It's just like any other fandom I've seen, really. That's... kind of a relief, really because I guess I'd fit a broad definition of it. I mean, in that anthropomorphic animals (think anything from Balto to Bugs Bunny) have always been kind of cute to me with the really human facial expressions and all and I wouldn't feel weird going out wearing a tail, a collar and ears (although some of that is probably just due to the fact I appear to lack the ability to feel shame).

Anywho.... I just thought that was interesting to note. I'm amazed at how often the media seems to get things wrong on purpose. They do it all the time with pretty much every subculture or fandom they use so it really pays to do your own research (and do it well).

And, overall, it's just another creative outlet - at least for me. Fashion and costumes (though I'm not a fursuiter, for the record. I'd think it'd be like wearing a mascot suit - too hot and claustrophobic.) and eye-catching things along with people who really are just themselves have always made me feel just a touch better about the world.

Anyway. That was just kind of social commentary. That was far and away not the point of this.

Um...

Actually, I'm not sure I had a point. I've been so... kinda burned out today that all this was kind of just for the sake of not missing a day.

Also, I kind of want a pet rat once I'm settled in. They're so cute ^^

All in all, I basically feel like this:

and my thoughts are in about a million different places and I'm reading up on random subcultures/fandom for no apparent reason... So... yeah.

I just want to be me and be happy, even if everyone else thinks I'm weird/a freak/a little off/an attention whore/whatever else. I'm sick of it all. I'm sick of basically being told by society: 'Be yourself... just not in public. Or at work. Or online. Or anywhere where anyone might notice that you're different.'

So. For right now, I'm gonna go curl up, watch Monster High (I know, shut up) and maybe get something productive done. Maybe.

I might just go scrounge something to eat. But either way, I'm having kind of FILDI moment with the whole 'being yourself' thing. Not much I can do here right now but when we move and I'm in school, I think I'm just gonna focus on school and on not worrying what other people think of me. I'll probably be a lot happier that way.

This might have sparked it a little. (If you're already in a bad mood or depressed about the world, I wouldn't suggest reading the story. It'll just confirm that society as a whole is pretty awful.)

Bye for now, guys. (I really need to get better at blog posts...)