A Light But Relentless Drizzle of Anchovies

That describes my day just about perfectly. If it had started raining anchovies, I would not have been surprised. In fact, I'm pretty sure I would have simply sighed and gone to find an umbrella.

Weirdness incarnate.

Let's go down the list:

1) Woke up six hours early because I thought I could work and actually do something useful. Couldn't focus and wound up writing camerashipping. I woke up six hours early to write camerashipping. (It's a fandom thing, if you couldn't guess by my usual level of geekiness.)

2) Found a confession in my tumblr inbox. "So for a little while now I’ve had a crush on you, and I mean an actual crush". It was a long message. And I'm embarrassed for a few reasons: First off, because I didn't actually know. I am, like, BBC Sherlock-level bad at picking up on emotions, especially anything to do with love. My mother guessed it way before I had any idea. Secondly, the person felt like they were annoying me by telling me and I just find that super sad. Worst part is I sort of have what they call a 'squish' on them - which is basically the asexual version of a crush. Awkward all over.

3) I got a 93 on my math final. So that's good.

4) I saw a guy from my CPR class and he stopped me outside and asked me what was on the final (since he failed the class last time. Somehow.) Then we talked about Monster High (because I have a shirt from it and his oldest daughter has some wristbands from it, apparently).

5) Oh, and I got smiled at by some guy because I held a door for him.

So yeah, most of today has been one long 'WTF is going on with my life' moment.

So I'm working on a Website

[You should be able to click that and make it bigger.]

So yeah. Lately I've been getting a little tired of all the deliberate queerbaiting in most mainstream media and the fact that (almost) every protagonist is a straight white male and that even horror/gore shows aren't immune to completely unnecessary sex scenes and romantic subplots.

I'm just gettin' a little huffy in general, to be fair. So, I figured 'Hey, Rabbit... you can write. And there are some free or super cheap but still really good publishing channels out there (like CreateSpace and Smashwords, etc.) where you wouldn't be fighting a bunch of industry bullshit about GSM* themes. Plus nowadays you can make a pretty quality website for nothin' or next-to-nothin', so why not use what you've got?'

And then I said, 'You know what, Rabbit? That's a pretty good idea. We should hang out more.'

And then I said, 'I know, right? Next week though - I'm under the gun on some ghost-writing.'

And I said, 'Yeah, no, I totally understand.'

. . .

*looks around* Where am I?

So that was basically how that happened. I'm still messing with the groundwork obviously, trying to decide what I feel I can write well enough to include, but the idea is there and that's a start.

I got to thinking that if we ever want to see this shift in the entertainment industry, it's going to have to come from the fans first. Big companies won't risk alienating that much of their market by taking any kind of political stand - which, in a way, I can understand. I mean, I might not like it but business is business. And that's really why it's got to come from outside the industry first.

But I'm not going to ramble about this right now. (First because it's way too warm in this room, and second because I don't really have myself together enough to write things out properly and I'd rather not make my point but make it poorly.) Right now, I'm going to take a break, maybe get something to eat, then come back and get at least a few more pages done on a (now overdue) project. Thankfully, the client is very understanding.

Oh, and school. School is in there too somewhere. And DashCon.

A lot is going on right now.

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*Gender and Sexual Minorities

So

I am an official Phi Theta Kappa member now.

So that's kind of awesome.

[Looking back on these, the only one I like (for the way I look) is the second one. I don't look fat in that one.]

And on the same day, another Trager-blogger got a compliment that basically said 'Best Trager A++' and they responded with "Aw now I think you should be directing yourself to this Trager over here if [it's] the best you’re looking for. I’m still sitting in their shadow. Seriously though, thank you."

That link? Goes to my Trager.

I squeaked when I saw this; I'm not even gonna lie. And when I brought it up in the chat, I got this back:

Friend Two [Fellow Trager]: You deserve it friend.
Friend Two: [Fellow Trager]: Seriously, you are the best Trager on here.

Then I thanked them all profusely because, really, the Outlast fandom has done a lot of picking my little cotton tail up when I've been down. And then this happened:

Friend One: //paps your face and hugs
Friend One: You work really hard and your writing is fantastic
Friend One: you deserve the compliments hun

And later:

Friend One: (heart) glad to have you around Rabbit c:
Friend One: The chat wouldn't be the same without you D:

So I'm still a bucket of emotions about that.

The last week though has basically been a bunch of unadulterated fustercluckery though. I feel like we all stepped into a slightly alternate universe where everything's just about a half a bubble off plumb.

A lot of stupid life stuff has been going on lately but I might have pinned down an answer to that pesky 'What are you exactly?' question. Like, we all know I have some gender weirdness going on (that's why I use ze/hir on the internet), but the more I thought about it, the more I realised that, honestly, I tend to get aesthetically attracted to people (as in 'I like looking at you but I'm not gonna do anything creepy like follow you around but also don't talk to me') and/or intellectually attracted to people (like, 'Your ideas are intriguing to me - would you like to sit and talk about them?') but that's really the extent of it. I don't want to date you, I don't want you giving me things or coming around all the time, stay out of my space and don't touch me.

That sounds like what they call 'aro/ace' (aromantic/asexual) to me.

So, there's that.

Anywho...

I have math and astronomy and junk like that to claw my way through. My focus has been terrible lately and I'm really hoping that clears up soon because I have a book to finish. And about a hundred more to write.

Wish me luck~ and I'll see you all soon.

Love, Rabbit