So that was a good message to come home to.
(Richard Trager from Outlast is one of my RP accounts. Apparently I play him pretty well.)
In other news, I still kind of want to hurl myself down a flight of stairs and I'll tell you why: I have two tests tomorrow. One I'm not too worried over and one that I don't want to be worried over but I still kind of am to the point of physical illness and anxiety. So that's been very, very fun to deal with. Couple of upsides, though, 1) it's giving me a lot of very violent thoughts and emotions, which turned out to be great for the plot line of a book I'd been thinking of starting and 2) I found a wonderful resource called Khan Academy and that's been super helpful.
I'm not sure how well I'll sleep tonight but I know I'll be up for a while going back over things and probably taking the practice test again. There's not much I can do about it now except study, go slow, (at least) double check, and try not to get over-stressed. I really do need to be more engaged - things really aren't that difficult if I actually learn them, like the noun declensions in Latin.
Math is formulaic and so is chemistry (and so is Latin, really). Learn the formulas, plug and play, not that hard. That's a very simple lesson that I seem to need to learn over and over. A little work. I'm smart (and this might sound very conceited but I swear I do not mean it that way) so I really don't have to work that hard for my grades. But I can't just coast by on common sense like I used to and as annoying as that is, it's still not as stressful as it is for some people.
So that was my 'moment' for right now. I really need to learn to just be okay with how things turn out as long as I put some degree of effort in. I think I'd be a lot less prone to thinking about carving the Latin endings into my leg* if I could just do that.
Anyway. I'm going to go try to hammer things into my head. I hope everyone has a good day (or at least one that doesn't suck) and I will check in here later on.
(*This was a legitimate thought I had earlier. My mind on anxiety is not a fun place to be.)
