I'm Gonna Kill You

Yeah I'm gonna kill you
and all your loud-ass friends too
I don't think it'd be too much to ask
for you to be a bit less of an ass
If I don't get some peace and quiet
I'll put you on a strychnine diet
I'm usually a very peaceful person
but I'm gonna kill you.

-Hank Green, I'm Gonna Kill You


This verse kind of speaks to me because there are times when I also feel that I need to kill people who are too loud.

Anyway...

Good morning, guys and dolls~ It's Monday, February 13th and I should be writing!

Basically what I'm hoping happens today is that I can stay awake for at least most of the day (maybe go do fun stuff, maybe write about awful things happening and blond, goth guys in fake band t-shirts, not sure yet). I'm doing that because my sleep schedule is a little screwed up (which is to say that I am completely nocturnal) and that's starting to make me feel a little groggy and just ick so... yeah.

As for research, I need to look into: hacking, poisons, guns, knives, how to hide weapons in women's formal wear, assassination in general and various other things that could get me questioned by the FBI. Awesome.

That's the price I pay for interesting characters. I also managed to kill my headphones - well, ear buds, technically - so that sucks. One side still works, though, so I've been playing songs on YouTube for a while. Um... what? Oh, yeah.

There are a lot of things going on right now that I could comment on in a broader, social context (like the fact that the women Tweeting that Chris Brown could beat them anytime he wanted are a product of our society, not a cause or that the modern business industry values ruthlessness above all else) but I try to stay away from topics like that for the most part. This is largely because our own reality is very subjective. We can know only what our senses tell us and because of that, we are somewhat limited in our understanding of the world and the people around us. We make a habit of not thinking of others in complex terms, something that I've been having to do more and more in planning and attempting to be a storyteller.

I'm not saying it's right -  in fact, a lot of things in our society are very wrong - but it is a product of so many things about ourselves and about our perceived environment that it becomes increasingly difficult to pinpoint one thing that has caused everything else to derail. Personally, I think it's because there is no 'one thing'. It may be that instead of one thing causing the train to derail, it is instead many things causing the tracks to rust and twist and corrode to the point that even though the train can stay on them, the ride is neither safe nor smooth.

Of course this is all a digression for the light and informal nature of this blog (and for that, I apologise - even though it's my blog). Since I don't feel this is really the time for me to be rambling about complex sociological issues, I'm going to go back to the light and informal nature we're all used to for a while.

I'm worried about this theme. I mean, I like the basic look but I wonder if it could be more... me, somehow? I don't know.

*awkward laugh*

I'm almost twenty.

Holy crow.

On All Kinds of Things

First off, writing:

Been thinking about that lately. Mainly because a certain editor was impressed by how much I'd improved quality-wise. Like, insanely (and, I think, unduly) impressed. Story-wise is another matter and now I kind of just want to kick ass as an independent since I really doubt I could be marketable overall as mainstream and still have any fun with the story, you know? Doesn't really matter why, just need to own it, right? Right.

Second, music:

Slowly falling for Panic! At The Disco. Yeah. And screwing around with novel soundtracks because I can.

Third, my project-hopping:

I project-hop. A lot. It's gotten so bad that in the last few hours I've researched all kinds of guns, written part of a very emotional scene, written lines for other places in that same story, gotten annoyed (yet again) with The Book, struggled with how to handle a short story and realised that I am definitively 'not mainstream'.

BUT.

I am cognizant of that fact. My project hopping seems to have its advantages. I can get away from stories I'm starting to hate and work on something that actually flows for at least a few minutes.

...

I just realised how little point most of these entries have anymore...

I also realised that I ramble too much, compartmentalise too much and generally 'talk to fill the silence' too much in my actual books. That, my friends, is why I'm having such a fit. And thankfully that is a relatively simple fix.

So... I'm going to try to have more of a point in the future... and I'm going to go work on something for a little while - just see what I can't do when I'm paying attention.

On all kinds of things

First and foremost, WriDaNoJu.

Apparently, my project this month wants to be a novella. That's fine; I can totally respect that. Things is, it didn't tell me this until about a little more than halfway through the month. So. I'm now having to scramble to make up the word count I will almost surely lack on the other stories that will most likely wind up in the collection that 'Praying for Death' with likely take up a large section of. Speaking of...

I'm moving back through the ranks basically. I'm doing short stories again and unfortunately, they're very fun. I have several I want to do, mainly horror/sci-fi/mystery/LGBT stuff. Now it's just finding the time to write them.

JulNoWriMo will see me try for a full novel but I can't be sure how successful I'll be. Well, I might get to the word count but once everything's edited down, I'm not sure it will wind up over the cut off word count for a novel. I think that one really deserves to be, though. It's very Faustian and I think it would work well as a long-form narrative. But that's just me.

I've picked up links to a few markets I think might be worth submitting to so wish me luck there. I've never done that before so it'll be an experience. They're mainly magazines but there are a few print markets and publishers that might be a good fit. I don't know what I'm going to wind up doing, really.

Also, chain books. For people who don't know what chain books are, it means that one person writes the first chapter, the next person writes the second chapter and so on and so forth until the end. They look insanely fun.

Not sure what I'll do with Wattpad but I'll leave it up for a while until I decide.

Well, right now, I'm still a little behind on the word count front and I just got hit with the Story Idea Brick so Ink-Slingaria I'll see you later.