I'm Living in a World of Goldfish

I figured it out.

I am legitimately very intelligent. As in, my testable IQ when I was in 5th grade was 115 and that was off of a test where I skipped several (and I do mean several) questions just because I was bored and didn't want to do them so the odds are that it's higher. By how much, I'm not sure, but higher.

Now, I'm not sure I believe that intelligence can be accurately quantified but I do know that a decent IQ test can give you a good baseline for how you're going to interact with the rest of the world.

Therefore, I submit to you this thought: What if I'm not a hack, or a loser, or even untalented? What if my ideas are capital-I Ideas? What if I can write brilliantly, paint beautifully, learn languages and instruments easily, 'think outside the box' and keep my grades high without really trying, understand complex topics with half the explanation time it would take the average student? What if I'm legitimately attractive or at least cute? What if I can build air scrubbers for use in deep space or improve the functionality of prosthetic limbs and develop functional augments that pick up the electrical impulses sent from the brain rather than relying solely on muscle contractions? What if I'm a little bit amazing?

Now... I figured out a day or so ago that I was just pretty lazy when it came to actually... well, doing anything, at this point. But I'm not sure that's the whole story, although it is a decent-sized chunk of it.

What I think might be happening is that I'm already aware of that gap between myself and the rest of 'normal', 'average' society. (Please note that there is nothing at all wrong with being average - it's just that when you're not, you really notice it.) The laziness may partially be coming from a desire to not alienate myself anymore than absolutely necessary. Intelligence is isolation in most circles.

This is an unfortunate realization for me because it proves that I do in fact care about the rest of society and that's something I was trying to avoid.

So there's your bite-sized epiphany for the day. I'm lazy about things because I'm already lonely (even though I don't want to be because I'm very aware that most people seem to be bastards. In fact, most of them appear to be bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling) and all I've been trying to do is not make the jump between worlds any wider than it already was. My inter-dimensional portal gun doesn't have the best battery life.

Maybe that's the first thing I should look into fixing.